The Way Back
by emoeses
Summary: [AU!] Teen idol Austin Moon is forced into a 21-day stay in rehab in hope to recover his wrecked image. There he meets Ally Dawson, the quiet girl with trust issues and a rumoured eating disorder, who might help him finally see things from a whole new perspective.
1. day one (part 1)

_Hi everybody!_

_So remember the longfic I mentioned I was working on in Finding New Someones? Yeah, this one is not it. Right after I announced it I actually got the inspiration for this one and it's been the only thing I've been working on since then :). I have eleven chapters down so far and I'm pretty excited to finally post the first one. I will be done with my exams next Tuesday, so I will update next week at the latest and hopefully keep posting a new chapter every week after that._

_To avoid getting carried away I've decided to put a 2000 words maximum for every chapter, and so far I've only broke my own rule a few times. Anyway, this chapter is actually a bit short compared to the others, and sadly Ally doesn't make an appearance yet. She will be in every chapter after this one, though! And I have lots of Auslly goodness in store ;)_

_One last thing before I leave you with the first chapter: this is my very first M rated fanfiction, and I really hope it won't come off as incredibly awkward. There will be smut in later chapters, together with cursing and references to drugs and alcohol. I will try to warn in advance about scenes that not everybody might like, but remember that the rating system is there for a reason. If you're uncomfortable about these kind of themes I suggest you go some other place. In any case, it's not my intention to offend anyone :)_

_Also, I've never been in rehab. I did some research but don't expect accuracy, internet will only explain so much. Feel free to let me know if I'm getting things horribly wrong. I've tried to stay true to the characters as much as I could, but due to the setting being completely different from the DC one, expect them to be a bit OOC at times._

_Okay, I swear I'm done blathering. Enjoy the first chapter!_

**disclaimer: **I do not own Austin & Ally.

* * *

_**day one (part 1)**_

The room was not particularly big, but bright and clean. It had a walk in closet and a big, modern bathroom. The furniture was stylish but essential: two double beds, two nightstands, two dark wooden bureaus and a fairly big mirror. The walls were of a soft cream color that complemented well with the dark brown bedspread. There was a framed abstract poster hanging on the wall above the two beds, and he counted three windows: two narrow and long, above the headboards, plus a big one on the right side lateral wall, all covered by white venetian blinds.

It looked more like a hotel room than a room in a rehab facility, but the realization didn't help to quiet down Austin's discomfort. He let his bag fall on the bed closest to the door.

"Sorry, that's taken," announced a voice from behind him.

He turned and found a ginger haired, 20-something guy resting against the doorframe. He was wearing the weirdest combination of patterns Austin had ever seen.

"Oh, you must be Dez," said Austin, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm your new roommate—"

"Austin Moon, I know. Your face is all over my little sister's room." They shook hands, briefly. "I'm guessing you being here has something to do with the punching paparazzi and threatening to kill one of your dancers stuff?"

"I didn't threaten to kill anyone," snorted Austin, grabbing his duffel bag to throw it on the other bed. "And you would punch a paparazzi too, if they called you a 'little fuck' in front your girlfriend," he added, sourly.

"So the legend is true, huh? You and Kira Starr are actually a thing?" asked Dez, completely unfazed by what Austin had just said.

"Maybe not anymore. I guess it depends on how well things go in here."

"What are you here for, then?"

"Alcohol and drug abuse, same old shit. I'm not addicted or anything, though."

"Sure you're not," Dez snickered, and Austin felt the urge to tell him to fuck off, but wasn't really keen on the idea of the consequences. He had too many people telling him he had anger management issues already.

"What about you?" he asked instead, opening his duffel bag as an excuse not to look at him.

"That's personal, dude."

He turned, two tee shirts still in his hands. "I told you mine!" he protested.

"That was your decision," shrugged Dez, kicking off his shoes. He threw himself on the bed and sighed, resting his head against his hands.

"Whatever," grumbled Austin, and he want back to unpacking.

Dez, however, didn't seem to catch on to the fact that the conversation had ended.

"So, why are you here instead of in one of those celebrity rehabs?" he asked.

"My parents liked that this one would allow me to keep my phone and stay in touch with my manager, publicists ans stuff. Also my mom is really into all of this holistic crap. And it's not too far from home."

"Thought you lived in Beverly Hills with the other celebs."

"I have a condo there, but my parents live in Miami."

"Heats fan?"

"Dude, of course!"

"Awesome. We'll get along," Dez winked and Austin found himself smiling genuinely for the first time that day. Maybe his weirdo roommate wasn't as bad as he'd thought.

"Are there many people our age in here?" he asked, heading towards the walk in closet to check how much space there was. It was fairly big and Dez's colorful tee shirts occupied half of it. He took a handful of free hangers and brought them back to his bed.

"Not really, it's mostly middle-aged businessmen and women, a few kinda famous athletes... you're the only popstar, for sure."

Austin nodded as he put his hoodies, button shirts and jackets on the hangers. He set all of his tee shirts in one of the drawers of his bureau and his pants in a second one. He then carried the hanged clothes back to the closet and put them away.

"So, how long until the paparazzi storm the place?" asked Dez, sitting up.

"Nobody's gonna know I'm here. My people are gonna release a statement tomorrow... they hope that letting the press know about my 'decision' to get help might do something to recover my image. No one's gonna name this facility, though. Not until I'm out, at least."

Dez tilted an eyebrow. "I guess the air quoting 'decision' means this was not your idea?"

Austin sighed. "You ask a lot of questions, you know?"

Dez nodded. "My shrink says the same thing."

Further conversation was prevented by a knock on the door. Before either of them could answer, the face of one of the nurses peeked inside.

"Are you settling in okay, Mr Moon?" she asked in a soft tone.

"Yeah, sure," said Austin.

"Do you need anything?"

"Not right now."

She smiled. "Alright, then. Dinner will be served outside in an hour and you'll be exonerated from the evening activities, since it's your first day."

"Thanks," nodded Austin, awkwardly.

"I will see you guys later."

"Bye."

"Bye, Tina."

Austin turned to Dez. "I think I'm gonna take a shower."

"Go ahead."

The bathroom was big and luxurious. There were both a bathtub and a shower, the box of which was made completely of glass. He opened the faucet and watched the water hit the ceramic bottom as he undressed, feeling uncomfortably empty of thoughts. Lately it'd been happening to him way too much and he hated it, it made him feel like he was not inside his body anymore. It wasn't just the not thinking about anything, it was the apathy that made him feel void, distanced. He'd usually make it go away with a few beers and tequila shots, but drinking was not an option there.

He tried to shake the feeling off and stepped under the already steaming water, letting heat untangle his muscles and wash away some of the uneasiness.

He had to admit, the place was nice. Comfortable, aesthetically appealing, quiet and in a beautiful location. The staff seemed nice and available, and so his roommate. He still felt alone, though. Abandoned by his world, even his family. He missed working, performing in front of huge crowds, recording new hits. He missed the glamorous parties and Kira, her chocolate colored hair and big sweet eyes. He'd been screwed over by the tabloid side of it, the overblown scandals and rude reporters. It all felt like the press had been plotting to destroy his career and succeeding, and no one would believe that he was actually perfectly fine, not even his parents.

"You've changed, honey," his mother had said in between sobs a few days before, the night they'd told him he'd be spending time in rehab. "You're not acting like yourself."

"That's bullshit! I'm _fine_, Mom!" he'd yelled back.

"We agreed to letting you have a career so young because we believed in you, son. You were confident, driven and passionate. Now we're afraid that fame is going to your head," had calmly explained his father.

"No, it's not true! What the hell would you know, anyway?"

"We read the papers, Austin."

"The papers? You mean the tabloids? Those are all lies! It's your own fault if you read shit."

"You're being sued for threatening to _kill_ somebody."

"I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Well, your 'anything wrong' could get you in prison for six months!"

The yelling had continued for what had seemed like hours, until his father had finally threatened to freeze all of his assets.

"We've agreed when you were sixteen that I would have power of attorney until you turned twenty-one. Guess what, you're only nineteen, and I will take everything away. I will even get Starr Records to release you from your contract. You will end your career and go to college, get a business degree and join the family business."

Austin had cursed him and his still sobbing mother, told them he hated them and they were destroying his dreams. He'd yelled until his throat had started to burn, and then he'd stormed off to drink himself into oblivion. He'd tried LSD for the first time and didn't remember anything about it.

His parents finding him passed out at the front door the morning after hadn't helped his cause, and after seeing the broken look in his mother's eyes, he'd accepted to give rehab a try. He still however fiercely believed that everyone was making too big of a deal out of the whole thing.

The facility had admitted him for a twenty-one days minimum stay, comprehensive of one-on-one therapy and meditation sessions twice a day. His fans would find comfort in knowing that he was finally getting the help he needed and he could get a chance to take a vacation from fame and its burdens, or at least that was the way his manager had put it. He just hoped the three weeks would fly by and he could get back to his life. For some reason, he had the feeling that wasn't gonna be the case.

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_I love love love reviews! Please tell me what you think!_

_xx emoeses_


	2. day one (part 2)

_Helloooo people!_

_I'm feeling particularly cheerful today cause my oral exam was this morning (it went great) and now I'm officially done with high school forever. Yay me! I have two months of relaxing to look forward to!_

_Thank you to everybody who reviewed and follows this story! I honestly couldn't wait to update, and now that I don't have any more studying to do it's gonna be even harder not to post all the chapter I've written at once! I think I'm gonna keep updating weekly, but as soon as I finish writing the story I might update twice a week. Anyway, let's not get ahead of ourselves, here is chapter two!_

* * *

_**day one (part 2)**_

He stepped out of the shower a few minutes later and dried off quickly, before wrapping a towel around his waist and walking back into the room to get dressed.

Dez had taken out his computer and was now typing something with a very concentrated look on his face.

"What are you doing?" asked Austin, while putting on a clean pair of jeans.

"Working on my screenplay," answered Dez, casually.

"Cool, you're into that kinda stuff?"

"Yeah. I wanna be a director."

"What's your favorite movie?"

"Anything by Spike Stevens," he smiled, "and pretty every Zalien movie ever made."

"Seriously? I love the Zalien series, man!"

"Awesome, you can be my new best friend, then," Dez winked.

Austin laughed, but didn't complain. He picked a striped tee shirt and put on his lucky whistle necklace, then sat back down on the bed.

"Wanna start heading downstairs? Hang by the pool till dinner?" he asked, after a while.

He needed something to distract him, and he was hoping that meeting a couple more people would do the trick.

"Sure," agreed Dez, snapping his laptop shut.

They both put shoes on and left the room to go outside, Dez leading the way. He seemed pretty comfortable in the environment, greeting the staff they encountered in the hall and the foyer like they were old friends. Everybody smiled fondly at him, asking how his day had been. He must've been in there a while.

The temperature outside was starting to cool down, but it was still quite warm compared to the air conditioned inside. Austin however liked the sensation of the summery air on his skin, and he inhaled the ocean breeze with a content smile, following Dez to the wooden deck chairs on the side of the pool. Besides them and the couple of people who were setting the long table near the glass doors, there was only one other person, a girl, sitting on the opposite side of the pool, scribbling fast into the notebook she held in her lap. She had chestnut brown hair that fell in big waves on her shoulders, fair skin and a petite physique. She was wearing a red halter top, white shorts and flip flops, and those were the only things he could gather about her appearance, because her head was down and she was too far away. She still intrigued him, though he didn't really know why.

"Who's that?" he asked Dez.

"Ally Dawson, daughter of Lester Dawson."

"Should I know who he is?" he wondered, perplexed.

"The owner of Sonic Boom."

"The chain of music stores?"

"Yep. She got here just a few days ago. Rumor has it, she's in the Eating Disorders and Chemical Addiction Program," whispered Dez, eyebrows arched suggestively.

Austin looked at the girl again. There was nothing in her figure that indicated that anything was wrong with her. She looked fragile, if anything, perhaps a bit sad.

"I haven't met her officially yet, but according to Trish she hardly ever talks, she just writes in her book all the time," continued Dez.

"Who's Trish?" asked Austin, his attention caught by the new name.

"I'm Trish," answered a female voice from behind them.

Austin turned and found himself in front of a short, curly-haired, Latina girl, who was probably around their age.

"Short for Patricia, but I'll hate you if you call me that," she warned.

He smiled a little. "Nice to meet you, I'm—"

"Austin Moon, I know. I don't live under a rock," she scoffed, walking around them to take a seat on the chair in front of theirs.

"Hello, Trish. How was therapy?" asked Dez.

"Boring, as usual. Sally thinks she has me all figured out, and that's the most annoying thing ever."

"We were just talking about Ally," he informed her.

"Talk about annoying!" exclaimed Trish, seemingly not caring at all about the volume of her voice or the fact that the girl in question was within earshot. "Today she asked me if we could lower the AC in our room, and I _swear_ it's the most she's said since she got here."

"She's probably shy," suggested Austin.

"Plus, you're intimidating," added Dez, with a nonchalance that seemed a bit inappropriate to go with the comment.

Trish just glared at him. "Whatever, I'm fine as long as she doesn't start shoving fingers down her throat in our shared bathroom."

Austin grimaced at the image and carefully shot another look a the girl. She was still writing, apparently oblivious to their conversation, which was probably for the best.

"Don't be harsh, Trish. We're all messed up in here," said Dez, calmly.

She just rolled her eyes. "So what about you, Austin Moon? We don't usually get celebrities around here."

"You don't have to use my last name," said Austin, choosing to ignore the latter statement.

"My friend Dana keeps yapping about how disappointed she is, how she had such great hopes for you, that you were not gonna become yet another troubled teen idol..."

Austin shot her a deadly look that was supposed to shut her up, but she kept listing all the reasons that made him a cliched fallen star, oblivious to his annoyance.

"So far, I don't like you very much," he said, as soon as she stopped talking.

Dez snickered. "Don't worry, no one likes her."

"Shut up, Coppertop," snapped back Trish.

"You shut up, _Patricia_. You're upsetting my friend."

"Didn't think Austin Moon would be so touchy."

"I'm not touchy," protested Austin.

"Then you should be able to face the truth."

He didn't answer, just gritted his teeth and focused his gaze elsewhere. Ally was still writing on the other side of the pool, while a couple more patients had shown up and were already taking their seats at the dinner table. Dez had been right, most of them were adults. The only other teenager was a tall, thin girl with blond, wavy hair, who smiled and waved in their direction as soon as she spotted them. Dez got up almost immediately.

"Excuse me, love calls," he sang, before walking towards the girl.

"Who is she?" asked Austin, as soon as he was far enough.

"Carrie, his girlfriend. She's an outpatient but she usually stays for collective dinners, which are twice a week. It's the only time they can spend together without him having to sneak out," explained Trish.

Austin watched the couple meet and Dez picking her up and spinning her around. They both looked much too happy to be in rehab.

"The doctors have no problem with relationships between patients?" he asked, curious.

"They don't with theirs because she doesn't live here. They probably wouldn't be too keen on two living patients hooking up, especially two teenagers. Boys and girls under twenty-one can't be in the same room together with the door closed. There's not really a rule for adults, but I guess it's never really been an issue with them, since they're almost all married and too busy to think about the work they're missing to think about sex."

"Got it."

"Dinner is being served, everybody!" called Tina the nurse from the table.

Austin and Trish stood up and headed towards her and, from the corner of his eye, he noticed Ally was doing the same. They took place next to Carrie and Dez, while Austin counted twenty chairs around the table.

"Is everyone a patient?" he asked.

"No, we're about sixteen patients, plus four shrinks. The nursing staff and maintenance people have dinner later in the staff lounge," answered Trish.

Austin looked around, but he couldn't really tell at first glance the patients apart from the psychiatrists. Everybody seemed pretty relaxed, with a couple of small exceptions, like Ally for example, and himself.

"Guys, I'd like to introduce Austin to you. He got here this afternoon and is just starting to settle in, I hope you'll do your best to make him feel at home," announced a dark haired, 50-something woman, resting her hands on his shoulders. She must have been one of the therapists.

"Austin, I'm doctor Friedman, and those are doctor Hale, doctor Collins and doctor Jensen," she went on to introduce each patient, and Austin quickly gave up on remembering everybody's name, and just smiled mechanically at each face. When she got to Ally, the girl nodded in his direction and returned his smile briefly, before being distracted by doctor Hale touching her arm and whispering something quietly in her ear. She nodded and offered him a sheepish smile, before turning her attention back to the food on her plate.

Austin did the same, and his mouth started to water at the sight of the magnificent crab cake composition. The smell was delicious.

* * *

He didn't get to talk to Ally until later that same evening. After most of the patients had gone back inside for either evening meditation or to the peace and quiet of their rooms. Austin had stayed behind, enjoying the tepid dusk air as he quietly walked along the border of the pool. He could hear a few crickets chirping from the patch of grass at the end of the yard, mixed with the gurgling sound of the pool filter.

Ally was again sitting on one of the deck chairs, her book opened in her lap but not writing, instead softly biting the end of her pen, while staring absorbedly at the white page. He approached her slowly and casually sat on the chair next to hers.

"Hey," he said. "Ally, right? I'm Austin."

She looked at him with big, wondering, brown eyes that he noticed for the first time. She didn't return his smile, this time. "Hi," she said, simply.

"You don't have any activity you have to attend?" he asked, hoping to get a conversation going.

"Not tonight."

"Cool, me neither."

"I figured, since it's your first day."

She stared at him until he felt uncomfortable, and in a spurt of annoyance he decided to make her uncomfortable as well.

"Why don't you hang around with anyone?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows. "Why do you care?"

"It just seems odd. Why not take advantage of the fact there are actually people our age here? Trish and Dez are nice."

"Trish is not nice," pointed out Ally, "and Dez is a bit weird."

Austin laughed, despite himself. "Maybe you're right. But hey, you and I can be friends," he proposed, feeling a bit pathetic right after. He sounded like a little boy on his first day of school.

She narrowed her eyes at him for a few seconds. "Why would I wanna be friends with you?"

"I'm famous, funny, and handsome."

Ally didn't seem to catch on to the joking tone at first, but eventually she smiled.

"How could I ever pass that up?" she asked, ironically.

"You tell me," sighed Austin.

"I guess I'll think about it," she concluded with a shrug.

He laughed. "That's all I ask."

She smiled again, then closed her book and stood up. "I'll see you around, Austin," she said, before walking away.

As he turned around to watch her leave, he realized that his heart was oddly beating faster than usual. He smiled to himself, deciding not to think about it just yet.

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_I'd love to know what you think so far, please review!_

_xx emoeses_


	3. day two

_Hi!  
So since I've decided to keep the chapters pretty short and I already have fourteen chapters down, I've decided to update twice a week. It's gonna be Tuesdays and Fridays, unless something happens that makes me update a day early or late. I'm on vacation now and pretty close to the end of the story, so I should be able to keep this rate up (fingers crossed that I don't have to slow it down)._

_As usual, thanks for your support. Every single review I get inspires me to keep writing and seriously puts to test my ability to restrain myself from updating earlier. I hope you'll continue to like this story._

* * *

_**day two**_

Austin stared at his therapist for a while without either of them saying anything. Doctor Hale had longish, dark hair and native american features, almond shaped dark eyes and a dark complexion. He didn't really look like a real life doctor, more like something out of _Grey's Anatomy_: young, attractive, and smiling a bit too much.

Both Dez and Trish, however, had only spoken good of him, telling Austin how jealous they were, because doctor Hale was the absolute best.

They had first approached him right after morning meditation.

"Who did you get?" had Dez asked eagerly, referring to the schedule Austin had received from one of the nurses at the beginning of the hour.

"What?"

"Which shrink?"

"Oh, um—Hale."

"You got Patrick? You're so lucky, man!"

However now, sitting in awkward silence ten minutes into his first session, Austin didn't really get what was so special about doctor Patrick Hale.

"You're not gonna ask me any questions?" he wondered eventually, his confusion apparent in his tone.

"You look uncomfortable," said doctor Hale, ignoring his question.

"I'm fine," answered Austin, defensively.

"Are you settling in okay?"

"I guess," he shrugged, still a bit weary of the calm tone of his therapist.

"So, why don't you tell me why you're here," suggested doctor Hale.

"Isn't that in my file?" pointed out Austin, his eyes resting on the closed folder resting on the desk.

"I haven't read your file yet," he admitted, "I wanted to meet you in person, first."

Austin studied the man for a while, eyes narrow and eyebrows knit together. He couldn't figure out if he was genuinely interested in him, or if he honestly didn't give a shit.

"Alcohol and drug abuse," he answered mechanically, not even thinking about it.

Doctor Hale nodded. "You seem pretty young," he observed.

"Yeah, so do you."

He smiled. "I'm thirty-four" he told him. "But they do tell me I have the skin of a twenty-five year old," he joked.

Austin didn't even try to hide his skepticism. "Alright," he said, carefully.

"How old are you, Austin?"

"Nineteen."

"So you're not legal, yet."

"You don't need to be if you're a celebrity."

Doctor Hale raised his eyebrows at the bluntness in his expression. He nodded.

"You don't seem very concerned with your condition," he noticed.

"I'm not," agreed Austin. "I'm not an addict. Haven't drunk anything for three days and I'm fine."

"Just because your body isn't showing withdrawal symptoms, it doesn't mean your mind is not wishing for alcohol."

"And what if it is? According to the law in most countries in the world, it's okay for me to drink at my age. I'm not drunk all the time and, contrary to what most people think, I have control over what I do. I'm not a baby," he protested.

Doctor Hale seemed to agree. "No, you're not."

"You wanna know why I'm here? It's because everybody thinks I'm on my way to become some sort of fallen celebrity. That I'm following the Lohan and Bieber path. That's not what's happening, everyone's just overreacting."

"So you don't think you have a problem?"

"No, I'm fine."

Austin sighed and pushed two fingers against his temple. He was so tired of no one believing him, it was driving him insane. He could see it again, in his therapist's eyes: he didn't think he was fine, but Austin felt too tired to try and convince him otherwise. He was already stuck in there, after all, things couldn't get much worse.

He went back to staring at doctor Hale, who was now writing notes on an office pad. He seemed as relaxed as he'd been at the beginning of the section, completely unfazed by Austin's rants. From his seat across from him, he couldn't read anything of what he was scribbling down, but he could tell his handwriting was neat. The image made him think back of the pool girl, Ally, and how concentrated she had been writing in her book the previous night.

"Are you Ally Dawson's therapist?"

The question seemed to trigger doctor Hale's curiosity enough for him to stop what he was doing. "No, doctor Friedman works with Miss Dawson," he answered, slowly. "Why do you ask?"

"I saw you talking to her at dinner, yesterday," said Austin.

Doctor Hale remained quiet for a second, then he put down his pen and adjusted his posture. "I've known her since she was ten. I was a friend of her mother's."

"Is that why you're not her therapist? Because you're a family friend?"

"Yes, but also because doctor Friedman has much better expertise when it comes to Ally's issues."

"Oh," said Austin, nodding slightly.

"Why so interested in Miss Dawson?" asked doctor Hale, his eyebrows tilted upwards.

"I don't know. She seems sad," said Austin simply, looking down.

Doctor Hale sent him an inquisitive look, but didn't add anything else on the matter. They spent another couple of minutes in silence, before going back to talking about Austin's situation.

* * *

His phone rang unexpectedly that night after dinner. Dez was still working on his screenplay from his bed and he hardly looked up but, after a glance at the caller ID, Austin decided it would be best to take the call outside. He answered as soon as he got to the hallway.

"Kira, hi," he greeted in a hush tone.

Cellphones were admitted, the only restriction being that they had to be turned off from 10am to 5pm during treatment hours, but he still felt wary of using it so openly.

"You're all over the news," said Kira, quietly as well, though he didn't know why.

"I am?" he asked, not quite sure on how to react.

"It's mostly good things, all about how relieved everyone is that you're finally getting help," she continued. Austin bit the inside of his cheek, trying to ignore his annoyance. "Daddy's being interviewed by _E!_ _Entertainment News_ right now."

"What does he think about all of this?"

"He said it's gonna be good both for sales and your image. He's still mad, though... he'd freak out if he knew the rumors about us are actually true."

He sighed. Jimmy Starr wouldn't have liked his daughter dating _any_ popstar, and the fact alone that she was rumored to be romantically linked to trouble star Austin Moon angered him so much, that the two of them wouldn't have dreamt of confirming their relationship. Austin would've ended up murdered after not even a day.

"I miss you," he said, hoping to change the subject.

He was now walking down the stairs into the foyer, where a couple of patients where playing cards and Trish was watching TV. He made his way to the first door he saw, hoping to find a more private space.

"I miss you too," sighed Kira. "Why do things have to be so complicated all the time?"

Austin found himself in a long hallway. A little sign indicated to his left to be the massage and acupuncture rooms, while a plaque on the door in front of him read "_Music & Art Therapy_."

"I know... I wish I could make it better, babe. I really do."

Silence met him from the other end. He waited for a response, but only heard her sigh again.

"What?" he asked.

"It's just—do you really, Austin? It feels to me that you just keep making things even more difficult for me," she complained.

He blinked, stunned. "What the fuck, Kira."

"Come on, Austin! Did you really have to take it this far? I mean, I'm happy you're getting help now, but you could've at least _tried_ not to get to this point."

"You were right there next to me every single fucking time!" he spat back, now not all that worried about people hearing. "Whatever I was doing, you were doing it with me!"

"_I _never threatened that dancer. And _I_ never punched any paparazzi."

Austin felt the urge to throw his phone against the wall.

"Whatever, Austin. We'll talk about it when you get out," she cut him off, before he could answer.

"Why not now?"

"I have to go, Trent is waiting for me downstairs."

"Trent as in T-Fame? What the fuck are you doing going out with my best friend?"

"Chill out, Austin. He's my ride to Kylie's party. Not that it's any of your business."

"I'm your boyfriend, Kira!" he yelled.

"Then trust me, nothing's gonna happen. I'll call you back tomorrow, okay?" her voice seemed a little more soft now, but he wondered if it was just because she felt guilty.

"Bye," he said dryly, then ended the call and dropped the phone in his pocket, his wrists clenched painfully. Now more than ever, that place seemed like a prison.

He waited until his breaths evened out before turning to go back to his room, when a melody caught his ear. It came from the Music and Art Therapy room, and he didn't even think about pushing the door open and walking in to find out who was playing.

Ally Dawson sat at the grand piano at the end of the room, her book opened on the stand, hands moving fast and surely on the keys. He didn't know what she was playing, but it sounded incredibly beautiful, so much so that soon enough he felt goosebumps on his skin. He stared at her, oblivious of his entrance, focused on what she was playing, a small smile coloring her expression.

He approached slowly, as if he was nearing a rare type of bird, afraid he would scare her away, entranced by her music. She kept not noticing him until the song was done, when she picked up a pencil to note something in her book, caught him standing five feet from her and gasped, pressing a hand against her chest.

"You almost scared me to death," she told him, glaring.

"Sorry," he answered, though he wasn't really. "You play beautifully," he added right after.

She gave him a hesitant look. "Thanks."

"Did you write that?" he asked, pointing at her book.

She snapped it close so fast he almost didn't notice, then she stood up.

"Curfew is in twenty minutes," she said, sharply, then she nudged him aside and walked past him towards the door.

Again, he watched her leave, his lips parted, mouth full of words he hadn't had time to say.

* * *

_Review if you'd like, I sure would like you to._

_xx emoeses_

_Ps- Happy July 4th to all the Americans!_


	4. day five (part 1)

_Hi guys!_

_It's Tuesday, so here's chapter 4! It's kind of a prologue for chapter 5, really, where juicy stuff is gonna start happening (and that's all I'm gonna spoil)._

_So yeah, not much to say besides thanking everyone who follows this story, but most of all the people who review. Thanks for the encouraging comments, I hope you continue liking this story._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

_**day five (part 1)**_

Austin quickly realized that the daily therapy sessions with Patrick were the most interesting part of his schedule. Group therapy made him uncomfortable to no end. He never knew what to say and his group lacked anyone with an interesting story. He would've preferred having it with Dez, Trish and Ally, just because it would've been a way to find out more about them. He doubted that Ally would say anything at all during the sessions though, and he already knew way too much about Trish, while Dez and his whimsical ways continued to be a mystery. Meditation was even worse, because he was just left alone with his thoughts, and never could find a way to relax. Art therapy wasn't bad, but not very exciting either.

Since their encounter in the music room, Austin had looked for occasions to talk to Ally, but hadn't found many. She never gave him much to work with when they talked, offering monosyllabic answers and weirded out looks. He did however think that she was starting to warm up to him, and had heard from Trish that she seemed more relaxed when she was hanging out with her as well, talking more and putting her book down a bit more often. He liked to think that he was helping her making progress, that his stay there could be helpful at least to her. According to Patrick, he still had a lot of work to do on himself, work that he didn't feel like doing at all.

"I won't hesitate to prolong your stay here, if you keep avoiding to face your problems this way," he'd told him that morning during therapy. Austin had just sighed and rolled his eyes.

He really didn't understand what he wanted from him, so he'd just started talking about Kira. He'd explained how he could hear her resentment when they talked every night, and how much it pissed him off that she was mad at him, since he was the one stuck in rehab, not her. Patrick had seemed pleased enough at the end of the session, and Austin himself had walked out a little more relieved. He had found Ally outside, sitting on the edge of the pool, earbuds in her ears and her book resting right next to her. Since it was Saturday, therapy was their only obligation for the day.

"Hey," he greeted, knocking on her shoulder to get her attention as he sat down next to her.

He sinked his feet into the cool water and whistled his relief.

"Hi," she said back, taking out one of the earbuds.

"What are you listening to?" he asked.

"You," she said simply, with a smile.

He felt his cheek warm up and cleared his voice, trying to get his cool back.

"How was therapy?" she asked, little after.

"Patrick told me I'm going nowhere, so I hit him with some girlfriend drama."  
"Nice move," she winked.

She was wearing a white, buttoned sundress, red bikini strings popping out from the neckline, while her hair was up in a high ponytail. She looked happier than usual and, though he couldn't really tell why, he was glad. The more time he spent with her, the more he found himself worrying about her. She'd never told him anything personal, he still had no idea why exactly she was in rehab, nor how long she was supposed to stay.

"Is anyone coming to see you this weekend?" he asked.

"Nope. You?"

"No."

"You look like you're happy about that," she noticed, tilting her head slightly to the left as if to get a better look at his expression.

"I don't feel like seeing anyone," he admitted.

"Not even your girlfriend?"

"Especially her. She's been acting like a spoiled brat," he growled.

"Don't be mean, I'm sure she's worried about you."

Austin didn't answer, instead he turned to stare at her, a funny expression coloring his face. "What's up with you, today? You're usually a big, moody grouch."

She shot him a dirty look before giggling. "I was thinking back on your first day, when you asked me to be friends," she explained. "And I guess that wouldn't be so bad. Trish and Dez seem nice as well."

Austin smiled brightly and, without thinking about it, took her hand in his, startling her a little. He watched her cheeks turn red as she locked her eyes in his, and it felt as if he was looking at her for the first time. He could see how scared she was of the world, and he could see the sadness that hadn't quite left her yet. Her smile was beautiful, entrancing, and he chose to focus on that and on the fact that he'd been the one to put it on her lips. He felt his heart drum against his chest too hard, as he was hit with emotions he wasn't quite ready to understand yet. He decided to cast them all aside once more, because he knew that it wasn't the time nor the place. He had a girlfriend, a career to worry about, and she needed to get healthy again, probably had a life of her own to piece back together. For the first time since he'd gotten there though, rehab didn't feel like a place with no escape. For the first time in a long time, he felt hope.

"Hi guys!" greeted Dez, sitting down next to Austin.

He dropped Ally's hand immediately and felt his cheeks burn, as he focused his attention on the water.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing, we were just hanging out," answered Austin casually.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all. Care for a swim?"

"Dude, you read my mind."

They both got up and took their shirts off, abandoning them on the deck chairs, then Austin jumped in, his roommate following close behind. The water splashing hit both Ally, who hurried to grab her book to put it to safety, and Trish, who'd been just walking by.

"YOU JERKS!" she yelled, just as the guys came back to surface. "Diving is forbidden!" she reminded them, furious.

Austin looked around and shrugged. "Nobody saw," he pointed out.

Trish grumbled a few more insults, but thankfully got distracted by Ally, offering her a towel.

"Thanks," she said, with a hesitant smile.

"No problem. I'm gonna jump in too, wanna come?"

Trish glanced at the water. "I think I'm just gonna stay here, work on my tan," she decided.

"Alright."

Austin watched Ally put her book and iPod into her bag, then pull her sundress off over her head. The red of her bikini suited her nicely, and Austin couldn't help the impure thoughts that formed into his mind. He dove into the water, trying to shake them off. When he emerged, Ally was halfway down the steps and water had reached her belly button. He swam closer to her, splashing water around on purpose.

"Com'on, dunk! It's much better than going in an inch every minute," he teased.

She stuck her tongue out to him, and he hugged her in retaliation, laughing when he heard her squeal.

"You're freezing! How can the water be so cold? It's like a 100 degrees outside!" she yelped, trying to escape from him.

Instead of letting her go right away, he threw himself back into the water, pulling her down with him. He let go as soon as her whole body was wet, and when he came back up she splashed water in his face.

"That was rude!" she complained, unable to hide a smile.

"Sorry," he shrugged.

He hadn't realized how close they actually were, until he noticed that she had to tilt her head back to look him in the eyes. He was actually glad when Dez grabbed his ankles from underwater, causing him to lose his balance and fall. He could hear Ally's laughter even while still under.

"That's what you get for bugging a lady," Dez warned him as he emerged, and he spit pool water in his face, causing the lady in question to burst into another fit of giggles.

"Keep it down, you three! This is a place of cure!" yelled Trish from her chair.

The three looked at each other, still snickering. The day was actually shaping up pretty well.

* * *

They spent the whole afternoon outside, splitting their time between swimming and lying in the sun. When they had dinner, the tips of their hair were still wet, and they could feel tiredness seep through their arts. The food was delicious as always and they enjoyed it till the last bite, chatting among themselves about unimportant things. No one mentioned their addiction issues, no one made comments about therapy, doctors, or their family and friends outside of the facility. They told stories about their childhood, talked about their favorite bands, books and movies. Ally was not as talkative as Trish or Dez, who spent twenty minutes discussing why _Zaliens 3_ was the best Zalien movie, but she still participated with observations and anecdotes of her own, sometimes even offering little jokes. Austin did his best not to stare at her all night long, trying to ignore the feelings that were making his heart beat faster and gave a hard time to his attention span. He had a girlfriend, he'd known Ally for less than a week and had spent very little time alone with her. He was drawn to her because she was pretty and he and Kira were going through a rough patch, and that was all.

After a few very long games of rummy and a small _Mancala_ tournament, Trish stretched and theatrically stifled a yawn.

"Curfew is in thirty minutes," she reminded them. "I think I'm gonna head upstairs."

"Oh, I have to call Carrie," said Dez, in the middle of putting the game back in its cardboard box.

"Ally, are you coming too?"

"Sure, go ahead though. I'll return the cards to Maria and be right there."

"I'll come with you," announced Austin, without taking time to think about it.

Trish bid the boys goodnight and headed inside, while Dez left shortly after, phone already pressed against his ear. Ally looked at Austin.

"Let's go," she smiled, taking her bag and the deck of cards.

They stopped at the nurse station and chatted with Maria for a few minutes, then Austin offered to walk Ally to her room and she nodded, blushing slightly. The walk upstairs was short and awkwardly silent, but still he didn't feel like saying goodnight once they'd reached her destination.

"I had a good time today," he told her, smiling brightly.

"Me too," she said back.

He knew he was probably making her uncomfortable, but couldn't look away from her. He felt as if something was drawing them together.

"So, have you broken any rules since you got here?" she asked. The question sounded weirdly random, and Austin frowned.

"No, why?"

She didn't add an explanation, instead she grabbed his wrist and pulled him toward the small, seldom used elevator at the end of the hallway.

"Where are we going?" he asked, even more confused.

"Just trust me," she whispered as only answer.

He looked at her and he realized that, even though he didn't know exactly why, he did trust her.

* * *

_Little cliffhanger, but don't worry, I will post chapter 5 on Friday._

_Please review in the meantime! I always love to read what you think about the story._

_xx emoeses_


	5. day five (part 2)

**Notes: **I'm a day late! So sorry, yesterday I procrastinated thinking I would have time in the evening, but then I went out and came back past 1am, so I'm updating now.

**Warning: **This chapter is like 80% smut so read at your own risk.

* * *

_**day five (part 2)**_

The elevator went up two floors and came to a stop, the door opening with a loud _ding_.

"Can we even be up here?" asked Austin, looking around.

His tour of the facility on his first day hadn't included this floor and he had no idea what could be behind the few white doors in the short hallway.

"Not really," answered Ally.

He'd imagined as much, but her nonchalance took him aback.

"Um, okay," he said, a bit disoriented, as she took his wrist and guided him towards one of the doors. It looked like she knew were she was going, so much so that he wondered if perhaps she'd been there before. She'd never struck him as the rebellious type, being so quiet and reserved all the time.

Austin could only gather a few details of the room they walked in before Ally shut the door and darkness engulfed them. There were a single double bed, a desk and a small closet, and it looked empty of any personal belongings.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"It's one of the single rooms," she explained. While he gradually got used to the lack of light he was barely able to discern her features, but her big, dirt eyes shined brightly, and he found himself unable to look away from them as she neared him. "It's unoccupied," she added, her voice a bit quieter.

"Why are we here?" he wondered then, his voice trembling enough to make him curse himself and his sudden inability to keep his cool.

She didn't answer this time, instead she got even closer and put a hand on his chest. He looked down at it out of instinct, to then search her eyes again, surprised, and finding her face just inches from his. He felt pain under his ribcage, so much that he worried maybe his heart had stopped, until he realized that it was just anticipation. Her lips looked soft and warm, and as she pressed her body against his he could feel her own want of him. He didn't move though, not until she closed the distance between them, putting her other hand on his shoulder to draw him down towards her shorter self.

She kissed him lightly and timidly, as if she was trying for the first time a food she was't sure she'd like. For a moment he hoped that she would come back for more right away, but after a few seconds she let him go and took a step back, her eyes still alertly on his.

"Why'd you do that?" he breathed.

"You've been looking at me like this all day," she answered, just as quietly.

"Like what?"

"Like you want me."

He gulped, his mind blank of any possible thing to say. He tried to think back to the afternoon they'd spent together, but weirdly enough none of it came to mind. He was too distracted by her presence, her taste still on his lips, that way she was staring at him expectantly, waiting for an answer, some sort of acknowledgment of what she'd just told him.

But all he wanted to do was kiss her again, so he did. He took her face between his hands and crushed his mouth on hers eagerly, _hungrily._ She took a fistful of his shirt and let out a small whimper, as her tongue grazed his lip and he drew her even closer.

_He did want her,_ irrationally so.

He let his hands slide from her cheeks to her neck, one dipping into her hair and the other going further down to grab her hip. He could feel the outline of her bikini bottom under the fabric of her sundress. She explored as well, sneaking a hand under the hem on his tee shirt and tracing a light pattern along his abdomen. He felt goosebumps form on his arms at her faint, cold touch and his lips left hers to peck her chin, her neck. She sighed and, a second later, was pulling at his shirt, urging him in a whisper to take it off.

"What?" he blinked, too hazy from the heat of the kiss to actually elaborate her request.

"Off," she repeated, and yanked the material upwards, stepping back to give him room to raise his arms.

Ally took the shirt from his hands and let if fall on the ground, before putting her arms on his shoulders and start leaving hot, open mouthed kisses on his neck. Austin felt his pants tighten uncomfortably, still too much in shock to think about responding. She started pushing him backwards, towards the bed, and he tried to make a sense of what was happening, to clean up the mess of thoughts flooding his head.

"Ally," he called, his voice sounding distant even to him.

Not before long, the back of his knees hit the bed and he sat down, as she stepped back once again. She took a hold of the hem of her dress and pulled it off in one, smooth movement, before kissing him again, deeply enough to take his breath away.

"Ally," he tried one more time, against her mouth. The image of her half naked body haunted his vision.

"What?" she asked in a pant, distancing herself just enough to be able to talk freely.

"What are you doing?"

"You don't catch up very fast, do you?" she asked ironically, the hint of a smirk curving her lips.

"I just—I have a girlfriend," he blurted.

She paused for a second, locking her eyes into his and staring intensely.

"Do you want to stop?" she asked, serious.

"No," he answered, this time without thinking. "I don't want to stop."

He should've felt incredibly guilty, but he didn't. Kira wasn't there, and Ally was—well—_everything_ in that moment. Everything he wanted, everything he needed. She kissed him again, this time slower and sensually. He nudged her forward until she was straddling his lap and let his hands slide down her sides, his thumbs following the path of her iliac crests as the rest of his fingers slipped under the elastic of her bikini. He could feel her breaths getting heavier and she inhaled sharply when he guided her hips against his. He could feel her warmth through the fabric of his bermuda pants and it drove him insane.

She started trailing kisses along his jaw and her hands unhooked from the nape of his neck to rest on his chest. She pushed him down, so that he was lying on the bed with her on top of him, lips now exploring his neck and sliding down to his collarbone and chest. Soon enough, she licked his nipple, and he sinked his head into the mattress.

"Fuck," he gasped, and he swore he could feel her lips forming a smile.

He took a hold of her hips and switched their position, pinning her arms above her head with one hand while he untied the strings of her bikini with the other. He tossed the garment aside and took a moment to look at her naked breasts. There was a tiny birthmark just under her left nipple, barely visible in the dark, and he kissed her there first. She sighed, and he let go of her wrists to take her other breast into his hand, squeezing just hard enough to get a moan out of her.

"Austin," she called, her voice higher pitched than usual.

He didn't stop, too busy placing kisses on every inch of her. Her skin tasted like chlorine from the pool, but there was something else, too. A sweet flavor that made him insatiable, that made him want to keep coming for more.

"Austin," she said again, "I need you inside me, _now_."

He came up to kiss her lips, briefly. "I don't have a condom," he told her, mentally cursing the situation. Not that he could've predicted this in any way, but still. He really did not want to stop.

"I have one," she said. "Look into my bag, there should be one in one of the inside pockets."

He got up and followed her instruction. Soon enough, his fingers closed on the squared plastic wrapper and he gave her a funny look.

"Why do you have a condom in—"

"_Austin_," she cut him off, "Do you wanna stand there and ask questions or do you wanna come here and fuck me?"

"Fair enough."

He took off his pants and started fiddling with the rubber. From the corner of his eye he saw her getting up as well and drop her bikini bottom on the floor. It was probably then that he really came to the realization of what they were about to do. Not just the physical act, but the cheating and breaking the rules. His hands were shaking slightly as he approached her again. She greeted him with a long, lustful kiss, before lying down on the bed once again. He positioned himself over her, careful not to crush her, and kissed her eyebrow and eyelid, her cheekbone and earlobe. She sighed and he felt her breath against his skin.

"Do you really want this?" he murmured into her ear.

She nodded. "Yes, _please_."

There was something weird in the urgency of her tone. Something that made him worry for a second that sex wasn't just not the best idea, but a wrong decision. He didn't know why she wanted this, why she wanted him, he hardly knew why he wanted her. But she was already aligning him to her entrance, and before he could ponder on anything else he was inside her and his thoughts were getting hazy. She drew him into another kiss as he started moving.

It was like he hadn't even been aware of his arousal before he felt her around him, hot and tight, and after that he couldn't really concentrate on anything but the sensation of filling her, the moans she tried to hold back, her nails digging into his sides, scratching his back.

It wasn't love making, it was fast and erratic. It wasn't just fucking, either. It was intense, emotional. There was a moment when her face left his neck and fell back into the pillows and their eyes met, and he stopped moving for a second to push her hair away from her forehead, and she blushed and kissed him passionately, whimpering into his mouth when he started thrusting inside her once again.

As they came closer to their release, he noticed that she had to try much harder to keep quiet, and he himself had to grit his teeth to avoid grunting. A thin layer of sweat had formed on both their bodies, making her skin saltier when he kissed her collarbone. He started sucking on her neck, causing a louder moan to escape her. She put a hand over her mouth, but that did little to help when he started massaging her clit with one hand, the other firm on her ass to keep her steady.

"God, _Austin_," she cried, and he kissed her lips, swallowing her moans and harsh breaths as she came, her back arched and toes curled, her hands pulling his hair hard enough to hurt him.

Her walls clenching around him quickly pushed him over the edge as well. He climaxed with her name on his lips, his fingers digging into the skin of her thighs. A few seconds later, he was lying next to her, panting.

"Fuck," he cursed.

"That was good," she said, sounding out of breath herself.

"Yeah," he agreed, smirking a little.

She got up first to pick up her clothes and he watched her doing so shamelessly. She stuck her bathing suit into her bag and put her dress back on without worrying about wearing anything underneath. Then she stopped in front of the mirror to fix her hair.

Austin got up as well and headed for the bathroom to dispose of the condom. He took a few minutes to stare at his reflection, and found nothing particularly different. Messy blond strands shooting up in every direction, brown eyes, tanned skin. Sweat coated his forehead and he washed his face with cold water, hoping to clear his head enough to start to make sense of what had just happened.

When he came out of the bathroom, Ally was gone.

* * *

**More notes: **That was the first sex scene I ever wrote. Hopefully it wasn't _too _awkward.

Please let me know what you think! I love all of your support, you guys are so great!

xx emoeses


	6. day six

**Notes: **Hello! It's a few more minutes to midnight here in Italy so I consider myself on time :P

Before I leave you with chapter six I would like to take a moment to thank all of you for your wonderful reviews and continuous support. It makes me so happy that you actually like this story! Also, specifically to _robbersandcats, _I really, really appreciate your comments about the lack of accuracy. As I've said, I've never personally been to rehab, and my biggest fear posting this fix was that I would certainly get things horribly wrong and possibly displease people who have actually gone through the experience. I based the clinic this fanfiction is set in on a luxury rehab in Palm Beach. According to its website, most of their patients are businessmen and some famous athletes, and one of the special things about it was that they allow patients to keep phones and laptops, as long as they're turned off during treatment hours (from morning till mid afternoon, more or less). Also the descriptions of the spaces are based on pictures. That said, I perfectly understand your criticism and I will try to correct a few things as the story continues. Thank you for pointing these things out, and I really hope you'll continue reading nonetheless, but most of all that I didn't in some way offend you. It was truly not my intention.

But I've been yapping too much, as always. Here we go!

* * *

_**day six**_

The first thing he did when he walked into the foyer for breakfast was look for Ally. She was sitting at the dining table across from Trish, an untouched croissant in front of her while she wrote in her book, as usual. Dez made his way to the breakfast buffet without any comment, but Austin wasn't particularly hungry, so he just headed for the table.

"Hi," he said in a low voice, sitting down next to her.

Her pen stopped its cruise along the page as she looked up at him. "Hi," she said back with a serene smile.

Austin sneaked a peek at Trish, who was spreading cream cheese on a plain bagel and staring at them suspiciously.

He cleared his voice and fixed his stance. "Hey, Trish," he greeted, hoping to sound natural.

"Austin," she nodded in his direction.

Dez took place next to her a second later, setting down a plate full of eggs and sausages that made her nose wrinkle.

"How can you eat all of that at eight in the morning?" she asked, a little disgusted.

"Hey, this is my fuel. Without a big breakfast, I can't function properly," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Who says you _ever_ function properly?" snorted Trish.

Ally giggled, turning her attention back on her book. Austin poked her side.

"Mh?" she looked up again.

"Can we talk?" he asked, very quietly, sending her an eager look.

"Yeah, sure," she agreed casually, and finally put her pen down.

"Morning, Ally," cut in a deep voice from behind him, before he could get up and lead her outside. He turned around to see Patrick, looking at Ally tenderly. "Are you gonna eat that?" he pointed at the croissant.

"Sure, right after I talk to Austin," she put on a fake smile.

"Alright," he looked wary, but didn't add anything. "I'll see you guys around, enjoy your breakfast."

"Bye, Patrick," said Trish distractedly. She'd pulled a magazine from her beach bag and was flipping through it intently.

Austin and Ally watched Patrick walk towards the buffet to interact with other patients. She rolled her eyes a few seconds after he was gone.

"He treats me like a freaking _child_," she grumbled.

"He's probably just worried about you," pointed out Dez.

"Whatever," she sighed. "What did you wanna talk about?" she asked shortly after, looking at Austin.

He looked at Dez, nervously. "I was hoping we could be alone," he admitted.

"Is this about last night?"

"HAH! I knew you were with her!" exclaimed Dez, a little too loud for Austin's taste.

"Keep it down, will ya?" he barked.

Trish, in the meantime, had looked up as well. "Well, _duh. _Who else could he have been with?" she pointed out to Dez, ignoring Austin's annoyance.

"I don't know, he could've just been talking to his girlfriend."

"Wait, you have a girl—_ohmygod_, it's Kira Starr, isn't it?"

Austin groaned, palming his face. The situation was getting more fucked up by the second.

"Yes, it is," answered Dez for him, completely ignoring the death glare that followed.

"_No way_," laughed Trish. "You're screwing around with the daughter of the owner of your record label?"

"Not 'screwing around'," he protested, "_dating_."

"And you're cheating on her with Ally?" asked Dez, his expression a mix of surprise and amusement.

"Nothing happened between Ally and me," he hissed.

"Then what were you two doing together after curfew?" cut in a very skeptical Trish.

"Just talking," said Ally calmly, before he could answer.

Trish and Dez looked at each other, then looked at their respective roommates. It was clear they didn't really believe them, but just as clear that neither of them was gonna confess to anything any time soon. They both shrugged and went back to their breakfast.

Ally stood up, snapping her book shut, then gestured at Austin to follow her outside.

The air was still cool, filled with the gurgling noise of the pool's filter and the distant buzz of a lawnmower being used somewhere on the property. A few birds were chirping and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was clear it was gonna be a hot day.

Ally smiled at him and took a few steps towards the pool, stretching her arms out and breathing in the ocean breeze. She was wearing a yellow, sleeveless top tucked in a high waisted floral skirt, hair left in loose waves that fell on her back. She seemed relaxed, not a tenth as messed up as he felt.

"So?" she urged, dropping on one of the lawn chair.

Austin dipped his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. "So," he took his time, not quite sure how to voice his thoughts. "Last night was interesting," he said casually, taking a few steps towards her.

"_Definitely_," she giggled, sounding somewhat satisfied.

Austin looked at her, perplexed. He wanted to ask what it meant, but didn't want so sound like some insecure little girl. He was half hoping that she would just explain herself without him having to wonder about her intentions out loud, but she kept looking at him expectantly.

"Do you think it's gonna happen again?" he eventually asked.

"I hope so," she smirked. "Do you?"

He felt his pulse accelerate just thinking about it. He'd spent the night dreaming about her touch, her lips, her smile, and her voice calling his name. It haunted him still, as he tried to keep his cool whilst looking in her eyes.

"Me too," he said, his voice sounding lower than usual. "But what would that make us?"

She shrugged. "Friends?" she proposed.

Austin let out a nervous laugh, taking a few steps towards her to sit down on the chair next to hers.

"I don't usually do _that_ with my friends," he pointed out, scratching the nape of his neck.

She rolled her eyes. "Austin, I like you, and I liked having sex with you. Why do we have to make things more complicated than they should be?" she observed, candidly.

He smiled at her. "Alright."

"Alright," she laughed, then she leaned in to kiss his cheek before standing up. "I'll see you around, Austin Moon," she said, her voice low and seductive.

He dropped against the back of his chair, letting out a long, frustrated breath. He was starting to hate the feeling of watching her walk away.

* * *

Sunday was the only day of the week without therapy, and Austin was looking forward to the blissfulness of not having any plans but chilling poolside with his iPod, when he heard a knock on his door. He stood up from his bed and opened the door, finding Tina the nurse outside.

"You have visitors, Mr. Moon," she announced with a smile.

"What?" he asked, confused. "I thought there had to be a three days notice for that," he protested.

"Doctor Hale approved the request on Wednesday. I guess they wanted to surprise you," she explained, looking a bit surprised of his lack of excitement. "They're waiting for you in the foyer," she added, before excusing herself to go knock at another door.

"Who's 'they'?" asked Austin loudly, as she waited for the patient to respond.

"Your parents," she answered.

Austin groaned, but headed downstairs nonetheless. He'd been talking to his mom every other night since she'd dropped him off in the facility, but hadn't really said a word to his dad since he'd forced him to pack up his stuff to go. He didn't feel like facing either of them, had no idea what he would tell them.

He strolled down the stairs and found them right away sitting on one of the couches, talking to Patrick. They were both nodding at whatever he was telling them, their faces tensed. Austin felt a rush of hatred towards the doctor and his inability to mind his own business. Sure, treating him was his job, but he'd never been asked if it was okay for him to fill in his parents on everything he did. Wasn't there a rule about patient confidentiality?

Once close enough, he cleared his throat.

"Austin!" exclaimed his mother, shooting up from her seat. She pulled him into a tight hug, stroking his hair like she'd done since he was little. "How are you, sweetie?" she asked as she let him go, resting a hand on his cheek.

"I'm fine," he said automatically, sounding almost cold.

He didn't even look at his dad, focusing instead on Patrick getting up as well. "I'll leave you three to hang out. Have a nice day, everybody," he smiled and walked away, his parents thanking him as he did.

"What did he tell you?" questioned Austin, as soon as he was out of earshot.

His mom sent his dad a nervous look, before forcing herself to smile sweetly at his boy. "Just that you've settled in, and you're starting to open up a bit more during therapy," she said, her thumb stroking his cheekbone.

Austin stepped back uncomfortably, not keen on the display of affection.

"Oh," he said, "alright."

"He thinks you'll be able to come back home soon, if you continue on this route," she added, joining her hands over his chest, obviously a little hurt by her son's cold demeanor.

"Doesn't surprise me. I didn't need to come here in the first place," he grunted, speaking lowly.

Both his parents pretended they didn't hear him.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked, annoyed by their discomfort.

"We wanted to see you, sweetie," said Mrs Moon, as if it were obvious, but the tension in her eyes made it clear to Austin that it wasn't just that.

"And?" he demanded, impatiently.

She sighed. "We might not be able to come back before you get out," she told him, sadly. He frowned. "The paparazzi have been storming the house since we've announced your—um—_situation_. We're gonna be staying with your aunt in Pennsylvania until things quiet down," she explained.

Austin clenched his wrists. "Fucking leeches," he muttered under his breath. It wasn't enough they'd got him into that stupid situation, they had to torment his parents as well.

"Austin, language," warned his mother.

He shook his head, angrily.

"We also brought you something," added suddenly Mr Moon, finally standing up.

Only then Austin noticed the guitar case he was holding and his anger seemed to fade away instantly. It was old and worn out, the black leather almost completely covered in old and new stickers. His eyes lit up.

"Betsy!" he called, recognizing his first and favorite guitar.

His parents had bought it for him for his tenth birthday, after bringing him to the local mall's Sonic Boom for him to pick it out. It had been the old clerk to name it, just like he'd done to every guitar in the store. Austin had always thought it was silly, but had kept calling the guitar Betsy nonetheless.

"Doctor Hale said it would be okay for you to have it, as long as you don't play it after curfew and never leave it unguarded when it's outside your room," explained his dad, handing him the case.

Austin pulled out the instrument and stroked the strings nostalgically. He'd missed its warm sound more than his own home.

"Thank you," he said, honestly, looking at both his parents.

They smiled affectionately, and he decided he'd make an effort to be nicer, at least for that day.

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**More notes: **Please keep reviewing! Let me know what you think!

Thanks again for the support, I'll see you Friday!

xx emoeses


	7. day eight

**an: **Wow, it's Friday already! I don't have work tomorrow and I'm going out with friends tonight, so I'm in a pretty good mood, in spite of the fact that I've been going though a bit of a writer's block. Don't worry though, I'm still at least nine chapters ahead and have a pretty clear idea about how I want the story to end, so the updates are not gonna slow down.

This chapter is kind of a filler, a bit more happens in the next one and then there's a big, three part sequence. Also **warning!** smut ahead.

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_**day eight**_

Austin strummed his guitar lightly, trying to make up a melody on the spot. He'd always been horrible at writing songs by himself, but felt Ally's presence at the foot of the bed to be somewhat inspiring. She was looking at him playfully, lying on her stomach, chin resting on her hands and legs rocking up and down. She'd put on his tee shirt with the excuse that her own clothes were too far away, and he hadn't protested one bit.

"You're really in love with that old thing, aren't you?" she asked in a teasing tone.

He looked at her without raising his head, a crooked smile curving his lips. "Yeah, I guess," he answered.

"You're a really good guitar player," she told him, tilting her head.

"Thanks," he laughed.

"I would know, I've been around guitars my whole life," she added.

Austin finally stopped playing to send her a funny look. It was the first reference to her dad's business she'd made since he'd met her.

"What?" she asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing," he shook his head, and went back to picking at the strings.

"Do you always play for the girls you sleep with?" she asked, after a while.

"Nope," he answered. "Do you ever play piano for the guys you sleep with?"

"I don't play piano for anyone ever. I have stage fright," she said, shrugging.

He stopped playing again. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

He stared at her wordlessly. He couldn't imagine having a talent like hers and be too afraid not to keep it hidden. For him, performing had always been the best part of his job.

"Stop looking at me like that," she protested, after a while.

"I'm not looking at you in any way."

"Yes, you are. You're pitying me, and I would very much like you to stop, thank you."

She sat up and used the elastic band around her wrist to put her hair up in a messy bun, without looking at him. He didn't say anything, but kept watching her every move, trying hard not convey any emotion that would upset her further. When she was done, she crawled towards him and gently took Betsy from his hands to settle it down next to the bed. Then she kissed him, slowly and deeply.

It was the third time they'd met in secret and the first time they had before curfew. It was right after dinner, and most of the patients were taking part in the evening tennis tournament the nurses had organized. Dez had to defend his title, and Austin had stayed behind with an excuse and waited for Ally to come visit him instead. For the first time, she hadn't run away right after sex, and he was enjoying her company immensely.

She pushed him back against the pillow and settled on top of him. He didn't mind her weight, and rested his hands on her ass, grinding against her, quickly getting hard again.

"Easy, cowboy," she said, breaking the kiss. Her breath was already getting heavy. "I don't have another condom."

"How about we just hang around third base, then?" he smirked, and before she could say anything, he ran two fingers along her slit, over her panties. She hissed.

"O-okay," she managed to say, out of breath.

He sat up and kissed her again, hard, making sure to explore every angle of her mouth with his tongue, palming her sex in the meantime, until he could feel the fabric of her underwear getting damp. She moaned softly into his mouth, and he gently grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, so that her back was against his chest. He started placing hot kisses along the outline of her shoulder, while his left hand grabbed her breast under her—well, actually _his—_shirt, and his right sneaked under the elastic band of her panties to run along her slit once more, stopping to rub her clit in fast, circular motions. Ally arched her back, resting her head on the crook of his neck as she let out yet another long moan.

He smirked, pinching her nipple as he finally sneaked a single digit inside her, groaning when he felt just how wet she was. He curled his finger against her walls.

"_God,_" she whined, her arm twisting to grab his neck.

He added a second finger and started pumping in and out, trying to find the movements she reacted to the most as he did.

"Deeper," she asked, huskily, and he complied, massaging her breast as he did so, taking immense pleasure in feeling her wither around his fingers. He started stimulating her clit with his thumb and she bucked her hips against him, breathing out his name over and over again. Hearing it escape her lips was better than any drug he'd ever experienced with. It drove him insane, sent chills down his spine. He could've gotten drunk on it and it would've been the best kind of intoxication.

She came around his fingers cursing way louder than she should have, but he didn't really care that much. He was too turned on to be worrying about the nurses rounding in the halls.

He pulled his fingers out and, when he was sure she was watching, tentatively licked them, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Could you be any more smug?" she asked in playful exasperation. Her voice was still shaky, and he took pride in that.

"Probably," he shrugged.

She shook her head and pushed him down. "Well, it's my turn now."

She hooked her fingers to the elastic band of his boxers and pulled them down, staring at his erection with dark, hungry eyes. She leaned in and curled her tongue around his dick in a way Austin hadn't thought could be humanly possible.

"Fuck," he moaned, head sinking into the pillow.

Her mouth was warm and inviting, and it took him all of his will power not to buck right into it. She kept licking him, adding a hand to stroke the base at a steady pace, and he closed his eyes, trying to focus on the sensation alone. Soon, a buzzing sound caught his ear. Ally's tongue left his dick.

"Wanna get that?" she asked.

He opened his eyes to find his phone buzzing from the nightstand. She, however, didn't wait for his answer as she took him into her mouth and started sucking lightly.

"I'm kind of busy, don't you think?" he managed to say, voice shaking.

He still checked caller ID. It was Kira. He declined the call and put his phone back.

"_Fuck_, yes—keep going," he groaned to Ally, who had now started to bob her head up and down.

She took his balls in her hand, and he swore again, calling her name. He didn't last much lunger after that. He came grunting, and she didn't pull away, emerging only after the pulsating heat of pleasure had subsided. She looked him in the eyes and licked her lips, which, if he hadn't _just_ come, would've probably made him hard all over again. She pulled his boxers back on and dropped beside him, resting her head on his shoulders and sighing contently.

"I like third base," she hummed, making him chuckle.

She snuggled against him and he put and arm around her, enjoying the brand new closeness. It was crazy how, in spite of already having had sex with her multiple times, this was the most intimate he'd ever felt with her.

He tried to fight back the drowsiness lingering over his body, knowing the tennis tournament would be over fairly soon and not wanting to be asleep when she'd have to leave. She started tracing invisible patterns on his bare stomach with her fingers and he unsuccessfully tried to make out what she was drawing for a while, before settling on trying to match their breathing instead. Not before long, his phone started buzzing again.

"You should get that," said Ally, briefly kissing his chest.

"I don't want to," he protested.

"She'll worry."

He didn't ask how she knew that it was Kira who was calling, but focused on her insistent stare instead. No one in their right mind would ever urge the person they were sleeping with to answer a call from their girlfriend or boyfriend, but Ally didn't seem to care about it at all. Maybe he should've felt relief in knowing she didn't mind that he was cheating on someone when he was with her, but her indifference slightly hurt him instead.

He decided to answer the call, just because it meant he would stop thinking about it.

"Hey, Kira," he greeted, quietly.

"Hi babe, how are you?" she sounded cheerful from the other line, and a pang of guilt hit his stomach.

"I'm fine," he said, "you?"

"I'm good too! The girls and I are going to see Bruno Mars tomorrow and I'm trying to pick an outfit. Why didn't you answer before?"

"Oh, I was just—" he hesitated, tongue dry, "with a friend."

"I figured," she didn't sound suspicious, nor annoyed.

Ally kept drawing on his stomach, as if she wasn't listening to the conversation.

"I worked all day today in the studio with daddy's people. I've recorded two songs this week and they sound so _good_, I can't wait for you to hear them! Also, I wast talking with Trent and he asked me to sing the chorus for his next single! Daddy thinks it's an awesome idea and it's gonna be a great way to have people talking about me before I officially announce my own single. God, I'm sososo excited!"

As Kira kept rambling about her day, Ally finally got up and climbed off the bed to start picking up her clothes. She put her jean shorts on and pulled off the plain yellow tee shirt she'd borrowed from Austin, leaving it on his bed. He sat up as she was putting on her white top.

"You don't have to go," he whispered, covering his phone to make sure Kira didn't hear. She was still talking about her duet with T-Fame.

"Dez will be back soon," she pointed out. "It's fine, I'll see you tomorrow."

She smiled at him and headed for the door, waving in his direction just before closing it behind her. He dropped back against his pillow, groaning.

"I know, it's so hard to decide!" said Kira, misinterpreting his frustration. "I'll send you a pic for every option, so you can text me and tell me which one looks best, okay?"

"Sure," said Austin unenthusiastically.

"Alright, bye then. I'll call you earlier tomorrow because I'm gonna be at the concert."

"Fine."

"Love you!"

Austin felt pain in his gut once again. "Love you, too."

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**an:** Your reviews make me so happy, so does all the support this story is getting! I love you all to bits!

xx emoeses


	8. day ten

**an: **I'm so sorry for the delay! Been a bit busy (and procrastinating), but here it is. Chapter 10, and things are starting to get a bit more tense. I'm gonna leave you to it, but first I wanna thank as always everyone of you who reads, follows, and especially favourites and reviews this story. You guys rock and I would've given up on this story long ago if it wasn't for you.

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_**day ten**_

"You and Ally seem to be getting along," noticed Patrick, forty-two minutes into their Thursday session.

Austin raised his eyebrows, taken aback. "I guess," he shrugged, hoping to look casual.

"Do you like her?" wondered Patrick, in a tone that was probably meant to be neutral but sounded very serious instead.

"Why would you ask that?" asked back Austin, defensively.

"You keep looking at her like she's the most interesting thing in the room."

"Have you been spying on me or something?"

"Just observing. It's my job," Patrick's voice was almost unnaturally calm, and Austin found it somewhat eerie.

"I don't like Ally," he said, maybe a bit too quickly.

"You seem to have taken an interest in her from the first day," pointed out Patrick.

"She's pretty, alright? But I have a girlfriend."

They stared at each other for a few seconds, one curious and the other wary. Austin shifted uncomfortably on his seat. Patrick's eyes were too piercing, it looked like he was trying to read his mind and he didn't like that one bit, not only because he didn't want him to find out the truth about his rendezvous with another patient, but because it made him feel exposed to a degree that would've made anyone nervous.

"She is pretty," agreed Patrick eventually, without dropping his stare. "But she's also in a really fragile state and trying to recover. You should keep that in mind."

Austin didn't answer right away, trying to study his therapist's expression instead. It looked like he suspected something, but he was unlikely to have any proof.

"Nothing is going on between us," he said, carefully. "We're friends, that's it."

Patrick nodded, looking a bit more relaxed. "That's good. You could both use someone your age to talk to."

Austin bit the inside of his cheek. "We don't—she doesn't really talk about her issues," he admitted, and cursed himself for it right after. He should've just let the matter fall, but his own frustrations had voiced themselves before he could even realize he had any.

"She's not really the type to do that," sighed Patrick. "Give her time, I'm sure she will, eventually. Maybe opening up yourself wouldn't hurt," he suggested.

"I wouldn't have much to say, anyway."

"I hardly think so. You're a celebrity, I'm sure you have plenty of exciting stories," Patrick smiled.

"Yes, that made me end up in rehab," said Austin, bitterly.

"Any new story popped up on the web, recently?"

"Wouldn't know. I don't ready any of that shit."

Patrick nodded. "Fair enough."

"Are we done for today?"

"Yes, you can go."

"See you tomorrow," sighed Austin, getting up from the leather covered chair to make his way out of the room.

Just before closing the door behind him he looked at his therapist one more time, expecting to find him writing notes on his pad like usual. He wasn't, though. He was looking directly at him, worry creasing his eyebrows. For a second, their eyes locked, and Austin felt a gelid chill run down his spine. He'd come to understand over the week and a half spent in there, that Patrick cared deeply about Ally, in spite of the ever more frequent times she shrug him off.

"I'd never hurt her," he said, surprising himself.

Patrick cocked an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by his sudden comment. "I sure hope so," he answered eventually.

Austin nodded slowly, not really sure why, and shut the door. Almost right on cue, his pocket started buzzing.

"You're breaking the rules, you know," warned a very familiar voice, before he could take his phone out.

Ally was standing a few feet from him, hands joined behind her back and an amused smile coloring her expression.

"Huh?" he asked, too disoriented to even remember what she'd said.

"Phones should be off during any activity, _especially_ therapy. If whoever's calling you had been five minutes early, Patrick would've busted your ass," she explained, with a nudge of her chin towards his pocket.

Austin stared at her blankly for one more second, before his lips broke into a smile as well.

"Rules are not my style. Not yours either, if I remember correctly," he teased.

She looked around to check nobody was paying them attention before stepping closer enough to invade his personal space. By then, he'd completely forgotten about his phone.

"Speaking about rule breaking," she started, casually. "Trish told me she and Dez are gonna sneak out tomorrow night. I think we should join them," she whispered.

She was so close she had to tilt her head to look him in the eyes. So close he could smell her perfume, which colored his mind with images of other things he'd like to do with her, rather than sneak out with their roommates.

"Shouldn't we take advantage of our empty rooms, instead?" he objected.

She smiled. "Who says we can't find some way to be alone anyway?" she pointed out. "And besides, I only have a couple of condoms left. Wouldn't wanna run out, would we?" she winked.

She definitely had a point.

"Alright, what's the plan?"

"Dez will fill you up. You should think about calling your girlfriend back, right now," she pointed at his pocket, stepping back. "Patrick's waiting for me, I'll see you later," she said, as if nothing had happened, then she knocked on the door three times and all he could do was watch her swaying a little as she waited.

He guessed Patrick had summoned her to ask her how she was doing, since he wasn't her assigned therapist. He lingered in the hallway until she disappeared inside the studio. Alone with his thoughts, he scratched his chin, questions about Ally flowering in his mind once again.

He'd thought that by spending almost every evening in her company, he'd finally start to understand her better, to discover a little bit more about her and why she was in there, but she was just as inscrutable as she'd always been, always leaving him guessing. Pretty much everything he knew about her life outside of rehab he had heard from others.

Patrick's suggestion about opening up himself first popped back into his mind, but he shrugged it aside almost too quickly. There was nothing he could've told her that would have inspired her to share her sob story. He was rich and famous, had a stunningly beautiful girlfriend and caring parents, and complaining about any of it would've made him sound like a spoiled brat who couldn't be happy with what he had. He didn't even really have an addiction, maybe just some anger management problems, and he still fiercely believed the only reason he was in there was to shut his dad up and sell some more CDs.

He walked back to his room slowly, staring at the screen of his phone. He didn't feel like talking to Kira, not when his mind was so wrapped up around Ally. He didn't feel like having a fight because she felt him being distant and he found her frivolous comments annoying. He didn't want to feel the frustration of being in a relationship that the whole world judged. So he didn't call her back, deciding however he would pick up if she were to try calling again.

He opened the door to his room to find Dez sitting on his bed, a spoon in one hand and an opened jar of red colored jam in the other. Austin paused in front of the door, watching his roommate perplexed.

"It's strawberry preserve. My mom makes it," explained Dez, in a neutral tone.

"Alright," said Austin slowly, eyebrows still furrowed.

"Reminds me of home," added Dez, before eating a spoonful.

Austin nodded and finally closed the door behind him, heading for his bed. "How long's it been since you've been home?" he asked, curious, while taking off his shoes.

"About four months."

"Seriously? So long?"

Dez dipped his spoon into the jar, eyes low on he jam, and for a while Austin thought he was not going to say anything else. He'd been his roommate for over a week, but still had no idea why Dez was in rehab. He hadn't asked again after his first day, but he wasn't really any less curious. He respected that he wanted privacy though, and more than anyone he understood the need for it.

"It took me a more than a few weeks to actually start... _collaborating_," explained Dez eventually, before putting the spoon back in his mouth.

Austin turned to look him without commenting.

"I used to sneak out and use, buy drugs I'd bring back in. I had to go through detox three times," he went on, still stubbornly looking down.

"You don't have to tell me, you know. It's fine."

"I know," Dez smiled into his jar.

Austin gave him a puzzled look. Why the sudden need to share? Sure, they had gotten closer during the time they'd spent together, but it still felt kind of random.

Dez finally looked up at him, adjusting his position a bit. He looked somewhat uncomfortable.

"I was talking to Patrick during the tennis tournament," he said suddenly, a bit warily, as if he wasn't sure he should be telling him what he was about to. "He suggested that sharing my story with you might get you to admit you actually have a problem—"

"Fuck you."

Austin shot off the bed, feeling violently nauseous, as if he'd just gotten a punch in the stomach.

"Wait, Austin! I'm sorry," tried Dez, getting up as well.

"Just go to hell! And bring Patrick with you, while you're at it. Maybe you need this shit but I don't, I'm only here because I was hoping it'd shut everybody the fuck up," he yelled. "Obviously I was wrong," he deadpanned, before shutting the door behind him.

To say he was angry was probably an understatement. He felt betrayed, misunderstood, _caged_. That place was a fucking prison and he was suddenly so sick of it. He wasn't an addict, he was fine, and he kept repeating that to himself as he walked down the hallway and up the stairs. He was fine, he hadn't had any alcohol in his system in over ten days and he hadn't craved it at all. Well, he did now, but that was just because he was pissed off, and drinking himself to oblivion was usually the best way to calm down. He knew another way, though.

He knocked loudly against Ally's door and she opened it almost immediately.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you," she smiled, before realizing he was upset.

"Is Trish in there?" he asked urgently.

"No, she's doing group therapy—"

"Good."

He pushed her inside and started kissing her even before hearing the door shutting behind him.

"Austin, what's going on?" she asked as she managed to pull away, both hands on his chest.

"What do you think?" he breathed back, stroking her cheek with his hand as he put his forehead against hers.

"I think something happened that made you angry," she said, stepping back.

"I'm not here to talk about my feelings," he spat in frustration. "This isn't fucking therapy."

"No, it isn't," she agreed, sending him a tired look.

Austin closed the distance between them one more time to kiss her again, this time gently. Ally pushed her body against his with a sigh.

"Trish will be back soon. We don't have much time," she whispered as he unhooked her bra through her shirt.

"That's fine," he answered, a bit too distracted to actually elaborate.

She exhaled sharply as his fingers found her nipples. "W-we should also be quiet."

"_I_ should be the one telling _you_ that," he teased, his lips tickling her earlobe.

He took off his shirt and pushed her back towards her bed.

He fucked her fast, releasing his anger towards the world with every thrust inside her. He sucked her neck while she came, pressing her own hand against her mouth to muffle her moans. He left before she was done putting her clothes back on and he'd thought he'd feel better, but he wasn't sure he did.

Later that night he realized that Kira hadn't ended up calling back.

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**an: **Please review! Also, because I posted this a day late, I'm gonna put up the next chapter on Saturday, and next week I'll resume the usual schedule. Sorry for being late, hope it was worth it!


	9. day eleven (part 1)

**an: **Here I am! Happy Saturday, everybody! I woke up at 12:47 AM so I've been groggy all day. But here's the chapter, and it's a bit of a filler but also marks the introduction of a new characters that's gonna stir things up a bit. As always, I hope you enjoy it.

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_**day eleven (part 1)**_

They met up in the back courtyard one and a half hour after curfew. Austin had expressed his reluctance at hanging out with Dez the whole night, but Ally hadn't seemed concerned.

"He's gonna go find Carrie and Trish has friends she wants to meet. It's probably gonna be just the two of us the whole night," she'd told him, voice down to a hush, during lunch.

"Can't we just go out by ourselves then?"

"He's the only one with keys to the gate. We need him."

So there they were, hurrying across the freshly cut grass in almost complete darkness to get to the fence. Dez was leading the way along the narrow blind spot of the security cameras. Nobody said a word until they were out and at least a block away from the facility, where they stopped next to a street lamp.

"Is Carrie picking us up?" asked Trish, stillwhispering in spite of being already out.

"Yeah, she should be here any second now. Do any of you need a ride somewhere specific?"

"I need to get to the Gardens, but Jace can pick me up if it's too far for you guys."

Dez shrugged. "It's fine, Carrie lives in North Palm Beach, it's not that much of a D-tour," he said, then he turned towards Austin. "What are you guys gonna do?"

"Hit the CVSon Palm Beach Lakes boulevard and then just hang around there, I guess," answered Ally, shrugging.

"That sounds boring. Sure you don't want to come with me? We're gonna go to this skatepark where Jace is performing for a night event. There's supposed to be live music and a rumored appearance by Ryan Sheckler," said Trish excitedly.

"Sounds a bit too high profile for me," pointed out Austin, wincing.

He was already feeling a bit paranoid about being out in the open, he definitely didn't want to be anywhere near an event where celebrities might pop up. All it took was one paparazzi to taking picture of him and he would be ruined. He tugged on his baseball cap, lowering the visor over his eyes.

"Ugh, I guess being a celebrity is not always fun," commented Trish.

"Do you guys wanna come hang at Carrie's place?" proposed Dez, looking a bit nervous.

Austin was about to send him a death glare, before he felt Ally's hand close on his forearm, quietly telling him to calm down.

"It's fine, I'm sure we'll find something to do that'll spice up our night of freedom. You and Carrie should enjoy some alone time," she said sweetly and Dez smiled at her.

Right on cue, a dark colored Mazda pulled over next to them. A smiling Carrie waved from behind the closed window.

"Why do you need to go to CVS, anyway?" asked a curious Trish, as theywalked towards the car.

Dez took place on the passenger seat and greeted his girlfriend with a peck on the lips while the other three settled in the back.

"I need chap-stick."

Trish nodded, seemingly convinced, then turned her attention toward Carrie, asking her about her day. Austin looked at a very composed Ally, smoothing the fabric of her denim skirt. It was almost unrealistic how much unfazed she seemed about everything and that made him nervous, which was not very characteristic of him. He was used to be the cool and collected one in every situation, but around her he just wasn't. Around her he felt like a mess.

They got to the CVS in less than ten minutes,

"Have fun at your party. Tell Ryan Sheckler I said hi," joked Ally as she opened the car door.

"I will!"

They said goodbye and agreed to meet again there at 3AM. Thirty seconds later they were left stranded alone on the sidewalk. Austin dipped his hands in his pockets and looked at Ally, swaying his weight from the tip of his feet to the heels and back. "What now?"

"Now we go shopping," she smiled and grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards the store.

They walked in and instinctively sighed when the cool AC hit their skin. Ally smiled at the clerk sitting at the cash register and looking very bored, and then nudged him towards the aisles near the pharmacy. "You go get the condoms, I need bobby pins and—well—chap-stick," she winked before walking away towards the cosmetics section and he smiled.

"Alright."

He watched her leave, unconsciously gazing at her ass, which the short skirt highlighted to perfection. He clenched his teeth, feeling like a creeper when he felt his pants getting tighter. He turned around and walked towards the family planning aisle. The store was fairly empty, but he still kept his head low, making sure that his face was covered by his bright orange baseball cap.

Of course, fate wanted that possibly the only other costumer in the whole store was also picking up condoms. Just his luck.

He reflexively pulled down his cap and walked towards him nonchalantly. He was inspecting a neon colored box with an amused grin. When he noticed him he nodded in his direction.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Austin scanned the boxes in search for his usual brand, really hoping to get out of there as soon as possible. He didn't need tomorrow's online gossip to be all about him buying condoms in the middle of West Palm Beach when he was supposed to be in rehab.

"My friend says these only work if you expose them to light for twenty minutes," said the guy, holding the bright box right under Austin's nose. "There's nothing about that written on the package though."

Austin realized it was the glow-in-the-dark kind of condoms. He snickered.

"Dude, why would you ever want your dick to be a glow stick?"

The guy laughed. "You're right, it's so stupid. I'm going to a club later and I thought it might be clever. There's gonna be UV lights."

"You should probably focus on a way to get girls attention _before_ you're at the point where you have to put a condom on."

"Right. So I guess I'll go classic."

Austin finally found the brand he wanted and picked it up quickly, then headed back to the check out point.

The guy followed, eyeing his face a little more carefully. "Do you go to Wellington? You look familiar."

"Sorry, I'm not from around here."

"Weird, could've sworn I've seen you somewhere before."

Austin shrugged, finally at the cash registry. He handed the box to the clerk who scanned it and pressed a few keys on the machine.

"Seven-fifty."

He took a twenty dollar bill from his pocket and put it down next to the box, tapping his foot while the clerk took forever to count his change. He could feel the guy's scrutinizing look on him and it made him nervous. Ally was nowhere to be seen.

"Here you go, Twelve dollars and fifty cents. Do you want a bag?"

"I'm good, thanks."

He picked up the money and the condoms and stepped away, looking around in hope to find Ally.

"No way," he heard the guy say from behind him, and part of him knew right then he was screwed.

He reluctantly turned to see him pick up a magazine from the rack next to the check out desk and shift his gaze from him to the cover, then back to him. Austin swallowed back a curse.

"Listen, man, I'm not supposed to be here. I would love if you could just forget you ever saw me."

The guy nodded, looking actually pretty cool about the whole situation. "Hey, no problem. I would love an autograph, though."

Austin gave him a tired smile. "Sure, what do you want me to sign?"

"How about this?" he handed him the box of condoms he'd just purchased and Austin laughed, despite himself.

"Hey, do you have a pen?" he asked to the clerk, who's interest had been peeked as well.

"Sure," he handed him a black _Sharpie_ marker. "I think my last girlfriend broke up with me because of you," he said, making Austin smile.

"Sorry about that."

"Haven't we all been there?" joked the guy, whose name Austin realized he still didn't know.

"Who should I make this out to?" he asked.

"Oh, my name's Elliot."

At lack of anything witty to write, Austin settled for a simple "_To Elliot. Best of luck,_" before signing his name and handing him his box back.

"Man, this is gonna be the greatest chick-magnet in history," commented Elliot, and Austin winked.

"And it's condoms, too! They're gonna see it as Austin Moon's blessing to have sex with you," added the clerk in awe.

"Remember, with great power comes great responsibility," chuckled Austin.

"Can I have an autograph too?"

"Sure, as long as you promise not to tell any details about where and how you saw me."

"Oh, don't worry. Could you sign the magazine and make it out to Lisa?"

"Is she the girl who dumped you?" asked Elliot, while Austin signed.

"I'm gonna be her hero after this."

This time, Austin's laugh was short lived, as a title from the bottom of the cover caught his eye. Big, bright pink letters wrote "_Is Kira Starr having too much fun while Austin is in rehab?_" next to a little picture of Kira hugging Trent. Austin bit his tongue, resisting the urge to open the magazine and read the article.

The question mark and small size of the font suggested that it was all just speculation, something to make people want to buy a magazine but didn't really have any evidence about anything. If the press had actually been certain about the story, it would've taken the whole cover alone. He breathed in and out and counted to ten, a trick his meditation instructor had suggested, but before he even knew it he was flipping through the pages.

The article was short and, just as he'd thought, highly uninformative. It showed the same picture on the cover, only big enough to take up half a page, and said that the pair had been spotted backstage at the Bruno Mars concert, acting maybe a little bit too friendly. It also specified that "Kaustin" was still to be officially confirmed and, though the reporter thought it unlikely, it was possible Kira didn't really have a boyfriend to cheat on.

Austin shut the magazine while repeating to himself not to jump to conclusion. He knew better than anyone about the shit that made up ninety percent of tabloids, but the picture was now burned in his mind and paranoia was hard to ignore. More than the cheating itself—he knew he shouldn't blame her for that, not after the week he'd spent screwing another girl—it was the "T-Fame" of it all that bugged him. Trent was his best friend and he would never hook up with his girlfriend. Austin had always known he could be a real a son of a bitch, but he wouldn't do anything this shitty to _him_ out of everybody. They'd known each other since they were sixteen and just learning about the joys and the pains of the business. They still lived together in LA, they were planning to share huge worldwide tour, and were already talking about starting their own record label once in their twenties. He was not only his best friend, roommate and business partner, he was his _brother_. Or at least had been, up until the scandals had begun.

After that dancer had announced his intentions to press charge, Austin had watched most of his acquaintances quickly disappear from his life. He'd thought that his closest friends and his girlfriend would stay by his side, but those relationship had suffered a strain as well. Now, looking at the glossy, colorful magazine cover, he felt like an outsider, a spectator from the sidelines, powerless towards his friends, his love life and even his own image.

He handed the signed copy to the clerk, bitterness flooding his mouth, and right after felt a hand rest on his back.

"Hey, everything okay?" asked Ally softly, appearing by his side.

He didn't even have time to respond before someone else cut in.

"Dawson?"

Ally blinked and looked up. "Hey, Elliot."

* * *

**an: **Sorry for the cliffhanger! Next chapter will be up on Tuesday, but please review in the meantime! Let me know what you thought about this chapter and the new entry. Elliot is definitely gonna change the course of the story, and that's all I'm gonna tease.


	10. day eleven (part 2)

**an: **Hello everybody! Here's chapter 10, hope you enjoy it! Small **warning**: there will be use of recreational drugs (i.e. marijuana).

* * *

_**day eleven (part 2)**_

"Dawson?"

Ally blinked and looked up. "Hey, Elliot."

Austin gaped at them, not quite sure about what was going on.

"I can't believe it! Talk about a small world!"

Elliot opened his arms and approached her. She left Austin's side to let him embrace her for a few seconds longer than customary.

"Not that small. It's still Florida," she pointed out after he let her go.

"Still, last I heard your dad had you locked up in some hippy rehab place."

"Yep, that happens to be in Palm Beach."

Austin couldn't tell if she looked uncomfortable or just surprised. He tried to ignore the fact that Elliot's hand resting on her forearm was bugging him way more than it should've.

"And you escaped?"

"Just sneaked out. I'll be back before anyone finds out."

After a moment's hesitation, Elliot threw his head back in laughter. "Typical!"

"Shut up," she was smiling as well as she playfully hit his shoulder.

He threw Austin a casual glance and seemed to only then realize that they were together. He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Hanging with celebrities, huh? Rehab changed you," he teased her.

Ally turned to Austin and sent him what looked like an apologetic smile, before focusing back on Elliot.

"So you two met?" she asked.

"Well, I recognized him and he signed my condoms," he filled her in.

Ally sent him a puzzled look, but Austin just shrugged and stepped forward.

"I'm her rehab buddy," he said, unable to find any other way to describe their relationship.

"I'm the love of her life," answered Elliot, way more chill than anyone would have expected for such a statement.

Ally hit him again. "You're such an idiot," she rolled her eyes, then looked at Austin. "We used to date, back when he was living in Miami."

"And during all the spring and summer breaks after I moved," added Elliot with a wink.

For some reason, that may or may not have had to do with the suggestiveness of his tone, Austin felt the urge to punch him.

"I have to admit, with all the rumors that are going around, I didn't think I would see you again," he said, his hand slipping down Ally's arm until their fingers interlocked. Austin caught his eyes leering at her lips and almost instinctively moved closer to her.

Ally lowered her gaze and, after a second, stepped backwards, almost bumping into him. Elliot looked up from her to him and a spark of understanding lit his eyes. His smile faltered.

"It was nice to see you again, Elliot," said Ally sweetly, moving towards the check out desk to pay for the few things she'd picked up.

"Hey, don't think I'm gonna let you guys leave before we get a chance to catch up properly!" he protested.

Austin fought the impulse to glare. "Didn't you have a club to go to?" he asked, hoping to sound casual enough.

"Yeah, but that's probably gonna be boring as hell," he shrugged and, as soon as Ally walked up to them, hung an arm across her shoulders. "I have a much better way to spend the night in mind."

* * *

If it had been for Austin, they'd said their goodbyes to Elliot upon walking out of the CVS, but Ally'd seemed intrigued by Elliot's suggestion, and now there they were, in a corner of the parking lot behind the Burger King across the street, watching as he lit up a joint.

"Just like the old times, huh Dawson?" he asked with a smirk. "Ladies first," he added as he passed it to her.

Austin inevitably found himself pondering about Ally's life before rehab. He knew she had a rich dad and she played piano, but was afraid to perform in front of an audience. He knew her mom was friends with Patrick and that she lived in Miami. He'd just found out that she'd been in the same relationship for at least two thirds of high school and still hooked up with the guy—who for some reason liked to call her by her last name—whenever they got a chance to spend some time together.

As he watched her bring the joint to her lips and draw in the smoke, eyelids lowered and fingers lightly grazing her nose, he wondered how many times she'd done it before. She sure looked like she had experience. Was the habit of getting high one of the reasons why she'd ended up in rehab? Was he being incredibly irresponsible by just sitting idly by and waiting for his turn? Because smoking dope in a parking lot definitely defeated the whole purpose of rehab.

Ally exhaled a puff of smoke with a blissful smile, before handing the joint to Austin, who took it a bit hesitantly.

"What's up superstar? Never smoked weed before?" mocked Elliot, catching his reluctance.

Again the itch to punch him, this time he knew perfectly well why.

He put the joint between his lips and inhaled the smoke, ignoring the burning sensation as it filled his airways and spread through his lungs. He held his breath for a second, before blowing it out just as he felt his mind starting to cloud. He passed the cigarette forward and enjoyed the feeling of his thoughts getting slightly more sparse. He'd somehow forgotten about the relaxing powers of marijuana.

Elliot took his drag and the pot got passed around another two times before Ally put out the stub against the concrete.

"That was good stuff," she said with a giggle.

"Only the best for you, Dawson."

Austin sighed contently, a lot more unfazed by the comment than he would've been when sober. He was throughly pleased by the blank state of his brain, the lack of worrisome thoughts. Kira and Trent were now the furthest thing from his mind, and so were Elliot's continuous attempts at flirting with his girl. His thoughts were even too foggy for him to brood on the fact that Ally wasn't actually his girl, more like a really attractive, really mysterious fuck buddy. He smiled to himself, while mixed thoughts of their rendezvous flooded his mind and damn, now he felt horny, and was resenting Elliot again, though just for the fact that his presence kept him from pushing Ally up against the concrete wall and stick his tongue down her throat.

Enemy number one was apparently having similar thoughts, as he neared Ally and not so subtly checked her out. His eyes were glassy and Austin was probably a bit more paranoid than usual, but they were filled with lust as he took a strand of her hair between his fingers.

"Did you get hotter in rehab?" he asked, probably feeling very smug.

"Maybe," Ally batted her eyelashes, then giggled. "Maybe you're just high as hell."

"Isn't hell underground?" pondered Austin out loud, making the other two burst into laughter.

"English is such a weird language," Ally managed to say after a while, and Austin felt relief when she walked away from Elliot to lean against a car.

"What should we do now?" she asked.

"I'm getting kinda hungry."

"How stereotypical."

Elliot was about to answer when his pocket started to buzz. He took out his phone and stepped away to take the call, much to the pleasure of Austin, who took advantage of the moment to get closer to Ally.

"Hey," he said, with a goofy grin.

She giggled. "Heeey."

Still smiling, he nuzzled her ear with his nose, fingers hooking to the hem of her skirt and pulling it down slightly. "No offense, but do you think we could ditch your friend? He's kinda boring."

She sighed, tilting her head to allow him better access to her neck. "He is, isn't he?" she whispered, and by her husky tone he knew she was craving the same thing he was.

"Yeah, and he's getting in the way," he murmured.

"Really? Of what?"

"Of me fucking you," he breathed into her ear, making her shiver with both desire and anticipation.

He wasn't able to go on with a description of exactly how he wanted to make her scream while buried inside her, because Elliot returned and he had to step back, settling for the pleasure of seeing the pink on her cheek in the semidarkness.

"So, my friends are gonna be here in a minute to pick me up to get to this club. You guys should join us!"

"Thanks, but it sounds like too big of a scene for me," said Austin almost immediately, quietly exulting inside.

"Yeah, Austin's undercover tonight," added Ally, nodding with a bit too much emphasis.

"Bummer, I was looking forward to catch up with you, Dawson."

She shrugged. "Maybe some other time."

"I hope so. I really missed you, you know?"

Austin didn't even try to hide his wince. He had half an idea that the guy didn't really miss Ally, he missed fooling around with her. Typical lonely-dick-syndrome, he'd himself been a victim a couple of times.

Blasting music from a car and a few obviously drunk guys yelling profanities interrupted Ally from whatever she was about to respond. Elliot turned towards his friends, who had pulled up in front of the Burger King.

"My ride's here. I'll see you around, Dawson," he leaned over to kiss her cheek, hands lingering a bit too long on her hip. Austin held back a growl. "It was nice to meet you, Moon."

"You too, Elliot. Make wise use of those condoms!" he knew he'd said it way louder than necessary, but didn't care one bit. He would've just blamed the weed, anyway.

Ally sent them a puzzled look, but Austin was too busy waving to explain.

As soon as the car drove into the highway, he turned and roughly pushed Ally against the truck she'd been leaning on up to a second before. He was barely able to see her smirk before he finally crashed his lips against hers, his tongue finding its way into her mouth almost immediately. She moaned and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer, before moving her hands up to run through his hair. He tilted his head to the side to deepen the kiss, but that did little to quench his need of her. He grabbed her ass with both hands and lifted her, using the car to sustain part of her weigh. She locked her legs around his hips and dug her nails into his neck, making him hiss.

Their sexes were now only separated by their clothes, and he swore he could already feel her heat through the layers, making his dick even harder. She moaned loudly when he rolled his hips against hers, both his hands still on her butt while one of hers was now lightly scratching his cheek.

"_Hem hem_."

They startled apart and he almost dropped her from the shock. A man presumably in his fifties was standing a few feet from them, looking highly annoyed.

"I would like to get into my car, _if you don't mind_," he growled.

Austin stepped back and Ally let him go, gracefully landing on her feet. She was crimson red.

"Of course, sir. We're very sorry," she stuttered.

He huffed in response and stuck the key in the lock, mumbling about "horny teenagers" and "fresh wax jobs." Austin couldn't even wait until he'd drove off the parking lot to crack up. Ally tried to resist a couple seconds longer, but soon enough they were both bent over laughing, and they could only stop once their stomachs started to hurt.

Austin looked for Ally's gaze while she dried her eyes, both breathing heavily. He walked to her and rested both hands on her hips before kissing her again, this time slowly and sensually. When he let her go, he brushed two fingers against the soft skin of her cheekbone and locked his eyes into hers. The shade of brown was almost identical to his, he noticed, but so different at the same time. Hers seemed deeper in a mysterious and forbidden kind of way. Her eyes were the gateway to a well full of secrets that he was never gonna be able to uncover completely. It scared and excited him at the same time and, for the first time since he met her, he felt the need to tell her he loved her.

For a second, he thought his stoned brain was gonna let him, but fortunately his tongue still knew better.

"What now?" she asked, her fingers reaching up to push a strand of his hair off his forehead.

"Burger King's bathroom?" he suggested, lacking any better solution.

Her eyes lit up. "How about Elliot's car, instead? I bet it's still in the CVS parking lot."

"Didn't he take the key with him?"

She smirked. "Yes, but I happen to know he keeps a spare duck taped under the bumper."

Austin's eyebrow peaked in interest. His boner was still painfully pushing against his jeans and he didn't like Elliot that much, anyway.

He smirked. "It's worth a shot."

* * *

**an: **Hope you liked it, please review!


	11. day eleven (part 3)

**an: **Hello my lovelies! I almost forgot to post the chapter today, and in my time zone I'm about an hour late, but whatever. I warn you that I didn't go over this chapter as throughly as I usually do, so you can expect a few more mistakes than usual. I apologise for that, I'm too tired to read it all now.

**warning: **smut, smut, smut. Last sex scene for a while though, so enjoy!

* * *

_**day eleven (part 3)**_

The walk back to the CVS parking lot seemed like the longest of his life. She led the way, holding his hand and sending occasional lustful glances in his direction, each of them making him harden even more. If he didn't take her soon he was gonna lose his fucking mind.

The key was exactly where she'd said, covered by a few layers of thick packaging tape. He couldn't really tell if Elliot's idea was clever or not. Sure, it was a great solution if he used to lose his key a bit too often, but he should've probably kept the secret a little bit better. Not that he could've ever imagined that his ex girlfriend would take advantage of his car to have sex with someone else, but still.

Ally insisted to drive the car to the corner of the big lot, away from the street and from the view of possible CVS late night clients. Still, Elliot's was one of only three other cars occupying the huge space, and would've probably still been very noticeable. Wasn't having sex in a public space kind of illegal?

"So what? I thought risking to get caught was part of our thing," joked Ally.

He didn't push it. He had no intention of getting blue balls, anyway.

She turned off the car and pulled the key out of the ignition to leave it on the dashboard. Then she turned to look at him, wetting her lips with her tongue and evoking all kinds of inappropriate imagery. She took off his baseball hat before she leaned towards him to kiss him gently and slowly, in a way that he could only describe as teasing. If it had been up to him, he would've already been inside her.

"I lost my virginity in a car, you know?" she told him, pulling away.

He frowned. Who was the asshole who'd deemed appropriate for her to have sex for the first time in a car?

"Not my favorite three minutes, to be honest," she added with a wince.

Was it the weed that made her so open to sharing, all of the sudden? Or was she starting to finally feel the need to open up to him he'd been craving since he'd first seen her?

"My first time was in my girlfriend's room, with her parents having dinner with guests downstairs."

Ally giggled. "They weren't worried about you two being alone upstairs?"

"They didn't know I was there. I'd sneaked in from the window."

"How romantic," she smiled, then lifted herself up to come straddle his lap, both arms resting on his shoulders. He held her hips to steady her. "How old were you?"

"Fifteen. You?"

"Fourteen."

"That's young," he said, before he could stop himself. The fact that it had been in a car probably meant the guy had been at least two years older than her.

"Yeah, well... I was a stupid freshman, crazy in love with the quarterback."

Austin suspected she was purposely avoiding meeting his eyes. He sighed and cupped her cheek with his hand, trying to get her to look at him. He doubted she'd ever actually been stupid, maybe just young and naïve. When she kept evading his stare he kissed her, deeply but not roughly, desperately hoping to make her feel wanted. Because he wanted her, so much that he didn't think he could ever have enough.

She sighed and slid her tongue into his mouth, hands now dipping into his hair, knees involuntarily tightening against his sides. He sneaked a hand under her tank top and ran it across her smooth back, tracing the outline of her spine with his fingers and pushing the top upwards as he did so. Her lips left his to travel along his jaw, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses on its outline. When she reached his ear she bit his lobe and he ground against her, causing a hiss to escape her lips. He yanked her top off and she lifted the hem of his shirt just enough to sprawl her hands on his abs, while industriously half kissing, half sucking his neck. He groaned in pleasure and slid a hand under her bra to cup her breast, fingers expertly teasing her nipple until he felt her breath catching in her throat. He smirked and used his free hand to push up the hem of her skirt until he could feel the lacy texture of her panties under his fingers. He ran his thumb along her entrance, still over the soaking undergarment. She whimpered and lost focus in what she was doing, and he kept his ministration going until she was moaning loudly, head buried in the crook of his neck. He pecked her shoulder before pushing the fabric aside to plunge two fingers into her. Her knees closed tighter against his hips and her nails dug into his neck.

"_Fuck._"

She was tight and wet around his digits and he could almost feel her pleasure through the pulsating of her walls. He started pumping in and out of her fast, dying to see her come undone around him, and she moved her hips to meet his movements, angling her pelvis so that he could get in deeper. He pinched her nipple again, before finally unclasping her bra and pushing her back so that he could reach his breasts with his mouth. He started sucking on one and he felt her fingers digging in his scalp as she pushed his head even closer. She sighed his name and it drove him crazy. He found her clit with his thumb and started massaging it, while keeping up his steady fingering. She came in only a few minutes, high pitched moans escaping her throat while her back arched and she rode out her orgasms, breathing heavily.

He pulled his fingers out and sucked them clean under her hazy stare, the acute pulsing of his sex quickly bringing him down from the high of seeing her climax because of him.

He was so far from being done with her.

He took off his shirt, the hot temperature starting to get to him, and she hummed her agreement before kissing him hard, hands roaming on his chest. He didn't waste time and reached for her panties again, this time to pull them down. He felt the material rip, but she didn't let out any kind of displeasure, her restless tongue sliding against his. She reached to undue his belt and unbutton his jeans, and they had to briefly readjust their position so she could pull them and his boxers down enough to free his dick from its constraint. She closed her hand around the base and pumped him a few time, finally giving him some release, but it wasn't enough. He wanted to be inside her and he didn't know how much longer he could resist.

So he stopped her by grabbing her wrist and pulled back from the kiss to tell her. She smiled.

"Where are the condoms?"

"Back pocket."

She reached to get the box, which had been squished beneath their weight. She giggled and took one of the condoms out, throwing the rest on the driver seat. She opened the wrapping with her teeth, looking insanely hot while doing so, and preceded to roll the condom onto his length, looking him in the eyes while doing so. She offered him a lecherous smile as she positioned herself over him, one hand on his shoulder to keep her balance and the other at the base of his cock to align him to her entrance. She slid down painfully slow, catching his moan into her mouth. Her tongue flicked against his and he let his hands linger on her thighs while she took a second to adjust to his now familiar girth. Then she lifted herself slightly and he gripped her hips to guide her back down, swallowing her moan of pleasure. He kept guiding her movements while thrusting into her, his breathing becoming more erratic with every wave of pleasure her tight walls spread through him.

He left her mouth with the intention to kiss every inch of her neck and collarbone. He sucked under her ear, whispering her name into her hair. She dug her nails into his shoulders deep enough to leave marks, her movements starting to lose rhythm as pleasure built inside her again. Sweat covered them both, making their skin glisten in the dim light. He knew she was being loud enough that people could probably hear her from outside, but honestly didn't care.

She was the only thing in the world and his hazed senses were too focus on all the wonderful things she made him feel to worry about the outside. To worry about anything else, ever.

He palmed her breasts as he felt her body start to tense while a second orgasm overtook her, perhaps even more intense than the first one. She cried out to god and somehow found enough strength left in her legs to keep riding him throughout the pleasure that seized her core and spread through her body like wildfire. She collapsed against him, breathing heavily, and he stopped moving for a second.

It had took him a lot more willpower than he thought he had not to succumb to his own need for release with her, but he hoped the waiting would be worth it. He gently helped her off him, and found the lever to lower the seat, pulling on it while pushing the backrest as down as it went. Then, not without a little struggle, he switched places with Ally so she was the one sitting, and guided her down until she was lying on the now flat seat. She pulled her skirt off and spread her legs wider, while he pushed his pants and boxers down completely. He then positioned himself over her and kissed her while entering her again. She moaned, still sensitive from her last orgasm, and arched her back to allow him to sink deeper into her. Her legs locked around his lower back and he dug his fingers into her thighs while starting to thrust into her.

"Damn, Ally. You feel so _fucking_ good." He breathed into her ear.

She moaned and he kissed her neck and licked her nipples, enjoying every single sound that escaped her mouth, enjoying more than anything his name being first sighed, then whimpered and finally moaned, as she begged him to go fuck her harder and faster. He complied with whatever energy was left in him, kissing the sweat away from her neck, loosing himself in the smell of her hair while she chanted her approval whenever his dick filled her completely. Soon enough, she was throwing her hips upwards to meet his thrusts, eyes shut as she could feel her third orgasm so close she could almost reach for it. She held back, knowing that he was close as well and wanting to share the heat of pleasure with him, this time.

He slowed down a bit, wanting the amazing feeling of being one with her to stretch out as much as possible. He pecked her lips, before pushing a few damp strands of hair from her forehead. His fingers lingered on her cheekbone, eyes locking into hers. It was like the first time they'd had sex, only more intense, if possible. He stopped moving and she seemed too hypnotize by his gaze to notice. His thumb trailed down her cheek until it brushed her lower lip and she was perfect, he could swear it. She was the most fucking perfect thing in his life, the _only_ perfect thing.

"I'm falling in love with you," he whispered.

He knew it was mostly the dope still in his system talking, together with the sex high and the fact that he was an impulsive moron, but part of him also knew it was the truth.

Her eyes opened wider and, staring into them, he could see a thousand of emotions in them, fighting to prevail. She looked scared, but he didn't have time to elaborate because she pulled him into a rough, hard kiss that made his head spin, and she started thrusting towards him, one hand on his hip urging him to start moving again as well. She pulled back to kiss his jaw again.

"Make me come," she breathed hotly into his ear, "_please_."

It only took him pushing into her a couple more times before he started to feel her walls clench around him. This time he let himself go, his hands steadying her hips while he pumped in and out of her a few last times. She threw her head back and let out short, high pitched moans, legs shaking and toes curling while her whole body vibrated under his. He could hardly feel the pain of her nails scratching his skin, so lost in his pleasure.

He pulled out of her and miraculously found the strength to climb back on the driver seat, trying to catch his breath. Ally curled up on herself and held the position for a few seconds, breathing heavily as well. The inside of the car felt insanely hot and the air smelled like sex and sweat. Still, he would've stayed in there, cuddled with her forever. He took off the condom and opened the car door to let it fall on the concrete, not really worried about littering. When he looked back at Ally, she had already put her skirt back on and was struggling with her bra. She wasn't looking at him, and the angle of her lips almost made her seem upset.

"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning.

"Nothing," she looked up, showing him her brightest smile.

He kept his puzzled expression, until she leaned in to kiss him briefly. She pushed his pants into his hands.

"Get dressed, I'm suffocating in here," she told him, before turning around to search for her tank top.

Austin did as she told him and a few minutes later he caught up to her out of the car. She locked the doors and proceeded to put the key back in its hiding place under the bumper, then she turned to look at him.

"How about a bucket of onion rings and a smoothie?" she asked, pointing at the Burger King across the street.

He smiled. "Sounds awesome."

* * *

**an: **Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think! xx


	12. day twelve

**an:** hello everybody, sorry if I'm a day late! I had a paragraph to rewrite for this chapter and didn't have time to do it yesterday. Anyways, here it is, and it's kind of a fill chapter regarding to the Auslly storyline, but also kind of important for Austin's "journey." I'm sorry if I've indulged a bit too much in smut in the past chapters (like someone pointed out). You should know there will be only one more NSFW chapter and it won't be coming up soon. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one!

* * *

_**day twelve**_

Austin woke up to a pounding headache and very blurred memories of the previous night. He sat up, eyes still unable to open completely, and stretched his stiff limbs, sighing when the bones of his back cracked. He rubbed his eyes before glancing around. A single sun ray had managed to sneak past the drawn curtains and illuminated the room enough for him to see that Dez was still sound asleep in his bed. He reached for his phone on the nightstand to check the time: 7:32AM, way too early considering they'd snuck back in just four hours prior.

Austin thought about just sinking back into the pillows, but his head hurt too much and he probably wouldn't have had an easy time falling back asleep. He got up and wobbled towards the bathroom, lightly closing the door behind him. He tried to remember the clinic's policy for getting pain killers, but the only thing he was sure of was that it would involve much more effort than he could give. The easiest thing would be trying to go back to sleep until lunch, and hope the migraine would go away on its own. Therapy was scheduled for early afternoon and, since it was Saturday, he had no other commitment.

He took the plastic glass on the sink and filled it up with tap water. He emptied it in a matter of seconds, finding relief when the cold liquid hit his sore throat. He hadn't realized how thirsty he'd been, too focused on the headache. He filled the glass again, before checking out his reflection.

He looked like hell.

His eyes were swollen and red, with faint purple shadows under them. His hair was all over the place and he looked ghostly pale. The image wasn't unfamiliar, it was his typical hungover one, but he wasn't sure it was gonna go unnoticed by the facility staff. He didn't know what the consequences to sneaking out and smoking pot were, but they would probably involve a prolongation of his stay and a call to his parents, both things he dreaded immensely.

He noticed he was still wearing the tee shirt from the night before, and he also noticed that it smelled of weed and sweat. He didn't remember much from last night, aside from a general recap of what he'd done and who he'd met, together with the memories of mind-blowing sex in someone else's car. He smiled to himself.

He needed a shower.

* * *

After the fight with Dez, Austin had every intention not to talk to Patrick ever again. Unfortunately, therapy sessions were mandatory, and he was still his shrink.

He entered his studio and calmly closed the door behind him, before sitting down in his usual chair. Patrick smiled and put down his pen.

"How was lunch?" he asked, like he always did when they met in early afternoon.

Austin didn't answer.

"I had the cob salad and it was fantastic. Antoin really surpassed himself."

Austin couldn't really see what was so impressing about a salad, but still didn't respond.

"You look tired."

They finally looked into each other's eyes, and Austin had the weird feeling that Patrick knew everything about the previous night. He couldn't have, though. It was impossible.

"I didn't sleep much," he finally said, very carefully.

Turns out the shower had woken him up too much for him to be able to go back to sleep after. That, and the memories of the magazine article about Kira and Trent, mixed with flashbacks to the best, hottest sex of his life, had kept his brain too alert to slip into consciousness easily. He'd spent the rest of the morning wandering through the facility, intermittently fighting annoyance and arousal while hoping to run into Ally somewhere, without having to go knock on her door. He'd been unsuccessful, and she'd been a no-show at lunch as well.

He wasn't worried, not really. She was probably sleeping in.

"How come?"

"Dunno. Thoughts."

Austin cursed at himself. He'd been too distracted thinking about Ally to remember about his decision not to talk to Patrick ever again. Oh well, he was gonna have to choose a different approach.

"What kind of thoughts?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Girlfriend, parents, my shrink plotting with my roommate to get me to confess to an illness I don't have," he answered casually, eyes hard.

Patrick seemed surprise, but not really guilty. He didn't say anything.

"I thought you couldn't talk about patients to other people."

Patrick shook his head. "I can't discuss what we talk about or matters of your private life, but there's no rule against encouraging two patients to open up to each other."

"That's not what happened. You told Dez to open up to me so I would do the same thing with him, just like you suggested I did with Ally! It was sneaky and backhanded!"

"Now, that seems a bit exaggerated. What's so bad about sharing your story with a friend? Dez wouldn't have told me anything you told him in confidence."

It bugged Austin how calm he was being about the whole thing. Like he really didn't see why he could possibly be mad about him and Dez conspiring at his expense.

"I have nothing to say to anyone. _I'm fine!_"

"Do you know how many times you've repeated that you're fine?" Patrick finally seemed a little irritated as well. "You're in _rehab._ You're _not_ fine!"

"Then why don't you tell me what's wrong with me? Because I have no fucking idea," Austin spat back. "Tell me, so I can maybe finally understand why everybody keeps freaking out so much."

Patrick shook his head, back in his composed-therapist stance. "If I tell you it won't make a difference. You'll just say I'm wrong, in the same denial behavior you've showed since you've got here."

"I'm not in denial!"

"As a professional, I would disagree."

He was so damn frustrating. What did he have to do to convince him there was nothing wrong with him? He wasn't an addict, he had no need for a shrink, nor for rehab.

"Austin, if I released you right now, what would be the first thing you'd do?"

Austin frowned, took aback by the question. "I don't know..."

"Sure you do. Think about it."

"I would go meet my friends, I guess."

"For a drink?"

Austin sighed. "What would be so wrong with that? I'm sure even you have a drink with your friends, once in a while."

"Well, for starters you're still underage. But I guess that doesn't matter when you're a celebrity, does it?" his condescending tone was really irritating. "It wouldn't be just a drink, though, would it? It would be a few drinks, maybe a joint, maybe even a few pills. You would hook up with your girlfriend, wake up the next day with a headache and blurred memories, and down another glass of your favorite kind of hard liquor to make the bad feelings go away. Then you'll get back to work and it'll feel great at first, before your first meeting with the press. They're gonna ask you about rehab and you'll give them some bullshit about how you're grateful for the experience, how it helped you grow, or whatever your publicists will deem appropriate. But they won't just let it go, paparazzi will keep following you everywhere, trying to get your attention. Snap more pictures of you and your friends, your family, your girlfriend. Sooner or later the story will get out that you're still partying hard in your free time and your fans will start losing hope in you. There will be another hot teen idol to take your place, you'll start to fade into the shadows. People will stop taking you seriously and you will stop selling out. And if you don't have a drinking problem now, I assure you you will in a couple of years. You're nineteen, Austin. You have your whole future ahead of you."

Silence filled the room after Patrick stopped talking, and Austin could almost hear his own heart beating fast against his chest. He should've been totally unaffected by his words, but he wasn't. His palms were sweaty and his throat closed up. He was _afraid_, afraid that he might've actually been right. That maybe everything had not been fine. Maybe he was actually losing control.

He gripped the arms of the chair, teeth already digging through the inside of his cheek, biting hard enough to make himself feel pain. He could almost physically feel the struggle inside his brain between the part of him that still fiercely held on to the believe that there was nothing wrong with what he did, and the other that was starting to see what everyone was talking about.

"I don't—you can't know that," his attempt of a protest sounded pathetic even to him.

"Austin, I'm gonna stop being your therapist for a minute, alright?" said Patrick, joining his hands on the desk. He waited a few beats before his expression changed from unnaturally unperturbed to severe and strict, kinda resembling the perennial face of Mr. Carley, Austin's high school basketball coach.

"Get your head out of your ass and start to think about ways to deal with your crap, without blaming everyone else around you for it."

It lasted five seconds, just like he'd predicted. A moment later he was back to his therapist-smirk, getting way too much satisfaction in seeing his patient's shocked expression.

"You know what, I think that's all we're gonna be able to cover today. I'm gonna let you go early, with the hope you'll spend the rest of the hour thinking about what we've said today."

Austin got up robotically, nodded in Patrick's direction and headed for the door.

By the time he'd reached his room, his mind felt like an overheated computer. He rubbed his temples, trying to shake the feeling away, trying to forget everything Patrick had told him, but he couldn't. Every word was still annoyingly ringing in his ears. He threw himself on his bed and decided he would spend the rest of his afternoon sleeping. With no alcohol allowed on the premise, it was the only way he knew that would've helped him shut his brain up.

He stared at the ceiling, trying to slip into unconsciousness and finding it terribly hard to. His head kept buzzing, keeping him awake with a flood of haphazard thoughts, too many to actually make sense. He remembered how much he'd loathed the apathy he'd experienced so frequently in the time that had preceded rehab, and now he would've given anything to get back into that state.

He took his phone from his jeans pocket, turned it on and selected Trent's number from the contact list. He answered after only a few rings.

"Hey bro, I was starting to think you missed Kira more than me."

"What?" he was too confused to pick up on the sarcasm.

"You know, you've talked to her every day and I haven't heard from you since you checked yourself in!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that."

"You didn't happen to hear any rumors, did you?" asked Trent warily after a small pause.

Austin felt a gelid pit dropping in his stomach. Did he sound nervous? Guilty?

"What kind of rumors?"

"Just shit that's been going around about Kira and me," admitted Trent, surprising him. He'd thought he'd been a lot more vague about it. "Just tabloids hoping to sell more copies. Damn leeches."

"You can say that again."

"Yeah, anyway... to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your angel voice?" he laughed, Austin did too, though the reference to the cheating rumors kept bugging him.

"Oh I was just—I don't know. Do you think I actually need to be here?"

"In rehab? To be honest, man, no more than I do." Austin blinked. He didn't know what to think about that. "Though I've never threatened to kill a poor son of a bitch in front of witnesses," Trent added after only a few seconds.

"Shit, why does everybody keep making a big deal about that? It's not like he's ever actually _going_ to sue, he just wants some publicity for himself."

"Yeah, but it _is_ kinda making you look like an asshole. Maybe you should reconsider what your publicists said about an apology."

Austin groaned. "Whatever, I'll think about it once I get out of here."

"Is everything okay, bro? You sound a bit whiney."

"My shrink told me to get my head out of my ass today."

"Charming."

"Yeah, but it still made me wonder if maybe my parents have a point. Maybe I do have issues I need to address."

"Now you're talking crazy, dude. There's nothing wrong with you, it's the biz that's messed up. You're just having fun! Don't let those shits make you think you're crazy for living the life most teenagers live."

Austin didn't answer. He agreed on a superficial level, but part of him still felt uneasy about the whole thing.

"Tell you what, I'll come visit you next week. I'll talk Kira into coming as well, it's gonna be a blast. Who do I talk to for permission?"

"Doctor Hale. Try to sell it to him as though you're actually supporting my treatment, though. They'll never let you in otherwise," he warned. Then he thought about it for a few seconds. "Actually, you should probably have Kira call."

"Sure will. Alright bro, I gotta go. I'll see you next week."

"Can't wait."

Austin put down the phone, not quite sure if his last sentence had been sarcastic or not.

* * *

**an:** Next update is on Friday, review in the meantime if you'd like!


	13. day thirteen (part 1)

**an: **I almost forgot about updating, but I didn't! Here's chapter 13, which I don't like particularly, but sets off all the drama. Anyway, I'll leave you to it.

* * *

_**day thirteen (part 1)**_

When Austin came down for breakfast the morning after, his head heavy after over ten hours of sleep and his stomach complaining against the having skipped dinner, he was greeted by the smell of fresh pastries and bacon. He licked his lips and filled his plate with a bit of everything, ignoring the crave for pancakes—the chef didn't take special orders for breakfast and they weren't available in the buffet—before sitting down next to Trish. Just like at lunch the previous day, Ally was nowhere to be seen.

"Good morning, why'd you skip dinner last night?" asked Trish in an unusual good mood.

"Fell asleep too early. Plus I wasn't that hungry."

"You clearly are _now_," she raised her eyebrows at the amount of food in front of him.

"Well, yeah. I didn't have dinner last night," he smirked as soon as he swallowed a mouthful of sausage. Trish rolled her eyes before relinquishing a small laugh.

"Where's Ally?" he asked, mid-chewing.

"Upstairs. She had breakfast early today."

Austin's gaze fell to his glass of orange juice, mind racing without his permission. Was she avoiding him? What reason would she have to?

"Do you think she's acting different since yesterday?" he wondered. Not that he had any clue, he hadn't seen her in over twenty-four hours.

"Not really. I spent most of yesterday sleeping though, so I'm not your most reliable source."

Austin nodded absentmindedly. He had a weird gut feeling that something bad had happened, or was about to happen. He tried to shrug it off as just hunger.

"Gonna have any visitors today?" asked Trish.

"None that I expect. My friends might come next weekend though, they kinda wanna see what this place is like before I leave it."

"That's right, you have just little over a week left to go, right?"

"Right. That is, unless Patrick decides to prolong my stay, like he keeps saying."

Trish sighed. "I get out soon, too. Wednesday or Thursday at the latest, my shrink has to sign the release papers tomorrow."

"Seriously? I had no idea. Is that why you're so cheerful today?" he smiled.

"Yeah, but mostly because Jace is still in town and is coming to see me," she blushed.

Austin laughed. "Love really is the best medicine, huh?" he joked.

Trish's expression was serious but still soft when she answered. "It really is."

* * *

Jace arrived before Trish could even finish her breakfast and Austin took it as the perfect occasion to go up to her room to see Ally. He knocked on her door almost impatiently and she opened it in a matter of seconds.

"Hey," she said, with a tense smile.

"Hi. Can I come in?"

She stepped aside to let him.

"Remember guys, door stays open!" reminded the stern voice of one of the nurses from the hallway outside. Austin bit his tongue: he hadn't been as careful as usual.

"Of course, Tilly," said Ally, a bit too loud.

She smiled awkwardly at him and sat down on her bed, while putting her hair up in a messy bun that exposed the pearly white skin of her neck. He found himself staring at her before her voice jolted him back to reality. "What's up?"

Austin shrugged. "I haven't seen you around yesterday, I thought we could hang out."

Ally sent a nervous gaze to the open door. "Tilly knows you're here. I don't think it's the wisest idea," she pointed out, her voice down to a hush.

Austin frowned. It was true that the staff wasn't particularly keepn on patients hanging out someone else's room, but as long as Ally said it was okay and they left the door open it wasn't really a problem, and they could always go outside, if it really looked that bad. Then he got it.

"What? No I wasn't talking about _that_."

Ally looked taken aback by the statement. "Oh."

"We can just chat, can't we? Without taking our clothes off, I mean." He sat down on Trish's bed.

Ally tugged at the hem of her skirt, looking rather uncomfortable. "Um—sure, we can." He smiled at her, hoping to put her a bit more at ease, and she returned his smile, though she still looked somewhat tense. "What do you wanna talk about?"

It took Austin a while to think about something to say. He hadn't expected Ally to be so formal about the whole thing and he hadn't really come in with an idea or a conversation planned out. He ended up telling her about his therapy session the day before, and what Patrick had said about him needing to understand his problem.

Ally listened quietly, chewing on her lower lip. "So, did he change your mind?" she asked, after he was done.

Austin thought about it for a few seconds. It had definitely made him nervous about going back to the real world, made him question his capability to handle his own fame. Still, he had no idea what Patrick wanted him to do.

"He probably just wants you to admit you have a problem," suggested Ally, after he'd voiced his concerns.

Austin sighed. "I think it's more than that."

She didn't answer and after a while he looked up at her, a spark of curiosity in his eyes. He quickly went over the very short list of things he knew about her once again: grew up in Miami, rich dad, mom knew Patrick, played piano, had stage fright, lost her virginity to the quarterback of her high school football team in his car, had a long term relationship with a guy named Elliot who lived in West Palm Beach. She also maybe had an eating disorder.

"How's your therapy going?"

She tensed up again. "The usual."

"What's the usual? You've never told me anything about it."

She winced. "That's because there's nothing to tell. I sit down, talk, get up, and leave. Same as you."

Austin stared at her, no longer smiling. He didn't want to push her into telling him more about it, because it really wasn't any of his damn business, but he couldn't help but feeling a little hurt by her clear lack of trust in him.

"You know you can talk to me, if you need to," he told her, searching her eyes.

She hugged her own thin frame with both arms. "There's nothing to say."

"Alright. Hey, do you wanna go outside and enjoy some sun rays?" he decided to change the subject.

"Actually, I'm kinda waiting for someone."

"A visitor?"

"Yeah, he should be here soon."

Austin nodded, trying to feign his disappointment. "Okay, sure. I'll see you around, then."

She smiled but didn't add anything as he walked out of her room. He closed the door behind him and made his way downstairs.

* * *

Ally's visitor turned out to be none other than Elliot, smiling brightly and wearing a hoodie in spite of the scorching temperature.

Austin found out when they came outside and stopped to greet him while he was sunbathing poolside. He blinked a couple of times behind his aviators, unable to think for an ill-timed amount of seconds, while the guy smiled at him and Ally looked uncomfortable. A moment later they were gone, choosing to sit down on a couple of deck chairs on the opposite side of the pool. Austin spent most of the following two hours watching them from afar, feeling like a creepy stalker but not really giving a shit, too busy asking himself why he kept cringing every time they touched each other.

Ally wasn't his girlfriend, he knew that very well. He had no claim on her, and didn't want to be the kind of guy who believed he owned every single girl he'd fooled around with. Still, it upset him that she was flirting with her ex right in front of him, seemingly not caring at all about his possible reaction. Was the thought of him being jealous actually the furthest thing from her mind?

Austin took off his sunglasses to rub first his eyes, then his face.

It was fine, he was overthinking. Ally and Elliot were broken up, nothing was gonna happen anyway. And even if it did, it was none of his business, right? He still had a girlfriend, after all. He should've been spending more time feeling guilty about cheating than paranoid about whomever Ally was seeing.

He grabbed one of the magazines from the pile next to him and tried to focus on an article about Japanese finance to get his mind off of things. Needless to say, his commitment to it didn't last very long, especially with Ally's laughter filling his ears from afar. He got up and gathered his things before heading inside without looking back. He picked a random chair and fished his phone out of the pocket.

His publicist had highly recommended he stayed off social medias during his time in rehab. Not that he was much in control before. He sent out a couple of tweets everyday to keep his fans interested, but hardly ever bothered with the replies. He was used to a bunch of them being insults, anyway. He hadn't opened his Twitter app in two weeks and his thumb lingered over it for quite a while before he decided to check what was going on. He didn't even look at the notifications, going straight to Kira's profile instead.

_Having the time of my life with T-Fame! Don't we look adorbs? #bffs_

Austin tapped on the linked picture and found himself staring at his girlfriend kissing his grinning best friend on the cheek.

"Fuck you," he muttered, before closing the app and opening his messages instead.

_We need to talk._

He typed, then sent the text before he could stop to brood about it.

"Hey Austin Moon, why the long face?"

He turned to see Elliot standing next to him, smiling at him in a way that would've made anyone uncomfortable.

"I'm fine," he grunted, not even bothering to be nice. Ally didn't seem to be around, anyway.

"You don't look fine. Does it have anything to do with me being here?"

"Fuck off, Elliot. I'm not in the mood."

Elliot raised his hands in defense, still however looking awfully smug, in a way that made Austin want to punch him. "Chill, dude. Just making conversation."

"Thought you were here to hang with Ally," he pointed out, annoyed.

"I am, she's talking to some shrink. She's gonna show me her room, next."

Austin didn't answer, he just stared at the black screen of his phone as if it were the most interesting thing ever. Elliot didn't bulge.

"It's the least she can do, you know," he continued, casually. "After she let you fuck her in my car."

Austin froze. How the hell had he found out about that? Had she told him? That seemed extremely unlikely. Had he noticed that the key had been moved? Or had they not driven the car back to its original spot? Maybe, he didn't quite remember. But still, from _that_ to get that they'd had sex in it was a pretty huge guess.

They looked at each other, one cold and the other cautious. He was not gonna admit to anything unless shown proof. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, Moon," he scoffed. "Or were you so stoned you don't even remember it?"

Austin didn't answer, but he didn't look down, either. He knew what he had done had not been cool, not even close, but he still could not find it in himself to feel sorry about it. He didn't like the guy, he was a fucking prick and Austin had no idea why Ally had ever liked him.

"Oh well, maybe I can refresh your memory." Elliot reached for his back pocket and dropped something black and lacy on Austin's lap. He didn't have to look closely to know it was the underwear Ally had been wearing on Friday and that she must have left in the car. He cursed under his breath and quickly stuffed it in his pocket before anyone could notice it.

"I must admit, I don't know how things work in celebrity-land," was saying Elliot in the meantime, "But I'm pretty damn sure that screwing one's _ex_ in their car is considered _rude_ even there."

"Listen, it's not what you think—"

"Save the pity story about how you were too horny to contain yourselves. Don't worry, I'm here to return the favor," he stopped to smirk. "I just hope she's as good as I remember her."

Austin stood up, chair loudly tipping over behind him, wrists clenched. Wrong move, now every single person in the room was staring at them: it would've made it very hard for him to punch him in the stomach.

"So you're just gonna use her for your own goddamned vendetta?" he hissed, poison filling his mouth.

"Why are you so upset, Austin? She was mine first."

Well, apparently Elliot was _that_ kind of guy.

"You really think she's gonna sleep with you if you treat her like property?"

"I guess I'm gonna find out."

The last smirk sent Austin over the edge and, without even thinking about it, he punched him straight in the face, hitting his jaw and hurting his hand like hell. They both swore out loud, one clutching his wrist and the other leaning over in pain. Hands were around Austin's arms before he could even think about a second blow to hopefully break his nose.

"_What the hell happened?!_"

To Austin's horror, Ally was rushing at Elliot's side, her hands on his shoulder and chin to check for any damage to his face. She turned towards Austin, who was still being restrained by at least to people in spite of his lack of struggling, her eyes flaming.

"What is your fucking problem?" she yelled, way more furious than he would've expected.

"He's a _dick_!"

"Enough, Mr Moon. Follow us, please."

There was nothing else to say as he was dragged away, and the last thing he saw was Elliot's hidden, smug smile.

* * *

**an: **As always I want to thank all the wonderful people who follow, favorite and review this story. I hope you enjoyed this chapter (please let me know!) and I will see you on Tuesday! much love xx


	14. day thirteen (part 2)

_**day thirteen (part 2)**_

They had him wait alone in Patrick's office for what felt like hours, his hand throbbing and mind racing to the worst possible scenarios, most of which included him being shipped in a rehab facility in North Korea and Ally being violently murdered by a drunk Elliot after years of broken marriage.

When the door finally opened, he shot up.

"You have to get that guy away from Ally!" he shouted, turning around towards whom he expected to be Patrick, but turned out to be the dark-haired woman who'd introduced him the first day.

She looked surprised for a few seconds, but then just smiled softly.

"Sit down, Mr Moon. I think we should have a talk."

Austin obeyed, his mouth suddenly dry, while he tried to remember the therapist's name.

She slowly walked towards and around the desk, sitting on Patrick's usual spot as if she'd done it countless times already. She joined her hands under her chin, her eyes scanning him quizzically.

"Did they get you some ice for that hand?" she asked, after a few long seconds.

Austin shook his head, still unable to talk. She frowned and pulled the office phone towards her, lifting the receiver with one hand as she dialed two numbers with the other.

"Tilly? It's doctor Friedman. Bring up an icepack for Mr Moon's hand, please. We're in doctor Hale's office."

She hung up as soon as she got the confirmation from the other end and went back to staring at Austin.

"Do you know, Mr Moon, that we have a non-dating policy for our live-in patients?" she very slowly asked.

Austin gulped, his mouth even drier. "I've heard about it."

"Do you know this policy is particularly strict when it comes to teenagers?"

He nodded.

"Do you know why?"

"I'm nineteen," he felt the sudden urge to clarify.

She tilted her eyebrows. "Yes, and Miss Dawson is seventeen."

"What?" his surprise was authentic. He'd thought Ally to be at least a year older.

Doctor Friedman nodded. "To be fair, she'll be eighteen in a couple of months. Still, you are _both_ teenagers and, as such, forbidden to have sex while recovered in our facility."

Austin didn't answer. He knew better than to admit something like that. He didn't want Ally to get in trouble as well.

"We don't want to have to explain to parents why we didn't keep an eye on their children if they come home pregnant, or with an STD. This is a place of cure, not some kind of school trip where you can just hook up."

Her voice was firm, but she didn't look angry. Tired maybe, but still very professional, and she definitely had a point.

"I understand," he said, nodding slightly.

She smiled. "Mr Moon, are you in a sexual relationship with Miss Dawson?"

Austin shook his head, maybe a little too quickly. "No, I'm not."

"Do you have feelings for her?"

He bit the inside of his cheek. Did he? Of course he did. Could he say that to her shrink, though?

"I—don't know."

She gave him a condescending look that irritated him the slightest. "Are you sure?"

He sighed. "Okay, maybe I do. But I have a girlfriend."

"So you're not gonna act on said feelings towards her?"

"No, I'm not."

"Alright," she joined her hands over the desk. "May I know why you hit Miss Dawson's boyfriend?"

Austin felt a prick of painful jealousy in his chest. "He's not her boyfriend."

"That's not what he thought when he asked for visitation rights."

"He was lying! He told me they're not together anymore. And how did he get to visit so soon? Don't you have to ask three days before or something?" questioned Austin, now definitely irritated.

"Given the situation, I thought Miss Dawson would benefit from getting a visitor," she explained.

"What situation?"

"That, Mr Moon, is a private matter. I would however love to know how you knew for sure that Elliot didn't call three days ago."

Austin cursed himself. He knew because Elliot didn't even know that Ally was in Palm Beach until they'd seen him on Friday night. He couldn't tell her that, though, because he would've had to admit to sneaking out. He sighed.

"That's a private matter also," he weakly tried.

She furrowed her brow, but didn't protest. Maybe she didn't care that much about it.

"Okay, let's try this again. Why did you punch Elliot?" she asked a second time.

"He was being a dick."

"Care to elaborate?"

Austin rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry I caused a scene. I really am. I should've counted to ten and ignored him and all that shit and I will next time, I promise. Right now, though, I would really like to talk to Ally, please."

"Miss Dawson is with her visitor right now."

"NO! You have to get him out of here! He's not a good person!" he yelled, urgency dripping out of every single one of his words.

"He seems like a perfect gentleman, actually. And Miss Dawson is really fond of him," observed doctor Friedman.

"That's because she doesn't know what I know!"

Doctor Friedman sighed. "Mr Moon, how long have you known Elliot for?"

"I—look, that's not important. I know what kind of guy he is."

"Miss Dawson has known him since she was seven years old."

Austin opened and closed his mouth several times, unable to say anything. The situation was getting shittier by the minute, and he was trapped in that damned room while Elliot was trying to get into Ally's pants somewhere in that same building and she had no idea about what he'd told him. How he'd spoken about her and how he just wanted to fuck her to get back at him.

"He's gonna try to have sex with her! He told me!" he desperately admitted.

"I can assure you, Mr Moon, the nurses are keeping an eye on them. I doubt they're gonna be able to have sex without anyone noticing."

Was that the reason she had believed him so easily when he'd denied having had sex with Ally? Because she didn't think it was actually possible without her knowing about it? Austin rolled his eyes.

"In any case, don't you trust Ally to be responsible for herself? If this guy is really such a bad influence on her, don't you think she'll know better than to have sex with him?"

Austin sunk deeper into his chair. She had a point, but he wasn't really a hundred percent sure that Ally knew what a dick Elliot could be. She'd definitely looked flirty enough with him earlier at the pool. But why, if on Friday she'd been the one to suggest hooking up in his car? Had she done it just because she was high? Had Austin screwed up somehow? She had been weird that morning too, after all.

Tilly the nurse knocked and came in a moment later with an icepack wrapped in a towel that she put on Austin's hand.

"That took long enough," pointed out doctor Friedman.

"I'm sorry, doc," she said, her head low.

She waited to be dismissed to exit and when she did, she closed the door behind her.

"I'm gonna have to call your parents, Mr Moon," said the doctor, after a minute of silence. "And talk to doctor Hale about making your therapy hours longer. Perhaps you should meet with your meditation instructor for private lessons, too. It'll help with the anger management."

Austin kept looking at his knees without giving any sign he'd heard her. She didn't seem to mind.

"You're gonna be confined in your room for the rest of the day, dinner will be brought to you up there as well. I advise you get some rest, you have a busy schedule tomorrow," she went on, and when he kept ignoring her, she just sighed. "You're dismissed."

He got up, keeping the ice on his hand, and walked out of the room. He would've felt like punching a wall, if his hand hadn't already been bruised. He pondered trying to find Ally, but doctor Hale was waiting for him at the end of the hall and, without a word, walked him all the way to his room.

Austin let himself fall on the bed with a frustrated groan and punched the pillow with his healthy hand a couple of times. He had a feeling there was already a nurse guarding his door from outside. He cursed loudly to the empty room. He felt fucking powerless and he loathed the facility more than he ever had.

He found his phone in his pocket together with Ally's panties. He threw the latter against the wall in frustration before searching for Ally's name in his contact list.

_Don't trust Elliot_

He sent the text and waited. She didn't answer.

* * *

Dez came back sometime after dinner and, catching his uncomfortable gaze, Austin didn't find it in himself to be angry at him anymore, so he smiled at him. Dez smiled too.

"Did they bring you food?" he asked, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, Patrick did. Then I had to eat with him staring at me and saying nothing."

Dez nodded. "Yeah, he's a quiet one. Likes to observe."

Austin looked down and waited a few beats, while his roommate took off his shoes and slipped his laptop out from under his pillow.

"I'm sorry about freaking out," he told him.

"I'm sorry I tried to manipulate you into talking."

"You had good intentions..."

"Still, I'm sorry."

They smiled at each other again, this time much more relaxed.

"Maybe there is something wrong with me," sighed Austin, lying down on his bed.

"It's probably just the stress of the business," offered Dez.

Austin looked at him long and hard, wheels turning into his head. Sure, the business was stressful, but there were plenty of celebrities who didn't let it affect them. Plenty who managed to find a way to actually keep their lives private and their slips out of the press's eye. Sure, it was different with stars like him. The whole world was looking at him and expecting him to fail at every moment, so he was pretty much bound to at some point.

"Can I see your laptop?" he asked Dez, still lost in thought.

"Sure."

He walked to his roommate's bed and pulled he computer towards him, then he opened the browser and looked up his own name. Hundreds of links popped up in a matter of seconds, most of them about rehab and the rumored Kira and T-Fame relationship. He clicked to the first one at random and within five minutes he was immersed in reports about the escapades of the previous year. The partying, dismissing his own fans, feuding with celebrities, insulting paparazzi, being late for work, canceling events for no reason. He quickly read through long articles about the dancer he'd fought with, trying to remember the real story without much success. He was high on something when it had happened and truly didn't recall sounding so aggressive, but it wasn't implausible.

"I'm an asshole," he said, in a low voice.

Dez didn't say anything, he just stared at him with slight worry in his eyes.

"I always thought that tabloids made most of this stuff up and sure, it's not all real, but still... I—I spent most of this year either high, drunk or hungover. No wonder everybody hates me."

"You'd never googled yourself before?"

"No, I—no."

Austin kept staring at the screen, no longer reading as his brain fired question after question he didn't have answers for. He remembered his last English teacher explaining about epiphanies some years before when he was still in school, and he guessed that was what he was having. An epiphany. He was looking at his own life from a whole different perspective and it scared him. Was that the person he really was? Or just the jerk the press had wished him to become?

"Do you want me to call Patrick?" asked Dez, after a few long minutes of silence.

"No, it's fine... I'll just sleep it off."

He got up and walked towards the bathroom to take a shower. He didn't want to talk to Patrick, he wanted to talk to Ally.

* * *

**an: **Hello! I hope you liked this chapter! The next one will be kind of a dramatic one I guess, but in chapter 16 you'll start to learn a bit about Ally's past and the reason why she is in rehab, I know many of you have been waiting for that! I know I made Elliot a pretty huge jerk in this story, it's only for plot reasons though (I needed a jerk), I have absolutely nothing against the character in the show. Anyway, I guess I can tell you he's not gonna appear in the flesh anymore. You can look forward to another pretty huge jerk who will definitely stir things up (any guesses on who he is?) I am a couple of chapters away from the ending, and if everything goes according to plan the story should have about 24 chapters. I went through a bit of a writer's block last week and I literally couldn't write a word for days, but now it looks like it has past and I think I will be able to finish the story in the next two weeks. After I do, I might update more often (like three times a week, or even every other day, if I get more reviews).

Gosh, I thought I had nothing to say but I'm actually ranting! I'll sign off here, but not before I thank all of you for your wonderful support. I couldn't have gotten so far with this story if it hadn't been for everyone who reads and sends me such nice comments. I love you all 3

See you next friday! Please keep letting me know what you think! xx


	15. day fourteen

_**day fourteen**_

Art therapy consisted in about ten patients sitting in a circle, each with a white canvas on an easel in front of them, with a wide range of different art supplies to choose from. The only rule was that once started, the art piece had to be finished before moving on to something else.

"Art doesn't know what a mistake is," was the motto of the old art teacher who came every Monday and Wednesday to oversee art therapy and teach about different techniques.

Austin had never had a particular talent when it came to art, so he pretty much spent the duration of the hour drawing circles on his canvas in different sizes and colors. The art teacher loved it, he didn't think it was anything exceptional, especially when compared to the incredibly detailed watercolor landscape the forty-something man who sat next to him was working on.

Ally sat on the opposite side of the circle, and that perhaps was the only reason why he hadn't yet died of boredom that morning. He sent her occasional looks trying to meet her gaze, which sadly she kept glued to her work. He had missed her at breakfast once again and she hadn't acknowledged his text in any way, so his best guess was that she was still mad at him for punching Elliot. Understandable, but not if she'd known the whole story.

He decided to take the bull from the horns and as soon as they were told to clean up before proceeding to their next activity, he was beside her in front of the sink. She was trying to clean the glue from a paintbrush.

"Hey, I think we should talk," he said almost too quickly, trying to keep his voice down.

She didn't look at him. "I think talking is overrated."

He gave her a puzzled glance when she gave up on the paintbrush and her wet hand closed around his wrist. He caught a gleam in her expression that was hard to identify, seen that she still hadn't met his eyes. She made sure no one was looking before dragging him into the supply closet.

"I—I thought you were mad at me," he stuttered into the darkness.

She answered by drawing him into a kiss, her freezing wet hands on his neck giving him chills. He kissed her back, not quite sure about what was happening. One second she was ignoring him, the next they were making out in the supply closet? He wasn't the kind of guy to rely on logic to figure stuff out, but he was kind of regretting its lack in the situation.

"It's not about feelings, okay?" she whispered when she came out for air. "It's about hooking up. It's always been about hooking up." And she was kissing him again.

Not about feelings? What did that mean, that he couldn't have any? Had the thought that it might've been to late never crossed her mind? He wasn't in love with her—or at least he didn't think so—but he cared about her. Was he not allowed to do that, either?  
Her hand below his belt stopped his train of thoughts abruptly.

"Why are you so distracted?" she asked, her fingernails tickling the skin just below his navel.

Austin smiled, suddenly much more keen on focusing on the present, and pushed her against the wall while kissing her hard, stealing a soft giggle from her lips. It was then that he realized he had missed her. Not just for the sex, he had missed her laugh too. Her smell, delicate but capturing, the softness of her skin, that pungent way she used to describe the world.

He trailed the tip of his nose across her cheek while his fingers found the first buttons of her blouse. He started kissing her neck, encouraged by her sighs and her hands knotting into his hair. He pushed her curls aside for better access and it was then that he saw it, a bruise barely visible in the dim lights but still, undeniably there. He gently ran a finger over it before stepping back and letting her go, confusion and hurt mixed in his expression just like in his head.

"What the fuck, Ally."

She covered her neck with her hand, awareness quickly replacing her initial perplexity.

He knew hickeys well enough to recognize one when he saw it, and he was sure he hadn't been the one to give it to her, just as he was sure her neck had been bruise-less the previous morning, before Elliot had gotten there.

"You had sex with him," he said, quietly. It wasn't a question nor an accusation, merely a statement.

"That's none of your business," she tried, but he was sure even she could hear the weakness of her tone.

"It's not, is it?" he shook his head, disappointment clenching around his stomach.

He had somehow managed to convince himself that she would not sleep with Elliot, that she'd have better judgement and a bit more regard for his feelings. Apparently, he had been dead wrong, and she was even trying not to sound guilty.

"Why would it be? He's your boyfriend, I'm just the guy you've been screwing when you get bored."

Anger flashed in her eyes. "You should get off your high fucking horse, Austin. It's not like I'm the love of your life. You have a girlfriend, you're telling me you wouldn't touch her if she came to visit?"

Austin answered with a glare, truthfully not really sure about how to answer. Though he had no idea what he would do upon seeing Kira again, she had a point. And they had never even defined their relationship, so technically they didn't owe anything to each other.

Still, it fucking hurt. He opened the door of the utility closet and walked out while she was still fixing her blouse. Everybody else had left, and they were probably late for group therapy. He stopped halfway to the exit, realizing he couldn't leave, that he needed some sort of explanation, even an excuse. He turned around to watch her come out as well and close the door behind her.

"Are you in love with Elliot?" he asked, almost out of the blue.

She sighed. "I'm not in love with anyone."

"So you just screw around for fun? Are you one of those girls who believe they're above it all?" He knew he was probably out of line, but he needed to understand. Not really the situation, because that was pretty damn clear already, he needed to understand _her_.

"Stop trying to figure me out! You don't get to judge me, Austin!" she protested, her voice now much louder than his.

"I just don't get you! You keep shutting me out and I need to know _why_," he got closer, a pleading look in his eyes. She looked away. "I care about you."

Ally shook her head. "Don't—just don't."

Her voice was broken and its sharpness hit him hard in the chest. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her, hoping that she would meet his eyes.

"That's fucked up. Why wouldn't you want me to care?"

"Because you care _too much,_" she breathed, and finally looked at him. Her eyes were big and glassy and he found out that looking into them hurt like hell.

He fought the impulse to let her go. "And that's a bad thing?"

Her expression was hard now, resolute. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I thought you didn't care about me."

"I never said that."

Austin closed his eyes and, before he knew it, his forehead was against hers. He wanted to scream at her, to tell her she was an idiot, that she was heartless and selfish. He also wanted to kiss her, hold her close and never let her go. To find out why she was so reluctant to trust the world and keep her from harm for the rest of her life.

"I'm sorry I had sex with Elliot," she whispered. She sounded like she was crying. He'd never seen her cry.

He didn't answer. He didn't want to forgive her, but had nothing else to say.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Deep down he didn't want that, but he nodded. He truly couldn't see how things could go back to the way they were, anyway. Maybe some part of him still wanted to fight for her, but he didn't think she wanted him to, and wasn't sure he'd have the strength for it.

He kissed her forehead before letting her go and walking away, without looking back.

* * *

Austin skipped dinner that night to go shoot some hoops outside, by himself. He'd been brooding about Ally all day and the bitterness in his mouth made it hard for him to think about eating. He'd figured bouncing a basketball hard against the ground would be a nice alternative.

He was trying to convince himself that he'd made the right decision, that he had to leave Ally behind and focus on other things like his recovery, his image, his career and his girlfriend. He couldn't. As much as he wanted to move on, he still felt like there was unfinished business between them. He hadn't even ended up telling her the whole truth about Elliot, and he was actually worried that they had in fact gotten back together, and she would never find out the scum he was made of.

The scenarios about a violent marriage ending in brute homicide came back to haunt his mind, and he tried to shrug them off by focusing on the rhythmic, hollow sound of rubber against the concrete.

"So is basketball one of your many talents?"

Austin caught the ball with both hands and turned, finding Patrick standing a few feet away from him, arms crossed and a half-amused look on his face.

"It releases the stress."

Patrick nodded. "I agree," he gestured Austin to pass him the ball and, once he had it, took a shot. The ball hit the iron before bouncing through the hoop with a swish.

"Impressive," admitted Austin, with a small nod.

Patrick shrugged. "I used to play in high school."

"Me too, before I started my career."

"Do you miss it?"

Austin frowned at the unexpected question. "I can still play whenever I want."

"I mean high school. Do you ever wish you got to finish it?"

Austin walked to retrieve the ball without answering. Honestly, his career had brought him so much that he hardly had time to think about what he was sacrificing for it, his youth being part of it.

"Not really, I mean—I get to have the life I've always dreamed of. Doesn't high school have the reputation of being emotionally scarring?"

Patrick laughed. "Yeah. I do think staying in school would've kept you more grounded, though."

Austin bounced the ball a couple of times before throwing it through the hoop one more time. He didn't know what to say, really. Sure, as a high school student he would've had to struggle more to get access to drugs that when you were a celebrity were just there, but high school students still knew how to get drunk and high. If anything, they had to be sneakier about it.

He guessed he could've been a different person if he'd stayed in high school, but wasn't quite sure he would've liked it.

"Ally looked sad today."

Austin stopped bouncing the ball. "She did?"

"Yeah, well—sadder than usual."

He gritted his teeth. The whole reason he was there was to try to _stop_ thinking about Ally, but apparently the universe was against him.

"Did something happen between you two?"

Austin looked away, regretting the impulse immediately. As a shrink, Patrick was probably trained to notice any sign of uncomfortableness and would know if he was lying.

"We just decided that it's better if we each live our own lives," he vaguely explained.

Patrick frowned. "So, if you stopped being friends?"

"I guess," he tightened his grip on the ball. "I mean, it's not like it was working out, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

Austin shrugged. "She never—she never really opened up to me, you know?"

Patrick smiled. "Did you?"

"I think so. I mean, it's different with me. The whole world knows about my problems," he pointed out, before turning around and shooting again. This time, the ball hit the iron and bounced back, landing on the ground a few feet away from him. Patrick picked it up.

"But the world doesn't know how you feel about them."

Austin lowered his gaze. He was right, it wasn't right to accuse Ally to shut him out, when he hadn't ever invited her in himself.

"Maybe you should give her a second chance."

* * *

**an: **Before you all get mad at me for having Ally sleep with Elliot, please remember that this is a scenario where Ally has known Austin for two weeks and Elliot since she was little. Where Austin is a guy she knows very little about and probably doesn't trust completely, while Elliot was pretty much the love of her life. Also, she had no idea about what Elliot told Austin. More will be explained in later chapters, so you should stick around and keep reading! This story has a happy ending, I promise.

The next three chapters will be very Ally-centric, and I promise you'll get some of the answer you've been waiting and asking for. I'm so sorry for the two days delay! I'm gonna post the new chapter on Tuesday like on schedule. Please review in the meantime! I love reading what you think about the story and your support is what inspires me the most.

Thank you so much for reading this story! I'll see you in two days! xx


	16. day sixteen

_**day sixteen**_

It took Austin forty-nine hours of not seeing her to realize how much she'd made rehab bearable for him. Avoiding her had been unexpectedly easy, but he guessed the main reason for that was that she was going out of her way not to see him as well. He missed her and he felt like an idiot because by then he knew that it was too late to go back on his word.

The crazy thing was, he was actually still mad at her for being an idiot and shutting him out, even if he did understand why she'd done it. Even if he missed her like crazy, even if her absence had started to physically hurt.

He couldn't master how he'd grown so attached to her. He'd known her for two weeks and had spent most of his time alone with her having sex. When had it happened? And more importantly, how could he make it go away?

It was Wednesday morning and he was stepping out of the shower and into the hot bathroom air. The sky outside was cloudy but the temperature was as merciless as usual. He usually enjoyed the heat, but couldn't stand the idleness it brought by. He needed to keep his mind occupied with physical activities, but couldn't find the strength to when he was confined to the air-conditioned inside. Even meditating poolside earlier that morning had been quite literally hell-like.

He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked back into the room just as someone knocked on the door. Without thinking he opened it, and found himself in front of a very red-faced Ally.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, impulsively deciding not to bother with formalities.

She gulped. "Trish is leaving tomorrow morning, we're throwing her a going away party tonight," she explained, keeping her gaze locked somewhere above his eyes. "It's gonna be poolside after dinner, everyone is coming."

It took him longer than it should've to realize the reason her cheeks were still flushed was his clothing—or _lack_ of. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable himself. Not that she hadn't already seen—well, all of him—but it was different now that they were back to being strangers. The thought stung a little.

"Sure, sounds fun. Is it a surprise?"

"We're trying to make it one," she smiled, he nodded.

"Won't say a word."

"Cool."

They looked at each other, clearly not sure about how to end the small encounter. There was not much more to say, really, except for all the things he had no idea how to tell her.

She bit her lip, her eyes now low on the ground. He was expecting her to leave, but she wordlessly stood where she was.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and he wasn't quite sure if she would understand that he wasn't asking about that moment specifically, but in general since they'd stopped seeing each other.

"Not really," she admitted, with a shrug. She looked at him again with a sad smile. "I miss you."

He wouldn't have expected her to admit it. Hell, he wouldn't have expected her to ever talk to him again. He stepped aside without a word and she walked in. He checked to see no one had seen her before closing the door behind her.

When he turned, she was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, face flushed once again.

"I miss you too," he admitted, after a couple of seconds of silence.

She hugged her own small frame with both arms. "I realized that you were my only friend in here, and now Trish is leaving... I feel lonely, I guess."

Austin nodded. "I should get dressed. Give me a second, okay? Then we'll talk."

Her eyes followed his movements as he grabbed a tee shirt and a pair of boxers from his bureau and disappeared into the bathroom. He put the clothes on quickly, not really worrying about the fact that his skin was still wet. When he walked back outside, he almost expected her to be gone, but she was sitting on his bed, hands resting on her lap and eyes fixed on them. He cleared his voice before he sat down next to her and she looked up at him, smiling slightly.

"We did this all wrong," he sighed, his gaze falling to her lips. She didn't answer, and he took her silence as a cue to elaborate. "I wanted to be your friend, not just someone you slept with occasionally." He realized there was hurt in his voice, and she did too. When he looked back into her eyes, he found them filled with remorse.

"I should've let you be my friend," she agreed, speaking quietly.

"Do you think it's too late?" he asked, unable to mask the slightly hopeful tone.

She looked down, and he knew her answer. She didn't know. He didn't know, either. He bit the inside of his cheek while his eyes traveled around the room, thinking about something to say to break the impasse. Something to maybe prove to her that he trusted her and cared about her and was serious about wanting to get to know her better and be her friend.

"I drink to escape the numbness of celebrity life."

His sudden statement surprised both of them. Him especially, he thought, because he had never admitted anything like that to himself before. For some reason, he'd felt the need to tell her. "Ever since I became famous, I've felt this void around me. I don't know who my friends really are, I feel like everyone wants something from me, and I don't really have anything to give them. Drinking, partying and stuff make me feel less empty inside."

When he found the courage to look at her, her eyes were filled with tears.

"I've had trouble eating ever since the guy to whom I've lost my virginity told me I was fat," she said, her voice trembling. He guessed she hadn't admitted that to most people, either. "My mom—she was the only one who could make me feel better about myself and she—she died last year."

Austin couldn't help his shocked expression. He'd never suspected her mom to be dead. He took her hand almost instinctively, reading in her stance and nervous eyes that she wasn't finished, and she would need his strength to let him in on her last secret. "We were in an accident together. I broke my leg and they gave me a prescription for painkillers. I became addicted, and I ended up in here."

Unable to look him in the eyes, she sought refuge into his arms and he welcomed her into his embrace gladly, resting his chin on her head and rubbing her back in a way that he hoped would be comforting. She breathed quietly against his shirt, not crying but still slightly shaking, and he held her close, with no intention of letting her go ever again.

He waited a while before he found the courage to whisper her that she was beautiful, and that she was gonna be okay. That's when she finally started crying, nodding against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and rocked her slowly until she calmed down and when she did, they started talking. They talked about everything. Their feelings, their messed up lives, the hopes and the regrets.

He found out that figuring his shit out was easier when he could talk about it with her, and she didn't judge. She didn't judge even for a second. He didn't either, and listened to her recollection of her freshman year of high school, of how things had started improving a bit after Elliot had become her boyfriend, but had plummeted down again when he'd moved away. How she was already in a dark place when her mother died, and how she'd just wanted to make the pain go away. He told her about his parents' ultimatum and she told him about her dad finding her passed out in his car one morning, when she hadn't even found the strength to drive to school. She had barely been able to graduate high school and had been sent to rehab right after, in hope that she would recover in time to go to college. He admitted that sometimes he regretted his own talent, she confessed to her dreams of writing music professionally, instead of taking over her father's company.

They swore, they cried and they laughed together, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, and he felt relief lifting burden after burden from his chest the more he explained, the more he deconstructed his whole life to make her understand it, and the more she squeezed his hand and told him that it was fine, that he would be able to figure it out, that there were people who were ready to help him and loved him for him, and not his success. She was refreshingly insightful, and she knew not to go too far. As much as Austin was gradually growing fond of Patrick, talking to Ally was ten times better, maybe just because she was there next to him, instead of on the other side of a desk, taking notes and speaking in clinical terms.

They skipped lunch without even realizing and, miraculously enough, Dez had better things to do than to come back to the room and interrupt them.

When they ran out of stories to tell they started asking each other questions. He found out her favorite color was red, her favorite subject history, and that deep down she was a bit of a nerd. She told him she liked pickles better than most things in her life, and he laughed and told her it was the same with him and pancakes. She asked about his family, curious on what his parents were like, and she asked about his career. They figured pretty quickly that they shared a passion for music, and she admitted she had always been a fan of his work. He found her comment more flattering than any positive review he'd ever received.

Noon shifting into late afternoon, he decided that hearing her talk was just as good as having sex with her, probably even better, and he would have never thought it to be possible. He debated telling her that, but figured that he'd exposed himself enough for one day, and also wasn't that eager on bringing up the subject of their previous physical relationship, which had remained religiously untouched in spite of their new discovered honesty policy. It was understood that the decision not to engage in any more sexual encounters was still standing, and he believed it to be wise. After baring their souls to each other, they could've never gone back to fucking with no strings attached, and they both had relationship shit that they had to deal with outside, before thinking about being together that way.

Still, by the time they realized that they were starving and they should go downstairs to eat dinner, they were finally friends, and both quietly knew that this time, it was a relationship that was gonna last.

Austin enjoyed Trish's getting out party more than he thought he would, and the reason why was most likely the tiny brunette who didn't leave his side all night.

* * *

**an: **So I hope that the chapter didn't feel too rushed, considering that is kind of an important one for Austin and Ally's relationship. Anyway, more of Ally's secrets will be uncovered in the next chapters, so be ready for a few more details!

I feel very proud of myself for updating even though it's 2:30AM here, but since it's 2:30AM here I'm dead tired and I'm gonna keep this short & sweet.

Thank you for your continuous support, please keep reviewing! Love you all xx


	17. day eighteen (part 1)

_**day eighteen (part 1)**_

"I'm sure you've heard about twelve-steps programs."

Patrick looked content during their early afternoon session, as he handed him a list printed on a white sheet of paper. Austin took it and looked it over quickly. "Yeah, of course. They talk about them in group therapy all the time."

Patrick nodded. "I usually prefer to give one to my patients towards the end of their stay, rather than the beginning. We've worked on addressing your issues and finding out why you drink, and you've made remarkable progress since your first day," he stopped to smile encouragingly at him, "Doctor Friedman delivered me your dismissal papers this morning, and I'm confident enough that you've recovered and three days from now you'll be perfectly able to go back to normal life."

Austin smiled as well. It was hard to realize that not even three weeks had passed since his arrival. He felt like he'd been staying there for years.

"However, you will face the same pressures and same responsibilities that pushed you towards substance abuse in the first place, and you will always feel the temptation. You never cease to be an alcoholic, you just learn to live with it. Many people find a twelve-step program, together with AA meetings and occasional therapy to be helpful in the adjustment to your new lifestyle."

Austin winced at his use of the word 'alcoholic'. He knew he had a problem, but still had trouble characterizing it as such. He didn't voice any of that, though. Patrick seemed very impressed with him and honestly, he wanted to go home. "Thanks," he said, folding the list and sliding it into his back pocket.

"I also wanted to let you know that I've accepted your friends' request to visit you tomorrow. It's gonna be a nice opportunity to get reacquainted with the outside world before stepping into it."

Austin nodded. He still wasn't sure about how much he wanted to see Trent and Kira, but he knew he'd have to face them sooner or later.

"Thanks," he awkwardly repeated.

Patrick didn't seem to pick up on his discomfort. He stood up to walk him to the door like he often did. "Now don't think I'm gonna go any easier on you in our last few sessions," he warned, with a smile.

Austin laughed, unable to hide a bit of tension. "Wasn't really expecting you to."

Patrick chuckled. "Have a nice day, Austin. I'll see you at dinner."

"Bye."

He closed the door behind him and let out a breath. He didn't know why, his chest felt unusually tight. It was almost like he was scared of the idea of going out, like he suddenly didn't believe he was ready at all. It was weird, he'd been relieved when Patrick had first brought it up, but as soon as he'd suggested that he was somehow sick and would have to be for the rest of his life, something in him had shifted. Sure, he'd come to terms with his using drinking and getting high as a coping mechanism, but he wasn't an addict, was he? He was nothing like Ally, or Dez. He had to find better ways to deal with stress, but give up alcohol all together wasn't something he'd actually seriously considered. He was nineteen and technically not even legal, the fun was supposed to be just starting. He'd resolved he would be more careful, wasn't that enough?

He tried to shrug the feeling off, deciding that it was still early to worry about such things. He had three more days of rehab ahead of him and would have to face his girlfriend—who he'd cheated on repeatedly in the few weeks he'd been there—and his best friend—who according to the paparazzi his girlfriend was cheating on him with—the next day.

He was so deeply lost in his thoughts that he jumped as soon as he realized that Tina the nurse was standing in front of him.

"Um, hey," he greeted, awkwardly.

She looked a bit distressed. "You should come with me," she told him. Then, with no other explanation, she turned around and started walking down the hall.

Austin rushed to follow. "Did something happen?"

"Miss Dawson is refusing to leave her room. She says she only wants to talk to you," she informed him briefly.

Austin felt his already compressed chest tighten a bit more.

"Did—did she tell you why?"

"Just that she needs you."

Her tone was obviously frustrated, and Austin realized that calling him had not been their first plan, but more likely their last resort. He was mostly taken aback by the phrase she'd used. _She needs you_. Austin felt tingling in his stomach. He knew he and Ally had gotten a lot closer in the past few days, but that word—_need_—touched him deeper than he'd have cared to admit. It made their relationship something completely different once again.

They reached Ally's room before he had time to wrap his mind around what was happening. A few nurses and doctor Friedman were waiting outside, and they all looked at him with curiosity and a hint of disapproval. He smiled awkwardly at them, lowering his gaze to the ground after a few short seconds.

Tina poked his shoulder and pointed to the open door. From where he was standing, he couldn't see Ally. He made a few steps in, trying to gather some thoughts into his annoyingly empty mind.

She was coiled up on her bed, hidden completely by the blankets. Or at least he assumed it was her, since there was no one else in the room.

"Ally?" he called, just to be sure.

Her face peaked from under the covers, eyes ridden with suspicion that relaxed a bit as soon as she saw him. She didn't come out though, so he walked to her bed and sat down on it.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly. He could almost feel the stares of half of the clinic's staff on his neck.

Ally sighed. "I don't feel like getting up today," she told him.

Something about the situation brought to his head the image of a child who refuses to go to school. He suppressed a smile. "Why not?"

She didn't answer right away, instead she moved to look beyond him at doctor Friedman and the nurses watching them from the door. She huffed her annoyance.

"Ally, why don't you wanna get up?" he asked again, stealing back her attention.

She took her time to answer, and finally did so after another sigh. "Have you ever wished for time to stop?"

Austin let out a melancholic smile. "Haven't we all?"

"I guess some part of me is convinced that if I just stay in bed, this day won't start," she admitted.

"What's so bad about today?"

She finally met his eyes, and he almost wished she hadn't. The pain in them was so clear he could almost feel it himself. He shuddered but didn't look away with the crazy hope that he could somehow give her enough strength to go on. Part of him was convinced she would never actually tell him, but she cleared her voice and spoke again after a few long seconds.

"Today is my mom's birthday."

Austin felt his heart sink into his stomach. "Oh," he stuttered, feeling utterly useless and unhelpful and hating himself for it.

"Last year today she was still alive. She'd just come back for an expedition and I surprised her with a picnic on the beach. She always came home for her birthdays, you know? She said she'd always want to spend them with her family," her voice broke and Austin instinctively grabbed her hand that was peeking out from the covers. He wasn't sure if it'd helped, since she let out a sob as soon as he did. He pondered letting go, but she was squeezing back. "This is the first time I spend this day without her."

Austin nodded. He didn't want to say that he got what she was feeling, because thank god he had no idea, but could understand her pain. Ally hadn't spent an awful lot of time talking about her late mother, but Austin had gathered from the little she'd said how deep their bond must've been.

"I'm so sorry, Ally," he whispered, knowing that it couldn't have done much to make her feel better, but still fiercely hoping it would.

"You know, I already knew what I was going to get her. I knew even before her birthday last year, but I'd thought about it after I'd already gotten her a present," she said, sniffing. "It was much better than what I had already bought, but I figured I could just get it for her next birthday," she sobbed again, then used her free hand to wipe away some of the tears. "Life fucking sucks, doesn't it."

Austin nodded quietly. She didn't deserve that kind of pain, to have the most important person in her life be ripped away from her that way. He told her that, speaking softly and sincerely while she sobbed into her pillow. He started stroking the back of her hand with his thumb as he thought about how to go on.

"Ally, not getting up won't make this day stop existing," he told her eventually.

She didn't answer, but her shoulders stopped shaking.

"I get that you want to stay in bed all day, and you should if it'll make you feel better... but time won't stop."

"I know that," she whispered, and finally sat up. Her eyes were red and swollen and her hair all over the place, but the sight of it still made Austin feel a little relieved. He brushed the strands that were sticking to her wet cheeks behind her ear and she finally smiled at him. "I know," she repeated, "I'm sorry."

"Hey, you don't have to apologize. It's your mom's birthday, I'd be a fucking mess as well."

"Who are you calling a fucking mess?" she joked weakly, and he chuckled, ruffling her hair.

His hand lingered on the side of her head and a second later he'd pulled her into a tight hug, enveloping her small frame into his arms. She gripped his shirt and he knew she was thankful for the gesture, that she'd needed someone to hold her close and whisper in her ear that it would be okay. That it sucked, but it was gonna get better. He didn't know if she could believe that just yet, but he thought it would still be nice to tell her. She buried her face in the crook of his neck as he rocked her slowly. By now, the therapist and nurses watching from the doorframe were the furthest thing from his mind.

He was surprised by the fact that having her so close felt so familiar. Like he'd known her his whole life, instead of barely three weeks. Even weirder was how fiercely he wished he could just make all of her pain go away, how gut wrenching was the frustration of knowing it was impossible.

She shifted and he let her go with a smile. "Have you eaten anything today?" he asked, though knowing the answer already.

She shook her head.

"Wanna go down to the kitchen and see if Antoin can make you something?"

She nodded and he stood up, watching her untangle herself from the sheets and finally get up as well. He heard one of the nurses sigh in relief but kept ignoring the public.

She slipped her feet in a pair of flip flops and pulled on a sweatshirt. Then she expertly twisted her hair in a bun and secured it on top of her head with an elastic. She smiled at him.

"Let's go."

He took the lead heading towards the door and was half hoping that doctor Friedman and the nurses would just let them through without commenting. Obviously it wasn't what happened.

"I would really love to talk to you, Ally. Later, after you put something in your stomach," said the therapist, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Ally nodded. "Sure, of course."

"I'll see you in my studio in an hour, alright?"

"Yeah."

Austin gave doctor Friedman an awkward smile before continuing on their way.

"Keep an eye on them, Tina," he heard her whisper, when she thought they were out of earshot.

Austin rolled his eyes but said nothing, smiling instead when Ally took his hand the second after they turned the corner. He squeezed her fingers and she rested her head against his shoulder.

* * *

**an: **Not much to say here. Hope you enjoyed the chapter & review if you did! Kisses xx


	18. day eighteen (part 2)

_**day eighteen (part 2)**_

They found Antoin in the kitchen, flipping through a cookbook. He smiled at them when they greeted him and, upon hearing that Ally had skipped both breakfast and lunch, promptly suggested he'd make her a sandwich.

She blushed. "You don't have to go through such trouble. I'm fine just eating cereal," she assured him.

"Don't be silly! I'm a chef, cooking is what I love. Besides, I make the best club sandwiches in Palm Beach."

Ally smiled and stopped complaining, taking a seat at the counter to wait for her food.

"Hey Antoin, are there pickles in the fridge?" asked Austin, after a couple of seconds of meditation.

"Sure, help yourself."

He did so, finding what he was looking for right away. He set the big jar in front of Ally with a smile that could almost be described as excited. Her eyes grew big in surprise, and she looked at him as if to ask how he could've ever known she was craving pickles.

"I remember what you told me," he explained. "About pickles being your favorite food. Whenever I'm feeling like shit, pancakes always make me feel better, so I thought it would be the same for you. You can munch on one while Antoin makes your sandwich."

She smiled and, for a brief second, he thought he saw her eyes fill up with tears once again. "Thank you," she said, voice broken by a small laugh.

He felt his cheeks redden and tried to shrug it off as he took a seat next to her. He watched her as she opened the jar and fished out one of the pickles, staring at it with a little smile. Before eating it though, she turned to look at him again.

"What am I gonna do without you in here?" she asked, her voice soft but filled with melancholy.

Austin was taken aback. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

She shook her head and looked down. "No, I won't. I'll be alone, _again_."

"Hey, don't say that. You're not alone," he protested, frowning when her face darkened even more.

She sighed and put the pickle back in the jar, capping the latter shut a second later.

"Ally, you're not alone," he repeated, looking hard at her.

"I feel alone," she admitted, after a few seconds of silence. "Ever since I was little. My mom used to go on these long research expeditions and my dad has always been too busy with his business," she sighed as she rested her forehead against the heel of her hand. "I grew up in this huge mansion that was empty all the time. Then my parents separated, and it's not like things _really_ changed, because I was still pretty much living only with my dad before, but after my mom moved out I'd see her even less. I was a shy kid, so I didn't really have many friends."

Austin lowered his gaze, feeling her long pause filling his ears with uncomfortable silence. He didn't know if she was waiting for him to say something, to cheer her up somehow.

He didn't really have any trouble imagining that Ally would be kind of shy growing up. She was still not a very outspoken person. She'd mentioned that her mother had been a traveller, and also that her parents had no longer been together when she died, but had never much elaborated on how those things had affected her.

"There was Elliot, I guess," she continued, and for a second it seemed to Austin that she was talking to herself more than to him. "He's always been nice, but he had his group of friends that I wasn't really included in. When I started high school, boys started noticing me," she shuddered and he instinctively put a hand on her knee, squeezing it slightly to let her know that he was there, and it was okay. She looked up for the first time in a while to send him a timid, grateful smile.

"It felt so good to be liked, to be found interesting, to feel attractive... I went on a couple of dates with a guy on the football team, before the quarterback—Dallas—started texting me. We hooked up for the first time behind the bleachers after his practice—cliché, huh?—and things evolved quickly from there. A week later we had sex in the back of his car during a party, two days later he dumped me to hook up with the head cheerleader. They were crowned prom king and queen later that year."

Austin didn't really know how things had evolved into her telling him her life story. Not that he minded, but he did feel bad, especially because he still had no clue what to say. He'd thought they'd already shared everything about each other a few days earlier, before Trish's party, but hadn't realized how many details had been left untold.

"I suddenly started feeling extremely unappealing. He'd made a comment on me not being skinny and I just thought the whole reason why he didn't want me was that I wasn't pretty enough. I should've realized he'd just wanted to fuck me from the start. My parents split up around that time and my mom left to spend nine weeks in China. There was no one around to notice that I'd stopped eating, no one to remind me I had a curfew, no one to stop me from going to parties and make out with anyone who told me I was pretty, and no one noticing when I got home drunk. It was awful, miserable, and unbearably lonely. It went on until Elliot and I started hanging out more often. You know he was my first crush? We met at camp when we were seven, and he was my only real friend throughout middle school. He was good for me, he was kind. He helped me get out of that really dark place. We got together a few weeks after my mom had come back and we stayed together for a long time. He became an even bigger part of my world and when he told me he was gonna move away I was crushed. That's when things started falling apart again. I guess it was the stress of the impending separation, but our last months together weren't great... I almost felt relieved when he left. Still, I lost one of my biggest support systems, and then my mom died, and I spent the worst year of my life..." her breathing started speeding up as she talked and he rubbed her thigh, worry seeping through his eyes as he looked at her.

"Ally, it's fine. You don't have to—"

"And then I met you."

Her voice was shaky and squeaky, but it still made his heart skip a beat. It wasn't as much the words as her expression while saying them. Like he'd been a turning point in her life, important enough to deserve his own chapter in her story. He looked at her with big eyes and a straight mouth, feeling the intensity of his own stare. She blushed and fire lit up his cheeks as well.

"You wanted to be my friend. You wanted to get to know me, and not just sleep with me, and maybe it's incredibly stupid but I could tell just by your eyes," she smiled a little and he wanted to do it too, but his face was still petrified. "And of course I ruined it by bringing you up to that room so soon after I'd met you. And then, well, you know the rest," she shrugged, then suddenly bit her lip. "God, I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this. There was a point, wasn't there?"

Before he could answer, Antoin came out of the staff kitchen balancing a plate on his hand. He presented Ally with a huge, delicious looking club sandwich and she thanked him with a warm smile. He winked, wished her _bon appétit_ and disappeared into the kitchen once again.

"You were talking about how you feel alone," he reminded her, a bit unsure on his words.

Maybe it was better to just let her eat in peace and drop the matter all together, but he could feel she was hurting and had to help her somehow. If the best thing he could manage was just sit there and listen to her talk about her life, that was what he was gonna do.

"Right. The thing is, you know that afternoon that we spent talking about how messed up we are? That was the first time since my mom died that I didn't feel alone. Not hopelessly so, at least."

Finally, Austin smiled. "I get it," he said earnestly. And it was pretty much true, except that afternoon had been important to him for slightly different reasons. It had been the first time that he'd really understood and voiced out the reasons of his struggles, the turning point of his recovery.

"And you're leaving in three days," she whispered, looking really sad all over again.

Austin felt guilt burn his stomach, even though the fact that he was leaving wasn't really his fault, and there was nothing to feel bad about. She knew it too, and she was quick to make sure he understood that she was not sad about him having reached the end of his stay there, but merely the fact that she was gonna have to stay there for another month by herself.

"You don't know, another pop star might be coming in soon to keep you company. I've heard most of us are closeted alcoholics," he joked, hoping to make her laugh.

She smiled. "Maybe."

"Though I have to tell you, I'll be insanely jealous if that happens," he added, and finally managed to get a giggle out of her.

"As if anyone could ever replace you," she winked and he felt heat spread through his chest. They were both joking, but still he felt unnecessarily flattered by her comment.

"I think you're gonna be alright, Ally," he admitted, after the laughs had died out. "I know it might not feel that way right now, but you do have people around you who care about you. Even in here, you have Patrick!"

Ally bit her lip, looking down once again. "I know. He's sweet, he's just... _overbearing, _sometimes."

"He cares a lot about you."

"I think he misses my mom. She was like a mentor for him," she explained. "I think he's hoping I'm gonna open up to him about her at some point."

Austin smiled. "You should. He's very insightful, much more than me."

She laughed. "Yeah, but you are different. You've never really pressured me into saying anything about myself, even though I could see it in your eyes how much you wanted to know."

"Don't blame me, you were a mysterious girl! Everybody wants to uncover a mysterious girl's every secret."

"Even if it makes the mystery go away?"

There was a sort of seriousness in Ally's expression as she asked the question. A bit of surprise in her wondering tone. Austin blinked, lacking an answer for a concern he'd never bothered himself with. The only thing he knew was that he still liked Ally—some part of him would've argued that he loved her, even—despite the fact that he now knew her life story well enough for her to no longer be a mystery.

He just looked at her dumbstruck, wanting to tell her that in the end knowing her and being able to be her friend was much better than the attraction he'd felt towards her mysteriousness. He almost did tell her, but he was a little too afraid it would sound incredibly stupid and inappropriate and too cheesy for her liking.

"You should eat your sandwich," he told her, pointing at the plate in front of her in hope to escape the conversation.

She looked at it like she'd forgotten about its existence. "Right."

Austin watched her quietly as she picked up the first half and took a sheepish bite, humming appreciatively as soon as she started chewing. He smiled tenderly, deciding not to tell her about the mayo smearing her lip and let her eat in peace. A comfortable silence settled in between them, as he tried not to brood on what he could've said about his feelings towards her while he'd had the chance. He thought back on what she'd told him about her life and tried to picture the Ally he'd met in the situations she'd described. Crushing on the senior quarterback, hooking up with guys out of insecurity, dating Elliot, getting high on narcotics. She'd definitely never been the innocent girl she looked like while sitting next to him eating a club sandwich, but that he'd figured out the first time she'd brought him to the empty room upstairs to have sex with him.

She finished the first half of her sandwich and licked away the crumbs on her lips. Before she picked up the second half, she turned to look at him.

"Do you think we'd be friends now if we hadn't slept together first?" she asked. It would've sounded more random if their secret rendezvous hadn't just been on his mind as well.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his forehead crinkled. He'd thought sleeping together had been what had prevented them from being friends from the beginning.

"I'm not sure I would've opened up to you so much without everything that's happened," she admitted. "Wouldn't you have grown bored with me or something? Lost interest after figuring out you couldn't uncover my secrets?"

Austin thought about it. He would've loved to tell her that no, he'd wanted to be her friend from the start and things wouldn't have changed, but he wasn't quite sure of it. He wasn't really known for his patience, and perhaps they would've developed a friendship like his with Dez, but not like the one they shared now.

"I don't know," he said, after a while. "But why does it matter? It happened, it's not like we can go back and change it."

She raised her eyebrows, intrigued by his observation. He instinctively guessed she was the type to dwell on the past, to ask herself how things could've gone differently. It made sense, seen the loss she'd suffered and the bad decisions she'd made. He'd never liked to do that, though.

"That's a good point," she pensively admitted. She stared at him for a few more seconds. "Do you think we should do it one last time?"

Now _that_ was out of the blue. Austin could almost feel his eyes pop out of his skull. "Have sex?"

She nodded, and for a second he hated her poker face. Was she serious? Was it just a joke? Was he supposed to laugh? Would she be offended if he did?

Of course he wanted to have sex with her, his penis had certainly had its interest peaked, but would it be a good idea? He was pretty sure it would be a grossly bad one. He concluded he would need a little more time to think about it, so he just smiled.

"You should finish your lunch before we decide anything. If I find out it was just your hungry brain talking my feelings will be pretty hurt."

She laughed and rolled her eyes, then went back to eating her sandwich.

* * *

**an: **So here it is, more details about Ally's story! I actually really like this chapter, it pretty much wrote itself, and I love when that happens. I hope you liked it too, and I would love to hear what you thought about it. I'm only a few thousand words from the end of the story but I'm going kind of slowly, still I hope I'll finish before I leave for college. Anyway, the next chapter will be the last M-rated one, and after that there will be about five (maybe six) more. I will update again on Friday, I'll see you then! Love you all and thank you so much for the support! xx


	19. day eighteen (part 3)

_**day eighteen (part 3)**_

* * *

As he sneaked up to the unoccupied room where he and Ally had hooked up for the first time, he tried not to think about the consequences of what they'd decided to do. He tried to ignore the relentless part of his brain that kept repeating how bad of an idea sleeping with Ally again was, how it could potentially screw them both up and ruin the new comfortable relationship they'd settled in.

He shut that part out because he wanted to feel close to her _that way _one last time. Because in the week that had passed since they'd had sex the last time, he'd felt like kissing her every time she'd passed him by. Well, not every time exactly, but he needed to exaggerate to find the courage to ignore what was going on in his own head.

He was an idiot. A horny teenager, nothing more.

He was also maybe a little bit in love with her.

He shook his head, grateful that at least those thoughts were keeping him occupied enough not to let him worry about his upcoming meeting with Trent and Kira. Kira whom he was about to cheat on again. Trent with whom she'd cheated on him.

He stopped, hand frozen on the cold door handle, and considered turning on his heels and walking back to his room. Send a text to Ally to tell her it wasn't a good idea and hope she wouldn't feel in some way offended.

He let the handle go and took a step back.

He was gonna leave in three days. There was a chance he would never see Ally again after he went back to Miami first, and then to LA. These were his last few hours with her.

He opened the door, stepped into the room and closed it behind him, eyes already adjusting to the darkness. Ally wasn't there yet.

He sighed and sat on the bed to wait for her, hands soon dipping into his hair while he started picturing awful case scenarios once again. Situations that would leave Ally scarred for life and forever unable to have a healthy relationship with any guy she would ever meet.

He was about to get up and run when she finally arrived.

She slipped into the dark room silently, looking around as her eyes got accustomed to the lack of light. She was wearing a simple, light-colored sundress and flip flops, while her hair fell in loose waves on her shoulders. She met his eyes with a timid smile, and he stood up to meet her halfway across the room.

He rested his hands on her sides while he leaned in to kiss her, any worry suddenly forgotten when he tasted her berry-flavored chap-stick, and felt her breath gently stroking the skin of his cheek. She locked her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his, standing on tip toes to deepen the kiss. When her tongue slipped into his mouth he felt the urge to groan, his pants already much tighter than he remembered them, and lowered his hands until they hugged the curve of her butt, causing her to smirk against his lips.

They pulled apart minutes later, breathing heavily, and shared a deep, hungry look across the few inches that separated them.

"Tonight nothing else matters, okay?" she whispered, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Just you and me."

"Just you and me," he repeated, before he kissed her again, aching to feel her as close as their bodies would let them.

She lifted his shirt and ran her fingers along his sides, her thumb grazing his belly button before aiming higher for his midriff, tracing the pattern of his abs. He felt a chill run down his spine when she briefly broke the kiss to pull his shirt off, cold air hitting his naked skin and forming goosebumps of his arms. The heat of her body came as a relief and he pulled her close, hands firm on the small of her back while he started kissing her neck, going down the slope of her shoulder until he found the strap of her dress. He lowered it and did the same at the other side, then pulled the garment down until it pooled around her ankles. He was quick to notice she was wearing lingerie and he smirked. She blushed and brought him back down for a kiss, as if to distract him from what he'd just seen. It was a shyness he was not used to when it came to their secret hookups.

Ally wasn't the kind of girl who was timid about showing her naked body, but tonight she was, and he guessed it was the deed she was embarrassed about, more than the lacy underwear. The fact that she'd put an effort into what she was wearing, when he was already used to her mismatched cotton panties and bras. He felt a wave of affection towards her, and his hands found the edge of her underwear, two fingers grazing the side of her hip to feel the intricate lacework.

"You are so hot," he murmured against her lips, and he felt her smile before she broke the kiss again, this time to suck and lick his neck. He hissed and picked her up, walking backwards until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed and they both fell on it. She ground against his erection and he sunk his fingers into her back, groaning.

He gripped her hips and inverted their positions, pushing her against the mattress while both his hands sneaked under her bra to cup her breasts, his eyes trained on hers while he gently squeezed them before circling her nipple with his thumb. She whimpered, her eyelids fluttering shut as she arched her back into his hands. He repeated the movement a couple of times before reaching behind her to unhook her bra and throw it aside. He kissed her neck first, then trailed his tongue down until he was kissing her perked nipple, and she sighed loudly, fisting the sheets with both hands.

He traveled lower, soon dipping his tongue into her belly button while he hooked two fingers on the elastic band of her panties and pulled them down along her smooth legs.

He inhaled before he timidly kissed her sex, eyes looking up at her to wait for a reaction. He took her deep sigh as confirmation that she liked what he was doing and he ran his tongue along her slit slowly, only to pick up his pace with a second stroke of his tongue, and again with a third and a fourth. Soon she was moaning, her legs spreading wider and wider to allow him better access.

He eventually moved his tongue through her folds, her taste familiar and exciting enough to make the restraint of his jeans painful. She moved both hands to his hair, pulling him closer, and he sinked his tongue into her as deep as it would go, in and out for a few seconds before he decided to keep fucking her with his index and middle finger instead, while his tongue moved to lick her clit.

"_God,_" she hissed, arching her back.

He moved his fingers inside of her in the way he knew she most liked, drinking in the sound of her moans and swears, gradually more high pitched as she neared her orgasm. She came trusting against his hands, and he moved his tongue down to lap at her juices until her cries toned down to whimpers. He slid his fingers out and sucked them clean, searching for her eyes to give her a sultry look. She was panting, sweat coating her forehead, and used the grip she already had on his hair to pull him up and kiss him hard and deeply, pressing her chest against his.

"You're very good at that," she breathed into his mouth, and he smirked.

"Thanks."

"It's my turn now."

She pushed him to the side and he gripped her hips, pulling her on top of him. She crawled backwards, dark eyes locked in his, until her face was aligned with his crotch and she quickly removed his belt and undid his jeans, pulling them down to his knees together with his boxers. She circled the base of his cock with one hand and without hesitation wrapped her mouth around him, sucking for some time before her head started bobbing up and down quickly, taking him in deep enough to make him worry that she would choke. Not that it was very easy to worry, not whit her slurping and licking and stroking at just the right pace, bringing him to the edge in a matter of minutes.

"Fuck, Ally—_fuck—_you have to stop that, or this will be over way too—_fuck_—soon."

She halted her ministrations and hid a giggle behind her hand.

"Seriously, I wanna be inside you," he added, still panting.

Ally smile and nodded, then jumped off the bed to take his jeans off the rest of the way and get the condom from his back pocket. She opened the package and climbed back on top of him to roll it onto his shaft, then scooted forward and rested her hands on his chest for balance. He grabbed her hips and guided her down slowly, groaning as his dick found its way inside of her. Her nails dug into his skin and she hissed, adjusting to his size before starting to move up and down again, head thrown back and back arched slightly.

He took her hands and their fingers intertwined and she was heaven. Pure heaven, because he couldn't imagine anything could ever feel as good as her. She gradually slowed down as her legs got tired, and eventually leaned forward to kiss him, her hair tickling his chest, nipples grazing his skin. He left her hand to brush her cheek, looking straight into her eyes with every intention to get lost into them, then suddenly flipped their position once again in one fluid movement, his thumb skimming her cheekbone, both of them completely still for one long moment.

"You look beautiful," he whispered, "you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

And before he could even recognize the surprise in her eyes he kissed her. Not hard nor harshly, but softly, slowly. When he started moving again, tongue still caressing her mouth, it was no longer just sex. It was every single thing they'd told each other over the past few days, it was every stolen glance and lingering thought. It was intimacy, it was love.

He sunk deep inside her, and held her hip while her thighs rubbed against his. He kissed her jaw, her throat, her collarbone, licked the sweat off while she moaned, head sinking into the mattress, fingers getting lost in his hair. They were one and they were blissfully perfect, fitting better than anyone else they'd ever known, and when he remembered that this was gonna be their last time really together, he was overwhelmed by a desperation that brought his lips against her another time, kissing her like he hoped no one had ever kissed her before.

It was a couple more minutes before she came, a second before he did, and they rode out their orgasms together, moaning loudly and holding onto each other hard enough to leave marks.

He collapsed on top of her, feeling empty of any energy, their sweat and breaths mixing into the stale, hot air of the room.

He rolled off of her still panting and searched for her hand to squeeze, skimming the ceiling while slowly coming down from his high and realizing that he had never experienced sex like that. Not with her, not with anyone else. He'd never felt that kind of pleasure, nor that kind of attachment to the other person. He turned to look at Ally and found her staring at him as well.

Sweat coated her skin, sticking strands of hair to her forehead and flushed cheeks. She wasn't smiling, but she didn't look upset, either.

"I love you," he told her quietly.

A shadow crossed her eyes, but he tightened his grip on her hand.

"Just for tonight," he added quickly, frantically. "Please, let me be in love with you just for tonight."

And then a tear rolled down her cheek and she nodded quickly, blinking to clear her vision, and he brushed the sweaty hair off her face.

He let go of her hand when he got up to dispose of the condom, half expecting her to be long gone when he came back not even a minute later. She was still lying on the bed, her breaths now even but definitely still awake, as she watched him cross the room to lie next to her again.

She snuggled against him, her head on his shoulder and hands tracing the pattern of his ribcage. He sunk his nose into her hair and closed his eyes, drinking in her smell as if she was the only source of oxygen in a toxic environment. He felt tired and drowsy, but was too afraid to miss even a second of her presence if he fell asleep, so he kept lulling her and brushing her hair, whispering to her about how she'd changed his life, how she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Then they kissed, long and hard, tasting themselves on the other's tongue, until he was able to go again, and he thanked god he'd brought more than one condom so they could make love for a second time, and then a third after a couple of hours of sleep in each other's arms, just as the sun started to peek at the horizon.

They left the room only a few hours before they were supposed to wake up, and he was in actual, physical ache as he lay down on his own bed, tired beyond belief but painfully awake.

A whole night of loving her, and he still needed more.

* * *

**an:** I am so, so sorry for the late update! I've had a pretty rough week, mostly because of the loss of a dear family member, but also due to the stress of moving into my new apartment and college starting so soon. This was a chapter I knew I had to go over and fix in many points, and haven't had the energy/been in the mood in these past few days. I moved in today and I'm exhausted, my feet hurt and still have about a hundred things I need to find a place for, but I decided I would do this before I went to bed and actually managed to go through the whole thing without falling asleep, so I'm pretty proud of myself.

This is the last smut chapter this story will have, so I hope it was a good one and you guys enjoyed it. I would love to know what you think, I am so thankful for your support. I didn't want to let another day pass without updating just because I know many of you were eagerly waiting for a new chapter, so I can say literally that you guys are what keeps this story going.

Hopefully I will be able to update on time on Friday, bye for now! xx


	20. day nineteen (part 1)

_**day nineteen (part 1)**_

* * *

Getting up the morning after was like stepping out of a long, great dream. So much so, that for a second he questioned if he'd actually slept with Ally the night before, or if his brain had made up the whole thing while he was sleeping. The answer came as soon as he stood up, his limbs painfully stiff and the kind of fatigue that he couldn't have been caused simply by a full night sleep.

He stretched as he walked towards the bathroom, holding back several yawns and purposely avoiding his reflection in the mirror. He took a long, cold shower, hoping it would be enough to clear his head and wake him up, and halfway through it he remembered he was supposed to meet Kira and Trent that morning. He cursed, ran his hands through his soaking hair, and hopelessly prayed that they'd somehow forgotten about it and he wouldn't have to face them for another couple of days.

Sure enough though, just as he'd finished getting dressed, someone knocked on the door and reminded him from outside that his friends were there to see him.

He sighed, put on his lucky whistle necklace—he was gonna need it—and headed downstairs, where Kira and Trent were waiting for him in the foyer.

She was the first to stand up and greet him, and in the mere seconds he was able to look at her before she threw her arms around him to hug him, she didn't seem much different. He figured people don't normally really change that much in only three weeks, but he had such a new vision of his old life that he'd expected it to manifest itself physically as well. It didn't, Kira looked exactly the same as the last time he'd seen her.

"Baby, I've missed you so much," she said, pressing her forehead against the crook of his neck.

"Missed you too," he said, though lacking her same enthusiasm.

She didn't seem to notice, and broke the hug to beam at him.

"Daddy says sales for your album are up to the roof! He's already scheduled a bunch of interviews for you to talk about your recovery and said you should start working on your new single right away. He knows you had an idea already before, but you should probably take advantage of the situation and write something about your experience—"

"Kira, _please._ You're gonna give the guy a headache!" cut in Trent from behind her. "Look at him, he's already a zombie! What's the deal, man? I thought they would let you sleep all day in here."

Austin smiled at his best friend. "Hey, how are you?"

They hugged briefly, before Trent shrugged. "Can't complain. Every interview I do they keep asking me about you."

"Hope you're not spreading horrible rumors."

"Shouldn't complain if I did, you're the living proof that there's no such thing as bad publicity."

Austin hid his annoyance with a wider smile, and Trent didn't seem to pick up on it. Kira either, as she wrapped herself around him one more time, repeating how much he missed him and was looking forward to him getting out, so they could spend some time together.

Austin kept looking at Trent, who kept looking at him, the eyes of both filled with unspoken sentiments. For the first time since he'd met him, he felt like he didn't know him, and wasn't sure he could trust him. He kept that to himself, part of him hoping it was just his tired brain that made him feel paranoid, while he distractedly patted Kira's shoulder.

"We should go outside, enjoy the heat before it becomes unbearable," he suggested, pointing towards the glass doors that led to the pool.

Trent led the way as Kira started telling him about her latest career news. They hadn't spoken in over a week, after he hadn't picked up her call before the Bruno Mars concert. The same concert the tabloids had shown she'd gone together with Trent, instead of her friends like she'd told him. Not that the picture of the two of them together back stage was enough as an evidence—for all he knew her friends might have been there too—but he had a gut feeling that the paparazzi weren't all that off when they speculated a blossoming romance between the two.

He found it eerie that he suddenly didn't care at all if it was true. Deeply, he almost hoped it was, so he would have an excuse to never talk to them again.

He pushed those feelings aside as well, and instead kept nodding at whatever Kira was telling him, cutting in with a few "I'm so proud of you, babe," here and there.

"So, how's therapy?" asked Trent eventually.

"It's alright, I guess. My shrink is a pretty cool guy."

"Did you get to try any fancy psych drugs?" he tilted and eyebrow suggestively, and Austin shifted on his seat, unable to fully hide his discomfort.

"This is rehab, Trent. Giving patients drugs kinda defeats the purpose of it, don't you think?" he said.

"Still, if they found out you were a sociopath or something, they'd give you drugs to control it, right?"

"It's not that kind of place," answered Dez for him, appearing behind Kira. "It's mostly businessmen in their thirties who drink a little too much when they come home from work. No one here is a sociopath."

Austin gave him a little smile, suddenly feeling very self-conscious about the fact that his weirdo roommate was meeting his celebrity friends. Oddly enough, he was more worried about Kira and Trent making a bad impression on Dez than the other way around.

"Austin and Ally are the only teenagers."

"What about you?" asked Trent, frowning.

"I'm twenty-one, dude."

"Oh, sorry. The Elmo tee shirt kinda threw me off."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Dez shrugged, then introduced himself to both of them and casually sat down.

"Who's Ally?" asked Kira, before anyone could change the subject. "You never mentioned her."

For a moment, Austin contemplated telling her everything. It was just a moment though, after which he sent her a perplexed look and reminded her that he hadn't really mentioned any of the other patients.

"You mentioned Dez," she pointed out.

"Yeah, he's my roommate," objected Austin.

"We're best friends," added Dez, with a smile.

It was Trent's turn to feel uncomfortable, but he didn't really show it.

"Why do you care about psych drugs?" asked Austin, in an attempt to pretend not to remember Kira asking about Ally.

"Well, it's kinda hard to get prescription drugs, even for me. I've been really stressed lately, I could use trying something new," answered Trent casually.

Dez sent him a half surprised, half disapproving look. "Sounds like you should be the one in rehab, dude."

Austin snickered at Trent's shock, for once taking immense pleasure in Dez's lack of any filter. His best friend was acting even more like an asshole than he remembered, and he wondered if he'd always been that way. Maybe he'd just been too drunk or high to notice.

"Hey, I'm not an addict. I'd only use it to get the stress off and have some fun, okay?"

"You sound just as defensive as Austin did when he first got here."

Kira bit her lip. "Maybe we should change the subject," she suggested, with a strained smile. She turned to Austin once again. "Who's Ally?"

He clenched his jaw. "She's no one—"

"I'm Ally."

Austin found himself unable to breathe for a couple of seconds after he raised his gaze to find her standing just a few feet away, the neutral expression he'd grown to hate masking who-knows-what emotion. She'd definitely heard him, and he felt like an asshole for not telling Kira she was at least his friend.

"Oh, hey! I'm Kira Starr, I'm a friend of Austin's."

"Thought you were his girlfriend," interjected Dez, and Kira turned around to shoot Austin an annoyed glare.

"And _I_ thought we weren't telling that to anyone just yet," she reminded him through gritted teeth.

Austin shrugged, still a little too worried about Ally's presence to really care. "It's not like he's gonna tell anyone."

"Yeah, my lips are sealed," Dez nodded, then mimicked turning a key in front of his mouth and throwing it over his shoulder.

Kira sighed, obviously irritated but not enough to start a fight over it. "Whatever," she hissed, then focused back on Ally. "It's nice to meet you," she told her, with her most sugary smile.

"You too."

"You should sit with us!"

"Actually," cut in Trent, and Austin noticed an unnerving hint of a smirk on his lips, "why don't you and Dez give Kira a tour? I need to talk to Austin alone for a second."

A shadow passing Ally's eyes revealed that she was horrified at the suggestion, but she put on a smile nonetheless. Austin didn't know if she was gonna find a way to politely decline, because Dez interrupted again. "It would be our pleasure!"

"Wait, what do you guys need to talk about?" asked Kira, suspicion clear in her voice.

"Business stuff," answered Trent vaguely. "We'll catch up with you in a few minutes."

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded and got up to follow Ally and Dez toward the pavemented road that led to the tennis court.

Trent waited for them to be well out of earshot to burst into laughter. "Oh man, you're screwing the brunette!"

Austin felt a wave of nausea run through him and he pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to clear his own head. Now more than ever he was regretting the lack of sleep that made it very hard to focus on one thing at a time.

"Shut up, Trent," he said, sounding just as worn out as he felt.

"I can't believe after all the fuss you made about being with Kira, now you're cheating on her with some kid junkie."

"Don't you dare," Austin spat back, anger finally surging. "You think I don't know about you two hooking up behind my back?" he accused him, "How long did you wait after I came here? Two days? Or was it already going on before I left?"

Trent seemed slightly taken aback by his knowledge. "Didn't think you were the type to read tabloid blogs."

"Oh, please. It's in every fucking magazine! Can't enter a CVS without noticing one," he was so fed up he didn't even notice his own slip until he saw Trent's expression changed from confused to suddenly interested.

"You sneaked out?"

"No," lied Austin, but his expression must have been the furthest thing from convincing, because Trent took his denial as proof of his guilt. He laughed.

"I must admit I didn't think you'd have the guts to do something like that."

"Whatever," huffed Austin.

"You know what? We should meet up tomorrow night, out of here. Have some fun, if you know what I mean," suggested Trent, keeping his voice low and eyebrows lifted.

"Why would I wanna do that?"

"Because you missed your best friend and your girlfriend and you wanna party with us."

"I honestly don't," scoffed Austin, his lips bending into a mean smirk.

Trent stared at him for a few seconds, looking vaguely offended and pretty irritated. "I knew this place would change you. What are you, too good for us now?"

Austin didn't answer, he returned the same hard glare and crossed his arms.

"You know what? I think you will come tomorrow night, and you will bring me a present, too."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm sure you can get your hands on a prescription pad. There must be tons around here."

"You are out of your fucking mind," spat Austin, before turning around to leave. He couldn't make a step before Trent grabbed his arm, and forced him to look at him again.

"You will come, or I will tell Kira about your little affair with kid junkie."

Austin wriggled out of his hold. "Or maybe I'll tell her, so I'll finally have an excuse to get dumped and you can have her all to yourself!"

Trent gritted his teeth, clearly disappointed by the fact his blackmail hadn't been enough. Sadly, it didn't last very long, and he was sneering again just a few seconds later.

"Fine, what if I tell the press, instead?" he threatened. "And while I'm at it, I'll tell them about you sneaking out too. I'm sure your fans, Jimmy, and your _parents_ will love to hear that."

As much as he wished to appear indifferent to his words, Austin froze. If people found out that he was a cheater and had snuck out of rehab, his career would suffer a blow that would be hard to recover from. Not to mention that his dad had threatened to freeze all of his assets and terminate his contract if he didn't take rehab seriously. He swallowed back a curse.

"It's not like I can just steal a prescription pad!"

"I'm sure you'll try your best," said Trent, patting his shoulder. "What do you say we talk about it tomorrow night? You should bring your new girlfriend, too," he wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis. "Now I think it's about time we catch up with the others." He winked at him, before he turned and headed for the tennis court as well.

Austin stayed frozen where he was, fist clenched almost painfully, cursing every moment of his life that had led him to the point where he would have to commit fucking theft to save his career.

* * *

**an: **I'm just gonna say very quickly that I'm taking a bit of a poetic licence in regard to the plot that will bring this story to an end. It might be extremely unrealistic and I'm sorry, but I had this idea and after weeks of consideration I've decided to just go with it. I tried to do a research about stealing prescriptions and there were sties that said that getting drugs with stolen prescription would be close to impossible nowadays, others that reported people doing it and getting away with it for a while before being arrested. I don't want to spoiler the end of the story nor how I will get there, but I just want to point out that I realize that the situation probably doesn't resemble reality very well. My main concern is that the characters remain relatable and realistic.

Thank you everybody for you sweet reviews! I hope you liked the chapter (it was a bit boring perhaps after all the Auslly-ness of the previous ones) and that you'll continue to tell me what you think.

Bye for now! xx


	21. day nineteen (part 2)

_**day nineteen (part 2)**_

* * *

"I don't get it, why can't he just buy some Oxy from his dealer like everybody?" wondered Ally after lunch, lying next to him under the sun.

The clinic was always quiet during the early hours of the afternoon, after the first round of visitors had left. With no activities to go to besides therapy, most patients preferred to avoid the scorching Florida heat by staying inside and taking a nap, but Austin and Ally both loved basking in the sun, and they enjoyed the silence and privacy they found pool side, most of the nurses preferring to keep an eye on them from the other side of the glass doors.

"His dealer lives in California," explained Austin, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. "But that's not even part of the reason why he's making me do it. He wants to know he can control me, he doesn't like that I've changed and needs me to be the stupid, drunk kid that didn't notice when he used me for his own personal benefit."

Ally lowered the book that was covering her face to give him a semi-worried look.

"That's pretty messed up."

Austin groaned and went back to looking at the light reflecting on the almost completely still water in the pool. Truth was, his whole life was messier than ever at that point. There he was, venting about his manipulative—_former_—best friend to the girl he was by now quite sure he'd fallen for, pretending that he hadn't made love to her just a few hours before, pretending he wasn't feeling anything for her at all.

"So your only chance to do it is today in therapy?" she asked.

"Yep. One hour and fifteen minutes from now."

She stayed quiet for a while, and in the almost complete silence he could faintly hear the song playing on her iPod from the earbud that was resting on her chest, out of her ear so that she could hear what he was saying.

"Are you gonna do it?"

Austin ran his right hand through his hair. "Honestly? I still don't know."

Ally kept looking at him silently, as if waiting for him to continue, but Austin didn't have much else to say. He didn't want to do it, and he wasn't completely sure that Trent was actually going to rat him out to the press, but was taking that risk worth losing his career? The only thing he'd worked for his entire life, the only thing he'd ever, really wanted?

"I probably won't know until I'll be in front of Patrick."

"I get that, I guess," she offered him a small smile that he wasn't able to match.

She turned her attention to the pool shortly after, but he kept looking at her as if waiting for something to happen, but actually stuck on the memory of the previous night and unable to focus his gaze elsewhere. She was by then much less of the enigma she had been at first, but he still couldn't quite figure out the way she was thinking. He was still almost afraid to ask about it.

He knew that the previous night had felt different for her too. That she had feelings for him, perhaps as strong as the ones he had for her. He'd been able to read it in her eyes when he'd told her he was in love with her. Underneath all of her fear, all of the pain of her past experiences, he saw that she cared for him deeply, and wanted him as more than a friend. What he had to try to do was going around all of that fear, to reach the part of her that wanted him. To show her that he was different, that he was going to treat her right, that she didn't have to be afraid of him because the last thing he would ever do was hurt her.

"Hey, Ally," he called, and waited for her to turn towards him to continue. "Are we gonna talk about last night?"

She froze instantly, but something in her expression told him she'd been thinking about it just as much as he had.

"I don't think there's anything to say about that," she answered quietly, her voice much calmer than he would've expected.

It took him a while to gather enough words for a second question. "Do you really think we should just pretend it never happened?"

"It's complicated, Austin. You're leaving in a couple of days, and you have a girlfriend."

"I'll break up with her," he rushed to say. And it wasn't one of those empty promises guys made to buy more time to sleep with two girls at once. Truth was, Austin would've broken up with Kira even if he'd been certain he would never see Ally again.

"Don't—listen," she sighed and closed her eyes, before sitting up. He did the same and waited for her to find a way to continue. "There's something you should know."

He sensed in her tone that it wasn't something he'd enjoy hearing, but he nodded nonetheless. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and she closed her eyes again and pressed the palm of her hand against her forehead.

"Ally, what is it?" he prompted, feeling more nervous every second she spent in silence.

A ringtone interrupted whatever thought she was in the middle of and she hurried to fish her phone out of her bag.  
"I'm sorry, I need to take this," she told him, and pressed the phone to her ear before he had time to react. "Hi," she greeted quietly, then stood up and gathered her things quickly. "Good, you?"

"Ally, wait," he tried, speaking in a low voice to not disturb her call.

She sent him an apologetic look, stuffed her towel into the bag and slipped her flip flops on, before heading back inside.

Austin cursed and lay back down, trying hard not to brood on what had just happened. There were worst things he needed to worry about than Ally being evasive and answering mysterious phone calls.

He took out his phone and earbuds and put on the angriest song of his playlist at the loudest volume possible, but even that wasn't enough to make him stop thinking about her.

* * *

Austin realized upon entering Patrick's studio later that day that he still had no idea what he was gonna do. By then he'd however recognized that it was gonna gonna be a matter of how strong of a person he actually was. Stealing the pad just to keep Trent on his good side would be the weak choice, the "easy" way out, the one that would've proved that he hadn't changed that much after all, that he was still a slave to his own fame.

A stronger choice would be to not break the law. To forget about Trent and Kira and their party and stay in, hang out with Dez or participate for once in one of the nurse organized weekend activities. To do the good thing and prove that he was a better guy than he used to be, even if it meant risking his career.

The choice would've seemed obvious to anyone, but for some reason the strong choice felt to Austin like the way out for a coward. Deep down, he wanted to be able to smirk at Trent and show him that he was still able to break the rules, to be a badass.

Deep down he was also hoping that he wouldn't even have a chance to steal anything. After all, in the three weeks he'd been Patrick's patient, he'd never even seen one of his prescription pads, and Patrick pretty much stared at him the whole hour. It would've been pretty difficult to steal anything.

But of course, fate had its say in that.

"Hi, Austin. Please take a seat, I will be right back," said Patrick as soon as he stepped into the studio.

"Where are you going?" he asked, dumbstruck, watching as he hung up the phone. The creases on his forehead made him look much older than he actually was. Worry was not a good look on him, and not one Austin was used to see.

"There's a problem with one of my patients. If I'm not back in ten minutes, consider today's session rescheduled," he told him, and then he rushed past him to get to the door, which he left opened behind him.

Austin stood where he was, frozen for a second while his mind was racing almost uncontrollably.

Patrick was gone and would not be back soon. He'd left him in his office, completely unsupervised. That last shred of hope that the decision would not be up to him had vanished, and his hands now itched so bad they started to tremble. He clenched his fists.

He was better than that. Better than Trent, better than his old life. Better than alcohol and drugs and theft. He didn't have to prove himself to anyone.

He moved towards the desk, with every intention to just sit down and wait for Patrick's return. The scanning of the desk was involuntary, as it was the perusing between the different folders and notes. As it was him opening the first drawer, and then the second. He didn't have to go further.

He stared at the prescription pad without reaching for it, trying to shut his brain up. His brain that was screaming at him to close the desk and go sit down, forget about the whole thing and go on with his life.

Except suddenly he realized how inevitable facing Trent would be. Even if he refused to go to his hotel room that night, he would have to meet him eventually at their condo back in LA. Or in a room with their staff discussing their plans for a joint tour. Or at any party, any award ceremony, every event he would be invited to if he continued on with his career.

Trent was inevitable, and he didn't want to be his enemy. He didn't have the energy for it.

He took the pad and flicked through it. Maybe one blank prescription would be enough. It would have to be, because Patrick would certainly notice a whole pad missing, but maybe he'd be to busy to realize there was one page less. And even if he did, Austin would be out of there in a couple of days, any other patient could be deemed just as guilty.

He ripped the page, folded it and stuck it in his pocket, then put the pad back and closed the drawer. He sat down on his chair and patiently waited five, then ten minutes. After fifteen had passed, he stood up and walked out slowly, almost expecting an alarm to go off as soon as he touched the door handle.

Nothing happened, no one even glanced at him as he made his way back to his room. Only as he lay down on his bed he fully realized he'd actually done it. And as much as he could try to lie to himself, it hadn't been unintentional.

He was not better than Trent, not better than his old life. He was weak, and he was a thief now. There was no going back.

* * *

**an: **I'm so sorry, yesterday I completely forgot about updating. Thankfully today I have a whole three hours between classes and plenty of time to review and post this chapter, I hope you liked it! I just now finished writing chapter 24, which I had originally thought as the second-to-last one, but now I'm thinking I might add one. Anyway, I'm very close to the end, and it's surreal. I've been working on this story pretty much all summer, and it's been a blast.

Thank you for your wonderful reviews and all the support this story has gotten. Hold on, we're almost to the end!

Till Friday! xx


	22. day twenty (part 1)

_**day twenty (part 1)**_

* * *

Ally had managed to get the gate key from Dez and was insisting to come along.

"You need me," she told him matter-of-factly, arms crossed and eyebrows knit together.

They were in his room and whispering, while he tried to find a clean shirt to wear. Ally was sitting on his bed, wearing dark jeans and a black top, ready to go.

"No, I don't," he told her, hoping it would sound definitive enough to put an end to the argument.

"Yes, you do," she stubbornly persisted. "I am street smart, I could come in hand."

"It's gonna be a room in a five stars hotel!"

"With _drugs_!"

He gave up on his search to send her a stern look, which left her unfazed. "Ally, it's not a good idea."

"I don't care, I'm coming," she stood up and it was her turn to look at him hard. "I'm not gonna let you go alone."

"I won't drink, okay? Nor do any drugs," he promised, as a last, weak try to change her mind.

She didn't answer, didn't even blink, and he gave up. "Fine!"

"I will see you outside at midnight."

He pondered leaving before without telling her, but then he realized she'd taken the key with her.

* * *

It wasn't like he thought it was gonna be incredibly dangerous or anything, he just didn't want her to get into trouble because of him. He didn't want her to participate to some party where she didn't know anyone and possibly hang out with Kira some more. He didn't like that Trent could've found a way to use her against him.

His worry for her weakened him, and he would need all of his strength to face Trent, to try to turn his wrongs into rights. He didn't have a plan yet, but he knew that Ally coming along would potentially threaten it.

He met her outside at midnight, like she'd said, and they sneaked out together. Like the first time they'd done it, they didn't dare to utter a sound before they were at least a few blocks away.

"You never told me if you stole the pad or not," she observed eventually, as they made their way to the address Trent had given him, maybe little over twenty minutes from the facility.

Austin sighed before he took the blank prescription from his pocket, unfolded it and showed it her.

"Oh," he'd expected her to look disappointed, but she just seemed a tad surprised.

"Yeah, I'm a horrible person."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. I know I am."

She didn't answer and he put the paper back in his pocket.

"I thought I'd changed, you know? I thought I would be able to stand up to him and cut him out of my life, but I don't know if I can do that. I'm too fucking scared to."

It was weird, admitting it out loud. He didn't think he would ever have the guts to. For years he'd built an image of himself that didn't allow room for fear. The only time he was able to be weak, to escape, was when he was drinking, and now that that only outlet was not in the picture anymore, he knew he would have to work on admitting fear, amongst other feelings his previous self would've deemed substandard, in his new self. He'd have to stop putting on a façade, so he wouldn't have anything to escape from anymore. So he could just be himself all the time.

Still, it was a change that was weird to accept, he was so used to his old self. He would have to get accustomed to new ways of being and he would need time to do it.

He figured telling Ally that he was afraid would be a good enough starting point.

"It's okay," she told him, quietly. "Everybody gets scared, once in a while," she smiled, but he was too upset to imitate her.

"I guess," he sighed.

"Hey, you have a lot to lose. I would be scared to, anyone would be."

She sneaked her hand into his and a warm blaze lit up in his chest. He kept his gaze on the concrete, hoping she wouldn't notice his twelve-year-old-like reaction.

"Thanks," he whispered, after a long while.

She squeezed his hand, and they walked another few blocks before she spoke again.

"Austin, why did you text me not to trust Elliot?" she asked slowly, and when he looked at her she seemed so unperturbed that for a second he thought he'd just imagined her words. But then she looked at him and he could read the question again in her eyes.

The memory of his encounter with Elliot and the subsequent finding out that they'd slept together that day cast a shadow over his heart and mind, and it took him a second to regain his cool enough to answer.

"Because right before I punched him, he told me he would fuck you just to get back at me for having sex with you in his car."

"Oh," she let go of his hand to nervously squeeze her wrist, eyes low and now wearing a much colder expression than she had on before. "He—he told you that?"

"Pretty much."

"What does that mean? He _didn't_ tell you?"

"He implied it pretty strongly."

"So he didn't tell you?"

Austin stopped abruptly, forehead wrinkled in confusion. "He didn't have to!" he told her, voice louder than before in reflection of his increasing annoyance. Did she not believe him? Was she looking for some sort of loophole that would allow her not to be hurt by the new discovery?

"But he didn't!" she yelled, stopping as well.

The light in her eyes reeked dangerously of desperation. He decided it would be better to back off.

"Whatever. What's done is done, right?" he didn't wait for her reaction, instead started walking again. After a beat, he heard her sneakers against the pavement as she quickly caught up with him.

"For whatever's worth, I only read your text... _after_."

Austin gritted his teeth. "Why did you sleep with him, anyway?" he found himself asking, before he could think about it. His voice sounded almost like a growl, and he regretted not keeping his frustration to himself.

"He was the only guy I've ever loved," she said, after a small pause. "I guess part of me wanted to feel what being in love was like again."

"Well I'm no expert, but I still know that's not how it works," his words were sharp, and he tried to deny that it was because what she'd just said had hurt him. "Not if you're not in love with him anymore."

"Now that's a bit presumptuous, wouldn't you say?" she deadpanned.

"What?"

"What the fuck do you know about my feelings?"

For some reason, her irritation took him by surprise. She stopped and he did too, feeling nervous as she stared him down, arms crossed and eyes hard. Still, he didn't like how suddenly aggressive she was, as if he'd somehow insulted her. He'd thought that the fact that she wasn't in love with Elliot anymore would be clearer to her than to anyone else.

"Fine, I don't know how you feel. Elliot was the love of your life and I have no right to challenge that because I didn't know you then. Are you happy?" He rolled his eyes. "I don't even get why this is suddenly so important. You already had sex with him, it's not like anyone can go back and change that!"

But man, if he could.

Ally looked down quickly, so he only got a brief glance at her guilty expression. It was still enough to tie a knot at the mouth of his stomach.

"Ally, what's wrong?" he asked urgently, fighting the impulse to lift her chin and make her look at him.

"I've been talking to Elliot, these past few days," she said slowly.

The knot tightened painfully. "And?"

"And he's gonna go to college in Miami in the fall, so we've decided we would try again."

"Try _what_ again?" he already sounded mad.

"Do I really have to say it?" she protested, annoyed.

He didn't answer, because he knew she knew. He had to hear it, loud and clear, or he would never be able to process it. Seconds slipped by and each one burned his throat. His muscles clenched as his body readied for the blow.

"We got back together."

It hit him harder than he'd prepared for. It felt like an ice cold dagger piercing his chest, sucking the air out of his lungs, and the anger that came right after was almost worst. It was fire consuming his organs, painful enough he couldn't ignore it. Painful enough he needed an outlet, any outlet, to explode onto or the flames would've killed him.

So he exploded all over her.

"I can't fucking believe it," he spat, with an ugly laugh. He could see cracks starting behind her eyes, and if even just five minutes before the last thing he would've ever done was hurt her, now he almost found pleasure in the sting in her eyes. It made him feel less alone in his suffering. "Even after what I've told you? You don't even care he was fucking using you?"

"I do care!" she cried. "I do! It's just complicated!"

"No it's not! He's an asshole, you shouldn't be with him!" he yelled, stretching his arms out in exasperation.

"You don't even _know_ him! You're basing your judgement on two encounters! I've known him for years!"

"Trust me, what I've seen is enough," his voice was low again, but his eyes still lit with rage and hate. "You're such an idiot, Ally."

The cracks traveled deeper, he could almost hear the sound of glass shattering. Tears prickled the corners of her eyes and as he noticed them, a sharp pang of guilt hit his stomach. Still, it was too late to stop.

"Anyone could guess he's at least part of the reason why you're so fucking messed up. I don't know what kind of shit he's said to you, but I thought you were smarter than that."

"Shut up," her voice was just as broken as her expression.

"How could you have so little self-respect?"

"Stop talking!" she yelled, and he could see anger in her features now as well.

"I just—"

"NO! I get that you're mad, and hurt, and maybe even disappointed, but that does _not _give you the right to yell at me like I'm a fucking child. It's _my_ life, _my_ relationship, and it's none of your fucking business."

Austin ran a hand through his hair, frustration joining the mix of complex emotions that was scrambling his brain. He knew she had a point, but she was still painfully infuriating. She was back to shutting him out, and she didn't even understand how much he hated it.

"BUT IT IS! Don't you get it? I am in fucking love with you, Ally! And you keep pushing me away! How could you ever think that I would take this kind of news well?!" he screamed, closer to her and back to looking at her with aching hatred that the cruelest part of him hoped would break her heart even more.

Tears fell on her cheeks and rapidly traveled along her face until they reached her chin, leaving hot trails on her skin. Her eyes swelled up when she cried, and her skin was flushed red with anger. She reminded him of a goldfish, and the thought warmed his heart a little bit. Now he wanted to hug her and kiss her and make her laugh. Now he felt like the biggest jerk on the planet, because he knew her, so he should've known better.

"I'm sorry, I just—I don't feel the same way about you," she managed to say, voice trembling and tearful.

And Austin felt himself break too. The noise of shattering glass covering every other sound and every emotion. He looked her in the eyes and part of him knew that she was lying. He didn't know how, but he hated her for it. Hated her for breaking his heart just to protect herself from feelings she was afraid of. Hated her for not letting him take care of her, for not letting him love her.

His anger flew away somehow, and he felt unbearably empty. Void of any kind of passion that could numb the dull ache of his heart.

She didn't want him.

He wished it was more complicated, he wished he could make her understand that, but it wasn't and he couldn't.

Maybe she loved him, but she didn't want him.

"Whatever then," he said quietly, emotionlessly.

He turned and started walking again and, after a few seconds, he heard her footsteps as she caught up with him.

Neither of them dared to say anything else for the rest of the way.

* * *

**an: **Sorry I'm late! Also sorry for the angsty chapter. I'm afraid it's the end of any kind of Auslly fluff, at least until the end (which is only four chapters away! And I still have to write two of them o.o). I don't have anything else to say today besides repeat one more time how much I love an appreciate everyone of you who's stuck by me this long, and the people who are just now discovering this story. The biggest pleasure in writing it is knowing that people enjoy reading it.

I'll leave you for now, but please review! xx


	23. day twenty (part 2)

_**day twenty (part 2)**_

* * *

The suite was big and luxurious, with two bedrooms, a huge bathroom and great view of the ocean and the beach. Low music came from a set of speakers connected to someone's iPod, and it took Austin a couple of seconds to recognize it was one of T-Fame's singles. There were a dozen of people in the room, most of which he'd never seen before, and having them around made him nervous. He didn't know who he could trust, probably no one.

The coffee table in front of the expensive-looking couch was almost completely covered in liquor bottles and glasses, and by the glazed look in the eyes of most of the people present, drugs had been going around as well. A sweet artificial smell filled the room, most likely covering the scent of marijuana.

"Austin, my man!" greeted him Trent, spreading his arms to hug him as if the previous day had never happened. "So glad you could make it!"

He was obviously already stoned and had probably had a few drinks. As he sloppily embraced first Austin and then Ally, it was weird to imagine him being the vicious asshole he'd proven himself to be.

"Hey, did you bring it?" he whispered in Austin's ear.

"Kind of," he winced, annoyed by the feeling of Trent's hot, drunken breath on his neck. He fished the blank prescription from his pocket and pushed it into his hand.

"Niiice!" Trent smiled, proudly patted Austin's shoulder and then turned towards the small crown. "Kira!" he called.

She emerged from a conversation with two of her friends to come join them in their corner of the suite.

"Baby, you're here!" she swung her arms around Austin's neck and kissed his cheek.

"Yeah, he's here. Whatever," muffled Trent. "Listen, I'm gonna tell Dex to fill this thing out and then you're gonna take my car, drive to a twenty-four-hour pharmacy and get us some Oxy."  
"What? Why do I have to do it?" she complained.

"_Because_ you're the only one in here we can really trust," Trent winked.

"Why don't _you_ go?"

"Babe, I'm too famous. They would recognize me instantly. Same goes for Austin."

"I'm famous too!"

Trent snorted. "Maybe back in LA."

Kira looked immensely offended by the statement. Her lips parted in incredulity as her eyes shot Trent the coldest look he'd probably ever received. Austin found the situation almost comical.

"You're such an asshole!" she screeched.

"Hey, calm down!" it was Ally who spoke, and the three of them turned to look at her as if they'd forgotten she'd been there all along. "I can go, it's fine."

Austin felt his guts twist unpleasantly. "No, you can't," he deadpanned. "It's illegal."

"So was stealing the prescription," she crossed her arms.

"That was petty theft at most, this has to be like fraud or something!"

"Austin it's fine, I did my research. There's this pharmacy not far from here and the owner is like a hundred years old technophobe who is half blind. She's never gonna get caught," said Trent.

"I don't give a shit, she's not doing it."

"What makes you think you can speak for me?" the look she sent him was of pure spite, and he almost felt it burn his skin.

"Ally, don't be stupid!"

"Would you stop calling me that?!" she yelled, then turned her back to him and stormed off, muttering profanities under her breath. Austin pressed to fingers against his close eyelids.

Trent smiled knowingly as he playfully elbowed his chest. "Girls, huh?"

"Shut up."

* * *

Austin found Ally fifteen minutes later as she headed out and stopped her by unceremoniously grabbing her wrist.

"Let me go," she ordered, her cold tone clashing with the hot fire in her eyes.

"You're not seriously going through with this, are you?" he asked, softening his grip as much as he could without releasing her.

"Get off my back, Austin! I'm doing it to save your goddamned reputation."

"Are you fucking crazy? Why on earth would you ever think that I would want you involved in this shit?" he yelled, and she wriggled out of his hold. "It's my fucking problem, I'll deal with it."

"You can't! You can't say no to Trent, and you surely cannot stroll into a store to buy drugs when the whole world thinks you're in rehab," she reasoned, and it was genuine concern that lit her eyes. "Let me help you do this, let me help you shut Trent up, so that you can walk out of here and put this behind you once and for all. Show him what'll cost him to force you to play his game!"

"You think _this_ will do it? You seriously think that getting him drugs will shut him up? He's always gonna have the power to blackmail me if I don't act like he wants! I don't want you being a part of this. It's fucking dangerous," he paused to take a breath, hurt suddenly seeping through his expression. "You might not give a shit about me, but I sill care about you too much to put you through this," he admitted.

Ally's eyes widened in shock at his last statement. "Austin, I—I—" she stammered, voice trembling.

He took advantage of her surprise to slip the folded, newly filled out prescription from her hand.

"I'll go tell Trent he can go fuck himself. He's not gonna manipulate me into being his pusher, or whatever," he said, right before he ripped the piece of paper in half, then in quarters and octaves and so on until the pieces were no bigger than ordinary confetti. He let them fall on the carpet floor of the hallway and went back into the room without looking back.

Trent was easy to find, surrounded by his friends as he took what was most likely his tenth tequila shot, licking the salt off of a girl's stomach with Kira glaring at the scene in the background.

"Austin, my man! You have to do a shot, you _have_ to!" he shouted upon seeing him, sounding if possible even drunker than before.

"Maybe later, I need to talk to you."

"Sounds serious bro. Alright, let's talk," he turned towards the girl and winked, "I'll come find you later," he slurred into her ear, and Austin watched with disgust as she giggled in response, probably really drunk herself.

They walked into one of the two bedrooms, silent until Trent took a seat on the cream colored plush chair next to the window, and gestured him to take the bed. Austin didn't move, deciding that standing would actually be easier. Plus, he liked that the feeling of towering over him.

"What's up?"

Austin took a breath, focused on keeping his hands still more than on the words he wanted to say. That was probably a mistake.

"Ally's not going to get you any drugs. She wasn't part of the deal and I don't want her to be."

Trent looked slightly surprised, but not at all upset. He shrugged. "Alright. Do you wanna go get them?"

"I destroyed the prescription. No one is getting anything."

Trent kept his gaze trained on him, apparently unfazed by the hard look on Austin's face. He nodded slightly, before conceding him a mocking smile. "So you chose morals over your career?"

"No, I chose not to be blackmailed by a piece of shit like you."

Trent raised his hands, palms facing outwards, as if to defend himself. "Hey, chill. Dude, we used to be best friends, did you forget already?"

It was Austin's turn to smile bitterly. "That was before you fucked my girl and forced me to commit a felony. And you know what? I was gonna get through with this, I really was," he admitted. "I stole the prescription for you and showed up to your lame party. You crossed the line when you tried to get Ally involved."

"Wait a second, wait. I never _forced_ you to do anything, and it was the girl who offered, okay? I wanted Kira to do it," protested Trent.

"Whatever, it's over, okay? Go on and tell every fucking tabloid about me, but know that I know about just as much as you do about me. I wasn't getting drunk and high alone for three years."

They stared at each other for seconds that seemed to turn into minutes and Austin could practically hear Trent weighing out his options. Austin wasn't the only one with everything to lose, and they bolt felt pretty stupid about not having thought about it before.

Eventually, the corners of Trent's lips rose to form a peaceful smile. "I guess you win this round, Moon," he conceded, and got up to face him. "You know what? I can respect you for wanting to stay sober, and for defending your chick."

"Ally's not my chick."

"Honestly, I couldn't give a fuck. It's pretty obvious that you're into her."

Austin finally lowered his gaze to the ground, Trent's words sneaking past his defense to hit him right in the stomach. He didn't want to think about Ally, how he felt towards her and how she didn't reciprocate. He didn't want to feel anymore pain.

"She doesn't really feel the same way," he admitted, and he didn't know why, nor thought Trent would care at all.

"You still have Kira."

"You mean the girl you've been sleeping with behind my back for the past three weeks, possibly longer?"

Trent rolled his eyes. "So what? You cheated on her, she cheated on you."

"That's not the point, Trent."

"Listen, I know I've been an asshole these past couple of days. Hell, past couple of months, even!" Trent sighed and rubbed his forehead. "It's just—fuck, it's hard to explain."

"Try," urged him Austin. Maybe he was an idiot, but Trent was still an important part of his life, and he needed to hear why suddenly he'd started acting like his biggest enemy.

"It's like ever since I became famous, the only thing people are interested in is my friendship with you. Not my music, not my work, just how cool it is that you and I are such good friends. It makes me so fucking angry! No matter what I do, people are always more interested in _you!_"

Austin bit his tongue. He'd honestly never realized it, but now that Trent was pointing out, he was right. Austin had always been more famous, probably because of his appeal to fourteen-year-old girls and all of the interest from the medias. Trent was a good singer and he wrote killer hip-hop songs, but got a lot more attention for his collaborations with pop stars than his own material. And the fact that they'd always advertised their friendship had not helped him develop his own image and his own career.

"I thought things might change when tabloids took you as a target, when all people could talk about was your shit. Still, in every fucking interview I got asked about you! How you were doing, what was like having an addict friend! No one even cared if _I_ was just as bad. I started screwing Kira to get back at you, I guess, and you didn't even care that much. When I came to see you you only had eyes for that Ally girl, and it pissed me off. All of my life circles around you, and still I'm not significant enough in yours to even hurt you."

"That's not true!"

"But it is! You're always so above it all, and I guess I wanted to try really hard to actually take you down. I'm sorry."

Austin didn't answer. Honestly, it was much harder to blame Trent after hearing his side of the story, but he'd still been an asshole, and he'd pretty much admitted he'd wanted to hurt him. If they'd been as good friends as he'd thought, they would've been above such childlike behavior. Above jealousy and bitterness.

"I didn't even think you'd show up tonight, to be honest. I expected you to show me again how much better you are than me by ignoring my threats. Which you did, eventually," Trent smiled weakly, and Austin sighed.

"I'm sorry for never realizing how frustrated you were," he said. If he could've repaired at least a bit of their relationship, he would've.

"It's fine. I'm sorry for the shit I've put you through."

"Yeah well, I'll get over it. No harm done."

Trent smiled and Austin smiled too, despite himself. He doubted they would ever rekindle their friendship completely, but he would gladly settle for peaceful coexistence. They shook hands, and Austin felt like a small weigh had been lifted from his chest. He no longer had to worry about his career being in jeopardy—well, any more than it already was.

"Now, let's get this part started!" exclaimed Trent suddenly, distracting him from his relief.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, confused.

Trent smirked, before pulling out a small, white, plastic bottle from the pocket of his jacket. He dangled it in front of Austin's eyes long enough for him to read the label.

"Oxy? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Hey don't worry, I know you're against having fun now. No pressure, it's just for me. There wouldn't be enough, anyway. There's only a few pills left."

"Where did you get it?"

Trent smiled, and the drunken glaze over his eyes seemed more apparent now that the serious talk had ended. "Dad has a bad back."

"Why the fuck did you try to blackmail me into getting you pills if you already had them?" asked Austin, pissed off once again.

"It was a _test_ dude! I thought we went over that."

"Whatever, you're not taking these," said Austin sternly, and pried the bottle off Trent's hands without much effort.

"What? Just because you hate fun, it doesn't mean you have to rain on everybody's parade," protested Trent.

"Dude, you're drunk. You take one of these, you'll die. I'm not raining on your parade, I'm saving your life. _Trust me._"

Trent made an exasperated sound but didn't try to take the pills back. Obviously the part of his brain that had not yet been overtaken by alcohol could see he had a point.

"Whatever, can I at least go find some girls to fuck? Or is this party officially ruined forever?"

"Do whatever you want," sighed Austin, before turning to leave the room and checking the time on his phone as he did so.

They'd been in the hotel suite for little over half an hour, and he was already sick of the scene. He just wanted to grab Ally and go, and hopefully forget about the night completely.

* * *

**an: **I feel like this chapter is written awfully, but I honestly don't have the energy to improve it more than this. Anyway, you've got a bit of Austin and Trent resolution as we near the climax of the story. Just three more chapters to go (and I have to write one and a half of them. I feel like the ending is so close, yet so far away). Anyway, sorry for the crappy chapter, I hope you're happy with Austin finally getting his head out of his ass and act a bit more maturely. Gosh, am I being mean? I should not write these notes this late, it makes me say mean things.

I will see you on Friday, keep reviewing! xx


	24. day twenty (part 3)

_**day twenty (part 3)**_

* * *

Austin found Ally gazing out of the window towards the immense, black ocean beyond the street lights. He put a hand on her shoulder to announce his presence.

"It's done, we can go now," he told her, speaking as low as the music let him.

Ally didn't turn to face him. Instead, she hugged her own frame with both arms. "Was he mad?"

"He was too drunk to care. Plus, he already had these," Austin took the bottle of pills from his pocket and gave it to her when she extended her hand to get a closer look. She shook it. "There's not much in it," she noticed.

"Apparently enough for one person. I took it from him before he could take any. He might be a selfish ass but I don't really want him to die."

Ally smiled for approximately three seconds, before turning back towards the window, her face as dark as the landscape outside. "Why did you freak out so much about me getting those drugs?" she asked, quietly.

Austin sighed. "I told you. It was too dangerous."

"But we had a fight. I thought you hated me," she lowered her gaze to the ground, sounding almost afraid.

"What? No. No, I don't hate you."

Okay, maybe he had hated her. For a handful of seconds, when she'd showed him just how self-destructive she could be. He could never actually hate her though, not to the point where he would be comfortable sending her to do his dirty work.

"You think I'm stupid."

"No, Ally. I think you're one of the smartest people I know, but you're acting like an idiot," he corrected her, tiredly.

"Because I'm back with Elliot."

"Because you keep finding ways to hurt yourself and raising barriers that prevent me from stopping you."

She finally turned around again. "I love Elliot," she told him, a weird light in her eyes.

It was impossible to ignore the staggering pain to his chest, but he did his best to conceal it. "Yeah, I get it. You love him, not me. Why are we still talking about this?"

"You sound like you don't believe me," she tilted her head, irritation seeping through her tone. She was clutching the bottle of Oxy hard enough that her knuckles were almost completely white.

"Whatever, Ally. I don't care anymore, okay?" he finally snapped. She jumped, taken aback by his sudden anger. "You wanna be with that son of a bitch? That's fine, be with him! Let him ruin your life, apparently there's nothing I can do about it."

"If you really were my friend you would show me some support! You know making this decision wasn't easy! You know how terrified I am of being alone! Why don't you understand?" she yelled back.

"Didn't you hear me before? I can't be supportive about this, not if I cringe every time I think about that bastard laying a finger on you!" he took a little step back. He didn't want to have this conversation anymore, he didn't want to have to deal with anymore drama. She wasn't the only one who was having a hard time, whose life needed to be pieced back together, and she was being selfish by asking for his approval. She should've known that. "I can't be your friend anymore. Not if you keep making the wrong decision. Not if you're gonna be with him."

Her eyes filled with tears, anger and irritation fading away to give space to pain and fear. "That's not fair," she managed to say in a chocked sob.

"Maybe it isn't. Maybe I'm being a selfish dick, but you know what? I don't care. You obviously don't give a shit about me or my feelings, so why should I give a shit about you?"

He knew his words were harsh. He could read it in her expression, but he was too tired to try to find a nicer way to make her understand. He was too sick of feeling hurt and used.

The cracks he'd watched extending through her all night finally joined together at her core and tore her apart under his cold eyes. She crumbled and he watched, guilty but powerless, hating the pain in her eyes but unable to take anything back. He'd cracked too, he didn't have the strength to put her back together. He wasn't brave enough to try anyway.

The sickest part of him thought that she deserved the hurt she was feeling. He tried to embrace that part, because seeing her break brought him more pain than he'd thought possible, because the urge to bring her into his arms and apologize until his tongue went numb was hard to push away.

He didn't know if ending their friendship was the wise, healthy thing to do, or a horrible mistake. He knew how much he needed her, but he was also miserable and disappointed, rejection stinging his stomach hard enough to make him nauseous. He could've dealt with her not liking him, with her wanting to just be his friend. He didn't want to be the asshole that wasn't interested in girls unless sex was in the picture, and he wasn't. What he couldn't deal with was her blatantly lying to herself and to him, her not thinking about the consequences of dating someone like Elliot, her trying new ways to hurt herself.

He didn't care if he wasn't her boyfriend, as long as he could still take care of her the best he could, and she didn't let him. She didn't take care of herself, either.

He didn't need another self-destructive person in his life. He didn't want any of the drama.

Ally's shoulders were shaking, but it was hard to tell if she was actually crying. She stared at the ground, her hair hiding her face from him. He was about to tell her they should go when Kira appeared out of nowhere, and when he looked back at Ally, she was gone.

"Everything okay?" asked Kira, latching her fingers onto his.

"Yeah, fine," Austin scanned the room until he caught a glimpse of brunette curls and the heels of the shoes Ally was most definitely wearing before the bathroom door closed behind them. He finally turned his attention to Kira, who was looking up at him, a rather serious expression on her face. "What's up?" he asked.

"I think we should talk," she sighed, eyes traveling to the door of one of the two bedrooms.

Austin nodded. "Sure."

Apparently, his horrible night was far from over.

He followed Kira across the suite to her room, walked in and watched her as she closed and locked the door.

The room was nearly identical to Trent's, same plush cream colored chair, same big mirror, same dark desk and big, flat TV screen. Perhaps the biggest difference were Kira's clothes scattered over the bed, and her makeup occupying the space over the vanity. He distractedly picked up the bottle of Chanel perfume he'd gotten her for her birthday, the faintly colored liquid inside at least an inch lower than it was when he'd bought it. He remembered the note she'd left for him, the curvy handwriting and the hearts that dotted the i's, the name of the brand underlined multiple times. She'd already put it aside in the store, all he'd had to do was go pick it up, pay for it and make sure they'd put a pink ribbon on the package.

"I know guys have trouble deciding what to get their girlfriends, especially after only a few months of dating, so I thought I'd make it easier for you," she'd explained, when he'd asked her about the note after finding it on his pillow.

He hadn't told her he'd already bought her a present. He'd managed to find a tee shirt from the concert they'd met at two years before. It had took him several weeks to track one down and it had been sitting in a drawer in his room since before they'd actually started dating. Back then, he'd hoped that giving her a gift to symbolize the beginning of their friendship would certainly help him along in conquering her heart, but he'd managed to do that much sooner. He'd still been excited about giving it to her for her birthday, though. But in the end he didn't.

He'd bought her the perfume she wanted and taken her to a very fancy restaurant for dinner. His thank you had been in the form of sex in the back of the limo and a bottle of very expensive champagne charged to her father's credit card.

Maybe that was why they hadn't worked. They'd never managed to get their relationship to a deeper, more intimate level. A level where a concert tee shirt would've made a much better present than a bottle of expensive perfume. It was a pity, because as friends they'd actually been much closer.

The sound of a whimper caught his attention and when he turned towards Kira, he saw that she was crying. He felt bad all of a sudden, even though he didn't even know why she was upset.

"I'm so sorry, Austin," she sobbed through the hand that was covering her mouth.

"What? Why?" he asked stupidly, the rumors of the past weeks momentarily forgotten.

She trained her big, surprised eyes on him. "You—you don't know?"

"No—I mean, yes. Trent told me," he lowered his gaze and she did the same, sobbing louder. "It's fine," he added, after a quiet moment.

"It shouldn't be," she whined, "It—it shouldn't be fine. We're together, and I—I cheated on you."

"I don't care," he admitted.

With a wail she closed the distance between them and hugged him, her fingers digging into his back, to cry into his chest. Maybe he should've specified that the reason he didn't care was that he was in love with someone else. That he'd cheated on her as well, and that by that point he considered their relationship to be pretty much over.

He didn't. He let her cling to his shirt and sob, getting lipstick and mascara all over the fabric, arms limp by his side. He wasn't mad at her, but he didn't feel like consoling her, either.

"I don't deserve you," Kira managed to say, eventually. "I love you so much, but I don't. I was mad at you because you went to rehab. I should've been happy that you were trying to get healthy, but I was mad because—because—" a fit of sobs cut her off before she could finish the sentence.

Slowly and reluctantly, he lifted a hand to pat her back.

"I love you, Austin," she whispered, once she was able to speak again.

She took a step back, adjusted her arms around his shoulders, and kissed him. She tasted of lipstick and tears. He felt nothing.

She angled her head, pressed her body against his, sighed into his mouth. It was like he wasn't even inside his body, like he was skeptically watching it all from some other corner of the room.

Her tongue moved against his, fingertips traveling lower to lift his shirt and graze the skin underneath. She should've felt familiar, because he'd kissed her countless of other times before, but they were two strangers.

He let her push him towards the bed, watched her as she stepped back and swiftly removed her dress. She was wearing matching black, lacy underwear he was pretty sure he'd never seen before. She had still on her sparkly stilettos as she removed his shirt and pushed him down on the bed.

He didn't know why he wasn't stopping her. He felt nothing, but still didn't complain as she kissed his neck, as she rubbed herself against him. She guided his hand to cup her breast and held it in place as she slid her tongue into his mouth again.

He closed his eyes and imagined she was someone different. Chestnut hair and lighter complexion, thinner lips and less perfume. A different taste, a different voice.

It was idiotic but he couldn't help it, and when Kira's fingernails dug into his skin, it wasn't her name on the tip of his tongue. It was Ally's.

He felt sick. A wave of nausea turned his stomach and the room felt suddenly hot, too hot to have Kira on top of him. He couldn't breath.

He put a hand on her shoulder and nudged her back, thoughts suddenly crowding his mind, pushing one against the other hard enough to make his head hurt.

He sat up and pressed both palms against his temples, eyes shut, throat dry.

"What's wrong?" asked Kira, disappointment clear in her voice.

He didn't have time to answer before he realized something had changed. It was no longer the beat of the music to come in muffled through the closed door, it was voices. Alarmed, frenetic voices.

He got off the bed, picked up his shirt and got out before he could even finish buttoning it.

The few people that Trent had invited to the party were crowding around someone who appeared to be lying down on the floor, a few of them crouching beside the body, shaking it to try to wake the person up.

It took him too long to recognize her, but somehow he had known the whole time.

"ALLY!" he yelled, pushing people away to get to her side.

Her eyes were closed, mouth slightly open, legs bent in an awkward position.

"What the fuck happened?!" he shouted, as fear started to slowly crush his lungs.

"She only had two glasses of vodka! I swear!"

"She said she was feeling weird, got up and passed out before she could reach the bathroom."

"She didn't even look that drunk!"

The few statements mixed in Austin's head as he called her name again, grabbed her shoulder and shook her slightly. She didn't move.

"CALL 911!"

He was too afraid to check her pulse, wasn't even sure if he knew how to. She couldn't be dead, not so suddenly, not when she was fine up to a few minutes before.

Would she have told him if she had some sort of weird medical condition? Was there something he was overlooking? As his stomach constricted painfully, blinding terror shutting down his brain, he moved his hand to grab hers, only to find that she was already holding something.

He slid the little, white, plastic bottle of Oxy—the bottle he'd left with her—out of her grasp and somehow found the strength to shake it.

It was empty.

"It's my fault," he realized in a chocked breath.

He bent down until his forehead touched hers, tears he wasn't even aware of blurring his vision. He'd left a bottle of painkillers in her hand, then let her walk away in tears after watching her break. She was an addict, she had a history with painkillers. She was scared of being alone, and he'd told her he didn't want her in his life anymore.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice shaking just as bad as his hands gripping her arm.

He heard a siren in the distance.

"I'm so sorry."

* * *

**an: **My math class is literally starting right now so I don't have time to say much. I'm sorry for not being able to update twice a week anymore, the past few days have been crazy busy/stressful and I don't want to post a chapter if the one after it isn't finished. I will update sooner if I find the time/energy to write out the last chapter before Friday. Thanks to everyone for the support, please keep reviewing!

xx


	25. day twenty-one

_**day twenty-one**_

* * *

They didn't let him see Ally at the hospital. Patrick had shown up even before her father had and told him to follow him, while doctor Friedman scooted past them to get to the nurse desk and ask for information. She'd disappeared behind the line they'd told him not to cross just mere seconds later, and he'd felt anger build up in his stomach while Patrick rudely pulled him away.

Once they'd gotten to the parking lot, Austin had violently wriggled out of his grasp to send him a hateful look.

"I'm not leaving!" he'd spat.

"Yes, you are. You should get in the car before I call the police." His tone had been calm but dreadful, and in spite of Austin's resolve to stay until he at least knew if she was gonna be okay, he'd followed his therapist all the way to his car and got in without another word.

They'd driven back to the rehab facility in complete silence and gotten there just as the first timid sun rays had started tinting the pitch black sky a more forgiving indigo. Just moments later they were in Patrick's office, and Austin could feel his deep disappointment on his skin.

He'd never thought Patrick could look this menacing, nor this unforgiving.

"Do you want me to explain?" he asked, after fifteen minutes had gone by without the therapist saying a word.

"No."

"Why are we here, then?"

Patrick never stopped looking at him while he talked. "We're here to wait to hear if Ally is going to be okay or not. After we do, you are going to go to your room and pack your bags, if you haven't already, so you can leave this facility as soon as your parents come to get you."

"What? You're kicking me out?!"

"We're not. You've done your twenty-one days. As of today, you're discharged."

"But I—you're not gonna make me stay longer? I thought—I mean, Dez—"

"Mr Wade never put another patient in danger, and he never _stole_ a prescription from his therapist."

"So you're just gonna give up on me?"

Patrick sighed. There was actual anger seeping through his eyes, a sentiment that almost looked wrong on him. On some level, Austin understood his disappointment. He didn't like himself very much either that night. He'd made a long series of bad decisions and even if he'd managed to right a few of them, he'd still been careless enough to put Ally's life at risk. He'd been cruel to her, which was the thing he most likely would never forgive himself for. He thought he was better than that, better than cruelty. Especially when it came to her.

Patrick kept looking at him in that pissed off way, and Austin trained his own eyes to his hands, resting on his lap. He desperately wanted to explain, but hated the idea of anything he could possibly say sounding like an excuse. Because there were no excuses, he'd been stupid, he'd been selfish, he didn't even deserve Patrick's compassion or understanding.

Still, he craved it more than anything.

"Would you blame me if I did? If I gave up on you?"

"No, I guess not." He slumped in his chair even more.

"Do you think I _want_ to give up on you?"

"Why else would you do it?"

"Because you give me no other choice, damn it!" Patrick stood up, his chair scraping against the ground as he bored his angry, disappointed eyes into Austin's. "You made progress! You were able to admit you have a problem, you were willing to work on it! And now you're back to being the bored kid who doesn't understand the consequences of his actions! It makes me think that you haven't changed at all! That you've been faking it this whole time, just to get out as soon as possible and go back to drinking and partying!" he yelled.

Something snapped in Austin's chest and he got up too, almost knocking his chair down in the process. "That's not fair!" he shouted. "I make one mistake and that's it, you're done with me? I thought it was supposed to be a long, difficult road! And you give up the first time I trip and fall?!"

Patrick leaned back, shoulders slumping ever so slightly. He pushed his glasses up his nose and looked down. He almost seemed embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," he said, very quietly. "You're right, I'm sorry."

To Austin, it felt like taking a breath for the first time in hours. It was only one breath, before he remembered that he still didn't know if Ally was gonna be okay, but it was enough to clear his thoughts and cool down a bit.

"Penny Dawson—she was like an older sister to me. Ally is the closest thing to a family I've got."

Austin looked at him, his pained face, his fingers digging into his sockets as if to rub a really mean headache away.

"I'm sorry I didn't take care of her like I should've," said Austin, his voice breaking with a tremble. "This never would've happened if I wasn't so fucking _weak._"

"Austin—"

"I was so awful to her, I didn't think of the consequences. I didn't _think_, and I put her in danger. What's the point of having stood up to Trent if she was gonna suffer _anyway?_"

Patrick looked at him stone-faced for a couple of seconds, before he let out a short sigh and collapsed back into his chair. "Why don't you tell me what happened?" he gestured for him to sit down as well, and Austin did. "Start from the beginning. And please, no more lying, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

The sun slowly began his ascent as Austin told Patrick everything. From the first time he and Ally had slept together to the events that had led to her overdosing incident. Patrick listened carefully, eyebrows knit together, without giving any sign that lead to his surprise, or lack thereof.

Austin's parents arrived just as he was finishing his recount, giving him barely any time to recompose himself before his mother slung her arms around him and started sobbing on his shoulder.

"Mr and Mrs Moon, I'm glad you're here," greeted them Patrick, standing up to shake Austin's father's hand. The latter looked halfway between furious and disappointed, resembling Patrick's expression from earlier, but somehow managing to seem even more menacing, even more unforgiving.

Austin figured he could kiss his whole career goodbye.

"I was so worried," his mother cried, gripping his arms tight enough it hurt. Austin wasn't able to look her in the eyes. "When they told us you had run away, I was so afraid something awful might happen..."

"Run away?" Austin asked, confused.

"We noticed your and Ally's absence before we got the call from the hospital," Patrick told him.

"Are you okay, sweetie? Are you hurt?"

"No, mom, I'm f—"

"Did you take anything?" his father sounded much less worried and much more baleful.

"No, I didn't," was Austin's calm-ish response.

"Drugs? Alcohol? Don't lie to us, Austin."

"I didn't take anything!" he shouted, slightly hurt that neither of his parents seemed to believe him.

"On the phone you said you were over all of that shit! Were you lying to us?"

"NO I WASN'T! I didn't drink, I didn't get high, okay?!"

"And you suppose we believe that your friend tried all by herself?" his father was shouting, too.

"No! Just—just let me explain!"

"Why? So we can let you deny everything for the hundredth time? We're tired of this, Austin!"

"How about I explain?" interjected Patrick, before either of them could spit out anything they might really regret. Austin felt a wave of gratitude towards his therapist, and abandoned his fighting stance, unclenching his wrists and relaxing his shoulders.

"Austin, could you wait for us downstairs? You should grab some breakfast while you're at it, too."

He wasn't hungry, but he gladly left the room anyway, under his mother's tearful stare and his father's disappointed huff.

As he climbed down the stairs to get to the foyer, he was struck by how normal everything seemed. A few patients were having breakfast, chatting amongst themselves or with the nurses, while other sat outside and read the paper, enjoying the coolness of the shade in the few hours before the sun reached its peak and Florida heat became unbearable.

The sight should've made him feel more normal as well perhaps, but it didn't. The sound of quiet chatter gave him a headache, the smell of bacon made him sick. He wanted to run away to the quietest corner and shut out everything and everyone, to sink into his own misery until he knew if Ally was gonna be okay.

She had to be okay.

He didn't know what he would to if she wasn't. He didn't know what he would do without her.

He didn't give a shit about Elliot or drugs or the fact that she didn't want him. He just wanted _her_, in any measure she would let him have her. She'd been the only good thing to happen to him in years, and he was selfish enough not to want to let go of her.

He didn't know if he had the right to be selfish anymore, though.

He couldn't stand to see her suffer, and it would've killed him to be the source of her pain. _So it's gonna be up to her_, he decided. He would've settled for whatever would make her the happiest.

_If she's gonna be okay_.

His stomach plummeted down to his ankles.

"Austin! What happened?"

He looked up to find Dez standing in front of him, holding a plate full of eggs and ham in both hands and giving him a worried look.

"How much time do you have?" Austin gloomily joked.

"Where's Ally?"

Hearing her name was like a stab into his lungs. "Hospital," he said.

"What? What's wrong with her?"

"Overdosed. Alcohol and Oxy."

"Fuck."

"Yeah."

He had to get out of there or he would lose his mind. He was already having trouble breathing.

"Dude, you don't look very good either." Austin shot him a dark look. "Maybe you should sit down."

"I'm fine."

"Sure?"

"I guess. I just need some air."

"I'll walk you."

"You don't have—"

"I'll walk you."

Dez set his plate down and followed him outside, before taking the lead onto the path that led to the tennis court, slowing down only halfway through it.

"Better?" he asked, looking back at Austin, who sunk his hands into his jeans pockets.

"Yeah, a little."

"Want me to tell a joke?"

"What?"

"It could lift your mood."

"I seriously doubt it."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?"

"Why?"

"Because the 'P' is silent."

Austin looked at Dez, who looked back at him. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"But you're smiling."

* * *

Austin's mom came to find him about an hour later, looking much more calm than she had earlier. She sat down next to him and, miraculously enough, Dez was able to take the hint and left right away.

"Doctor Hale explained everything to us," she began, with a bit of uncertainty. "And you've made a lot of bad decisions, but you've come a long way as well." Austin looked down at his hands joint on his lap. "The clinic is not going to press charges, and both your father and doctor Hale think that you destroying the prescription you stole and standing up to Trent is proof enough that you've changed and accepted your condition. That you're strong enough to be released, commit to a healthier, less stressful lifestyle and stay sober. Your dad agreed to let you continue with your career, as long as you keep putting your health first, and you stay away from clubs for a long while."

The words felt immensely heavy. He'd screwed up, but still they believed he was responsible enough to go on on his own. To go back to his career and his fans and fame, his crazy life just slightly readjusted to make slipping back into old habits a bit harder.

The idea scared him. It terrified him.

"Doctor Hale gave us a few names of very good therapists you could see both in Miami and LA, to help you along and keep you grounded," she stopped to give him a wary smile. "The papers for your release have been signed, you're free to pack up your stuff and come home."

Austin didn't smile. He kept looking down and tried to slow down the painful drumming of his heart.

"I, however, don't think you should," her voice sounded more confident now, and for a second he worried that he'd ruined things so much, his own mother didn't want him anymore. "I don't think you're done, and I don't think you're ready to take care of things on your own. The clinic has agreed to prolong your stay here for as much you think you'll need, or we can find some other place if you'd prefer. You can take another month or two, recover from this incident with no more distractions. Really commit, until you're confident enough to go back to your career."

She rested a hand on the back of his neck, gently stroking his hair. "It's your decision, sweetie. Whatever you believe is best for yourself, your father and I will support you." She stood up. "You should think about if for a while. We'll be waiting for you back inside."

She started to leave, and he realized that if he wasn't gonna ask her now, he would never find the courage to.

"Have you heard from the hospital? Is—is Ally okay?

His mother stopped and turned to find him finally looking up at her. She smiled at him.

"She woke up, the doctors seem to think she's gonna be just fine."

She walked away before she could see the tears of relief falling on her son's cheeks.

* * *

**an: **Well apparently as soon as I warn you guys that I'm gonna take longer to update, I manage to get the chapter ready on time. So here we are, one chapter away from the end, and I'm so thankful to all of you who've stuck by me this long. Ending this fanfiction feels so bittersweet! I've actually finished the last chapter today, but I feel like it still needs work, maybe a lot of it. I will update as soon as I can, please review in the meantime!

Love you all! xx


	26. twelve steps

**an: **And here we are. This is actually the end and I still can't believe it. I've had so much fun writing this story, and as much as I'm thrilled about it finally being complete, I know I'm also gonna miss writing it.

I should tell you right away, since some of you asked, that I don't really plan on writing a sequel. I feel like I achieved just what I wanted in these 26 chapters and reached a satisfying ending, and I really hope you'll understand that. There's also the fact that I've been wanting to explore more fandoms and pairings, but even more get back to my original stuff, which I've been ignoring for the past year or so. That being said, this is most definitely not my last Auslly fanfiction, and you should check out my account once in a while for more stories.

I want to thank all of you who actually read this whole thing, whether you've been following me since day one or you found this story just recently, I'm so glad you actually got to the end, and would love to hear any kind of feedback. I feel like I should give a special shout out to my most faithful reviewers: **Bolero 127**, **Ross's Juliet**, **Kathy0515**, **HollywoodHeightsLuver**, **adorking**, **abiecat** and **MissADM**. You guys have been supportive through even the most boring chapters, and I'm so, so grateful to you and so happy to have written something you've enjoyed. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

So, I hope this last chapter won't disappoint. I will leave you to it and bid you adieu! I will miss you just as much as I will miss this story. I love you, and thanks again.

* * *

_**twelve steps**_

* * *

It was a clear March morning when Austin walked up the steps of Ally's huge house for the first time. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but he was still surprised by the rich vibe everything on the property exhumed. He assumed that owning a company worth millions would allow that kind of wealth, and he should've been prepared for it, but it was like he'd forgotten about Ally's family's money until he'd pulled up in front of the gigantic iron gates.

He suddenly felt inadequate, wearing ripped jeans and an ordinary tee shirt. What if Mr Dawson was the kind of man who didn't take you seriously unless you were wearing a jacket?

He'd taken his time on the gravel driveway, climbed every step towards the main entrance as slowly as he could without looking weird to the gardner working on the rose bushes in the front. He waited another few minutes in front of the door, pretending to check his phone. He wasn't ready. He still wasn't ready.

He turned and started to leave when he heard the door opening behind him. He spun on his heel.

"Mr Dawson! Hello sir, I'm Austin. We—um, spoke on the phone?" he didn't mean to sound so insecure and definitely didn't mean to utter the last statement as a question. His throat was painfully dry and the neck of his tee shirt suddenly too tight.

"Of course, come right in."

Lester Dawson was not like you'd expect a wealthy businessman to be. He was wearing sandals and old jeans, and his shirt looked one size too big. His smile had something goofy and very _dad_-like about it, which made him look much more approachable than most millionaires. He had Ally's chestnut eyes—or better, she had his.

They shook hands and Austin stepped in, wary of his sneakers squeaking over the expensive marble.

"Did you have trouble finding the house?" Mr Dawson asked politely, goofy smile still in place.

"Not at all. It's pretty noticeable," he regretted the joke almost immediately, but Lester let out a big laugh.

"Right, I always forget that. I didn't grow up rich, you know?"

He didn't know how to answer to that. He smiled and nodded, feeling awkward as ever.

"Can I offer you anything? Coffee, tea, lemonade? We have the expensive Italian kind, you know," Mr Dawson winked and bumped his elbow against Austin's shoulder, eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"Sure. I'll have some of that."

"Great! Ally loves it as well. I'll tell Greta to put together a snack, what do you say? Do you like hummus?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Perfect! Please, make yourself comfortable in the living room. It's right that way!"

Austin nodded, smiled again, and headed in the direction Mr Dawson had pointed to, across the big hallway, beyond the set of marble stairs, and into a huge room to the right. One of the walls was completely covered in ground-to-ceiling windows, giving an ample view of a well kept garden and the city of Miami just beyond it, in the distance.

Weirdly enough, he didn't become aware of the music until he noticed the grand piano on the other side of the room, next to the massive fireplace. Somehow it managed to look bigger than pianos usually did. It was dark brown and looked like it might have been an antique, but it was really well kept and, as far as he could hear, there wasn't a key out of tune. And Ally was playing it.

_Shit. Shit shit shit._

He wasn't ready. He wasn't expecting her to see her right away, some part of him had thought I might not even get to see her at all. He hadn't prepared himself properly, he hadn't gone over what he was going to say to her. Right now, he wasn't even sure he could remember how to speak at all.

She hadn't seen him yet, too concentrated on the complicated piece she was playing, and he contemplated running away. Going to find Mr Dawson and apologize, make up some excuse about his parents needing him at home, or his manager requesting an urgent meeting. He would reschedule, prepare better for next time. Iron his shirt and wear a jacket, get Ally something better than the stupid-ass jar of pickles he'd picked up on the way, lacking anything better to bring. He'd rehearse his speech, brush his teeth one more time, maybe wear a bit of cologne.

Of course, Ally looked up before he could put any of these plans into action.

They hadn't seen each other in about eight months, since the night she'd ended up in the hospital. He hadn't been able to go visit her there due to his decision to prolong his stay at the clinic, and hadn't gone after because her Dad had checked her into another rehabilitation center in the North East. A more traditional place with less holistic treatments and where she wouldn't be able to communicate with the outside using anything other than an old pay phone. Much more like a hospital than a five stars hotel—her father had explained to him over the phone—that maybe would help her understand the seriousness of her addiction (though Austin was pretty sure than almost dying had taught her that already).

He knew she'd gotten out some time at the beginning of fall, just as he was beginning to jumpstart his career with the announcement of a small national tour that would consist of his greatest hits and sneak peek the new material he was working on. He'd spent the five months after that traveling around the country, singing, dancing and meeting fans, and he'd pretended to be too busy to go see her or even call her, until he realized that it didn't really matter how much time would pass, if he didn't find some sort of closure, he would continue missing her like crazy. He needed to explain, apologize, and then maybe he could truly put an end to that part of his life.

But now, seeing her for the first time in so long, he didn't want closure. He wanted a new start.

"Hey," she smiled, without getting up.

"Hey," he said back, taking a small step towards her.

She looked different, in a good way. She looked healthier, and Austin couldn't really explain _how_ she did, but it was more obvious the more he stared at her. Physically, there weren't many differences. Her cheeks were perhaps a little fuller, her complexion a bit rosier, but her chestnut hair fell in waves on her shoulders just as he remembered, her lips were just as pink and eyes just as dark.

He knew she was waiting for him to say something, but his mind was completely empty. Should he tell her she looked great? That he'd missed her?

"Your house is great," he said instead.

She giggled. "Thanks. It's big."

"I think that might be a bit of an understatement."

This time, she laughed. He'd missed her laugh. "You're right. But hey, I bet it's nothing compared to the mansions in Hollywood."

Austin smiled, feeling vaguely embarrassed for unknown reasons.

"Are those pickles?" she asked a second later, eyes dropping on the jar he was holding.

"Uh, yeah! I didn't know what kind of flowers you liked," he admitted. He raised the jar and looked at it for a second, before stepping forward. "I thought you'd like pickles more than chocolates."

"You thought right," she giggled, then gestured for him to come sit next to her on the piano bench.

He did so and put the jar in her hands. She set it on the piano, right next to the music desk. As she did, he got to look at her a bit more.

She was wearing a flowered sundress, tight around her waist but flowy over her thighs, and her nails were coated in red nail-polish, which he had never seen on her. It made her fingers look longer and he kinda liked it. There was a simple, silver band around her right index finger, and she was wearing a couple of bracelets on both wrists.

There were so many more details about her now, little things that she didn't bother to wear while in rehab, but were everywhere now. They made her look fuller, somehow. The idea that every accessory came with its own short story about how she got to own it, and the fact that that morning, upon getting dressed, she'd picked a pair of earrings and a bracelet over others, added to her personality. She'd always looked somewhat spent during the time he'd met her, now she was colorful and rich, and the thought made him happy.

Without thinking, he moved his hand over her arm to touch the glittering beads on one particular bracelet. He smiled to himself and, from the corner of his eye, caught her blush. When he looked up, she was just inches away.

"Hi," he whispered, with a small laugh. He wasn't really all that nervous anymore.

"Hi."

They kept staring into each other's eyes for a few more, very long seconds, very aware of the fact that is fingers were now grazing the soft skin of her wrist. His smile slowly faltered as both of their expressions deepened, as if every moment they spent touching reminded them more of the last time they'd talked to each other. That night when they'd broken each other's heart.

He'd come there to apologize, to make amends. Step number nine. He'd prepared a grand speeches to make to every person he'd hurt and she was the last one on his list. He'd purposely put her last, during the time when he didn't know if he even wanted to see her at all. He'd thought about what to say a lot, more than he'd thought about what to say to anyone else. He had ten different ways to start and even more to end, but they were all gone in the instant he'd looked into her eyes.

Her big, soulful eyes. Eyes that were not broken anymore, and that he did not want to risk see breaking ever again.

"I'm sorry," he said simply, dropping his gaze on the piano keys. "I'm so, _so_ sorry."

"Austin, it's fine."

"It's not. I was a fucking asshole to you. I was selfish and I said selfish things, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," she whispered, and he wasn't really surprised. Not really. "I was in a really bad place last year, and I was so afraid of getting hurt that I pushed you away. It sounds so cliché, I know, but everything was shit and you were too good to be true," she explained, a bit bitterly.

"I did hurt you. I couldn't handle the fact that you didn't love me back," he sighed.

"I couldn't handle the fact that I _did_ love you back."

He snapped his head up to look at her and found her smiling and blushing. "You did?"

"I did. I still do."

Joy bursted through his heart so suddenly that he worried that his heart was gonna stop. Nothing in his life had never made him feel as good as that single moment, when she smiled and silently locked her fingers between his. He felt like getting up and jumping and dancing until his lungs burned, and he thought about kissing her. God, he wanted to kiss her so badly.

"Even after all this time?" he asked, just to be sure.

"It's crazy, huh?" she widened her smile. "It's weird, it feels so clear to me now, and it makes me so happy... I don't understand why I spent so long trying to deny it," she admitted. "I guess a lucid mind is one of the perks of being eight-months-sober."

Austin nodded. There were so many things that he'd come to realize in his journey to recovery that made his behavior from before look ridiculous. All of his desire to save her, to help her out of the darkness that was surrounding her, was probably just his brain projecting his own need of a rescue onto her. And yes, maybe he had fallen in love with her along the way, but he'd never been the one who was supposed to make her better. She had to make herself better, before anyone could really help her, just like he had to make himself better before being ready to face her again.

"Our timing was shit," he said, frowning.

"It really was," she nodded. They were still holding hands, but she was looking much more serious now. "Do you, um—do you think we could, I don't know—"

He kissed her before she could finish the sentence, because she was tomato red and stuttering, and he knew what she was gonna ask him, anyway.

She smiled against his lips, held his cheek in her hand and scooted closer, while he slowly gave into the dizziness that came with kissing her. She tasted the same, she smelled the same, and for a second he thought that upon letting her go, he would find himself back in that dark room in the clinic, where they'd hooked up for the first time. That he was gonna see her sad soul seeping through a void stare. But when he saw her again she was smiling more than he'd ever seen her do, and it made him want to kiss her all over again.

Before he could, though, she sighed and snuggled against his chest, arms surprisingly strong around his back. He could feel a pinch of desperation in the gesture, and he knew that she was afraid that it might be too good to be true. He knew because he was terrified, as well. He hugged her back.

He could not lose her again.

"I missed you," she whispered into his shirt.

"I'm right here," he kissed her hair, hoping to sound as reassuring as he could. "I'm always gonna be right here, I promise."

And he meant it. And she knew he did.

Patrick couldn't have been more right, all those months ago during their therapy sessions: the path really was long and difficult. Perhaps they would never truly get to the end of it, and at times, they would still feel as lost as they had during the first, painful months. But they'd each found their way back to happiness, back to trust and passion, and perhaps they could walk it together, hand in hand.

He held her closer, smiling onto the crown of her head, and felt somehow safer as he realized that getting lost would be a whole lot harder, if he had her by his side.

He hoped she would feel the same, and deep down he knew she did.


End file.
